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Self Expression Poems, stories, artwork and similar creations are great ways to let out your thoughts or feelings. Please share your work with us here!

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
InTheFlood Offline
Walking In The Sun...
I've been here a while
********
 
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Name: Amelia
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Location: Waiting On A Second-Hand Pick Me Up

Posts: 1,338
Join Date: January 7th 2009

Wink Poemy lyricy thing - May 9th 2009, 01:24 AM

Just something I wrote.
Comments make me happy

US AND THEM

She just dances
And takes chances
Don’t care about the circumstances
Picture this
For what it is
A challenge on her life of bliss

As tomorrow becomes today
We fly up, up and away
In the daylight we will lay
Until the end of the day

With the night, comes the dark
With the dark, a broken heart
Waiting for some sort of spark
That sets us and them apart

After work we’re clockin out
Head down town start rockin out
Soon you’ll need some knockin out
Downing out glass after glass
Forget about keeping class
Waiting for the time to pass

As tomorrow becomes today
We fly up, up and away
In the daylight we will lay
Until the end of the day

With the night, comes the dark
With the dark, a broken heart
Waiting for some sort of spark
That sets us and them apart

We’ll run round dirty and drunk
Dance to the wrong kinda funk
And I ask who’d of thunk
It would be a good idea
To leave and disappear
To up and run from here

As tomorrow becomes today
We fly up, up and away
In the daylight we will lay
Until the end of the day

With the night, comes the dark
With the dark, a broken heart
Waiting for some sort of spark
That sets us and them apart


║▌│█│║▌║││█║▌│║▌║
ORIGINAL MCFLY FAN


"Another year over, and we're still together.
It's not always easy, but McFly's here forever
I know you believe me, when you look into my eyes
'Cause McFly never dies, because The Heart Never Lies!"
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
*Rainbow*Rider* Offline
<3
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Name: Hannah
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Location: England

Posts: 1,928
Join Date: January 25th 2009

Re: Poemy lyricy thing - May 9th 2009, 10:09 AM

I love this a lot. Kinda reminds me of my social life a few years ago...Going out, drinking, doing stupid things, but its got a touch of innocence to it too.
Defiantly wanna see more of your stuff on here.
<3



If the world is a cold place
Make it your business to start some fires




   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
InTheFlood Offline
Walking In The Sun...
I've been here a while
********
 
InTheFlood's Avatar
 
Name: Amelia
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Location: Waiting On A Second-Hand Pick Me Up

Posts: 1,338
Join Date: January 7th 2009

Re: Poemy lyricy thing - May 9th 2009, 11:14 AM

Thanks
I do have more stuff on here and I post them regularly just to annoy everyone


║▌│█│║▌║││█║▌│║▌║
ORIGINAL MCFLY FAN


"Another year over, and we're still together.
It's not always easy, but McFly's here forever
I know you believe me, when you look into my eyes
'Cause McFly never dies, because The Heart Never Lies!"
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Union Of V Offline
Scepticism With A Tail
I can't get enough
*********
 
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Name: Basil!!!
Age: 23
Gender: Male
Location: Cork, Ireland

Posts: 2,021
Join Date: January 31st 2009

Re: Poemy lyricy thing - May 9th 2009, 01:17 PM

Definitely getting better! It's fast-pased like that anti-Iraq Mouldy Peaches song... (you know the "We wn't stop" one) or mabye like NUXX... I dunno fun singing it!
  Send a message via MSN to Union Of V  
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
dancer Offline
love, anonymous
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Re: Poemy lyricy thing - May 11th 2009, 11:04 PM

I really like the poem!!!

The rhyme scheme and transitions are really cool, and I really like the refrain (both that there is a refrain and the refrain itself )

Leaving out the final g's in the fourth stanza was a nice touch, too.


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
InTheFlood Offline
Walking In The Sun...
I've been here a while
********
 
InTheFlood's Avatar
 
Name: Amelia
Age: 23
Gender: Female
Location: Waiting On A Second-Hand Pick Me Up

Posts: 1,338
Join Date: January 7th 2009

Re: Poemy lyricy thing - May 12th 2009, 12:00 AM

Thanks both of you
And cheers again Union. yea I did imagine it fast paced.


║▌│█│║▌║││█║▌│║▌║
ORIGINAL MCFLY FAN


"Another year over, and we're still together.
It's not always easy, but McFly's here forever
I know you believe me, when you look into my eyes
'Cause McFly never dies, because The Heart Never Lies!"
   
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