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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
xoxtammixox Offline
Gilmore Girls ADDICT!(:
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Name: Tavia
Gender: Female
Location: US

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Join Date: April 26th 2009

.:Poem About Suicide:. - May 17th 2009, 10:58 PM

Somaday I'll be gone,
Not that I'll be missed.
Everyone's already moving on,
And I still exist.

Sometimes I feel so numb,
At least I can still feel pain.
Look at what I've become,
Two faces but one name.

If anyone even notices,
When I finally die.
At my grave there won't be roses,
It would be in memory of the lie.

I've finally become the enemy,
A war within myself.
Crying without tears is what I see,
But it's a smile to everyone else.

I've finally begun closing the doors,
Shutting myself off from the world.
But, I must admit, it still hurts,
To scream but not be heard.

I don't want to be saved,
I don't want to waste one's time.
I don't need a reason to stay,
But, can I have one not to die?


Thanks if you took the time to read this.
Please leave comments!(:
Also, I ask that you do not copy without permission.
Thanks again,

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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
star_crossd Offline
Color Me Chaotic
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Re: .:Poem About Suicide:. - May 17th 2009, 11:04 PM

Tavia, this is great, I really loved it
Keep writing, hon.

Yesterday I saw you kissing tiny flowers
But everything that lives is born to die
And so I say to you that nothing really matters
And all you do is stand and cry.

Music is life. Start living.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Linz Offline
Life Is About Making Mistakes
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Re: .:Poem About Suicide:. - May 18th 2009, 12:36 AM

Really good.
I especially like the first line in which you said, "SOMEDAY I'll be gone".
Someday shows you have some hope inside you still.

Keep writing!!!
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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Desolate Offline
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Re: .:Poem About Suicide:. - May 18th 2009, 04:20 AM

"I don't need a reason to stay,
But, can I have one not to die?"

I love the controversy of these two lines. By definition they mean the same thing, but when you add in the feeling you get from the lines it's something completely different. I can totally understand what you mean here, it's like that last cord of hope for this world. Great poem, fantastically written and good rhyming as well. Everything flowed nicely. I'd give this a 5/5 for sure.

By the way, have you heard of allpoetry.com?

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