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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
MsNobleEleanor Offline
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One, two, three - January 10th 2018, 04:30 AM

One, two, three your words pearce deep,
There is no going back once has been done,

One, the threats kick in gear,
Fearful of my next verbal attack,
It's all done over text,
You are pathetic to hide behind a screen,

Two, you call me unhealthy,
Have you heard yourself from your microphone?
I am not the one whos unhealthy,
Calling me names, saying I have mental illnesses when I don't,

Three, bullets for the grave you have,
Pushing me far away where interaction is limited,
Your attacks want me to isolate from you,
Your own bullets are yours they aren't mine.

One, two, three I am out of your abusive bullets for target practices,
They soon will no longer pearce deep and you won't have a target.


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Melancholia. Offline
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Re: One, two, three - January 10th 2018, 04:34 AM

I like how you started each line with a different number and also started/ended with "One, two, three." My favorite stanza was "three."


Let it come and let it be...

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Re: One, two, three - January 10th 2018, 08:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Onism. View Post
I like how you started each line with a different number and also started/ended with "One, two, three." My favorite stanza was "three."
I agree. I thought that the poem as a whole was really good but I, too, liked 'three'.

Hope you are doing okay.


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Re: One, two, three - January 11th 2018, 09:09 PM

thats amazing how you did it at the end because for some people its like the person is their chosen target but this one has said they wont be part of the target practicing anymore!
   
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Re: One, two, three - January 13th 2018, 04:18 PM

This is well written. I especially like the ending!


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Oregano Offline
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Re: One, two, three - January 14th 2018, 01:10 PM

I loved this, but the whole time I was singing along (in my mind) to Bodies by Drowning Pool - where the numbers start I really loved the second and third stanza


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Re: One, two, three - January 16th 2018, 10:38 PM

I agree, the "Three" is my favourite. I've always enjoyed reading your work.



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