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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
tomohawk Offline
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Name: tom
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i can wipe your tears away - April 2nd 2010, 01:29 PM

ok so im tom im a lyricist and musician and though i would post a coupld of my songs too see what you guys think, this first one was for a friend that was going through a hard time just to say that im here for them


as i stand beneath the stars
i hold you hand in mine
as we stand beneath the moon
i look intoo your eyes

AND I SEE THE TEARS THAT ARE FALLING
AND I FEEL THE PAIN THEY ARE CAUSING
AND I WHISPER IN YOUR EAR
I CAN WIPE AWAY YOUR TEARS

there was a time you were scared too speak
there was a time when you couldnt look at me
you couldnt step out side the door or leave the room
you cryed up on the floor

AND I SEE THE TEARS THAT ARE FALLING
AND I FEEL THE PAIN THEY ARE CAUSING
AND I WHISPER IN YOUR EAR
I CAN WIPE AWAY YOUR TEARS

any ideas on improvements etc please leave comments stc
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
.Brittany. Offline
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Name: Brittany
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Re: i can wipe your tears away - April 3rd 2010, 12:29 AM

I like this. Keep it up.



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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
evergreen Offline
per aspera ad astra

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Name: Oliver
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Re: i can wipe your tears away - April 3rd 2010, 01:13 AM

The chorus to it and the verses say a lot to me. I love lyrics I can relate to.
Maybe try extending it if you plan on playing it? If that makes sense. I really like this though.


“Remember the mountains and valleys that brought you here.”
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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
WillO'Wisp Offline
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Re: i can wipe your tears away - April 3rd 2010, 03:24 AM

Very expressive and very good, I like it. Keep up the good work!
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Spellbound Offline
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Re: i can wipe your tears away - April 3rd 2010, 07:37 AM

I can tell from this that you're a really good lyricist. This is such a great song. Keep up the good work.


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