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(#1 (permalink))
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Skeleton in a Citadel
![]() Junior TeenHelper **** Name: Amy, Akito, Aki.
Gender: Female
Location: Castlevania.
Posts: 285
Join Date: November 28th 2011
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This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.
Red lines, red lines Dancing across skin The writing is so fine That you can't tell the words within Red lines, red lines Dancing across your eyes It's pain you can't hide Bleeding from the inside Red lines, red lines Dancing across more red Did you ever find That it wasn't just you who bled Red lines, red lines Dancing across skin The writing loops into a butterfly And you stop slashing him. 3:17:02 p.m. 11/29/11 * Inspired by The Butterfly Project.
"Who, being loved, is poor?" - Oscar Wilde - - - - - - - ![]() - - - - - - - "When all you've got is nothing, there's a lot to go around." - - - - - - - "Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill." - - - - - - - HelpLINK Mentor since 1/12/12. |
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(#2 (permalink))
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Sad smiles...
Regular TeenHelper
***** Name: Elsa
Age: 16
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Re: Red Lines -
November 29th 2011, 11:40 PM
Great job. I really like it
Blackbird singing in the dead of night Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life You were only waiting for this moment to arise. ♥the Beatles ![]() Tumblr |
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(#4 (permalink))
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Skeleton in a Citadel
![]() Junior TeenHelper **** Name: Amy, Akito, Aki.
Gender: Female
Location: Castlevania.
Posts: 285
Join Date: November 28th 2011
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Re: Red Lines -
December 2nd 2011, 05:56 AM
Thank you both. <3
"Who, being loved, is poor?" - Oscar Wilde - - - - - - - ![]() - - - - - - - "When all you've got is nothing, there's a lot to go around." - - - - - - - "Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill." - - - - - - - HelpLINK Mentor since 1/12/12. |
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(#5 (permalink))
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I'll be okay...
![]() Outside, huh? ********** Name: Desiree or Dez
Age: 15
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Location: FOR IRAW!!! ...And Connecticut
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Join Date: November 16th 2010
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Re: Red Lines -
December 2nd 2011, 11:22 PM
This is really amazing. I love how you worded everything and how you started every part with "Red lines, red lines".
Sing, the last thing on your mind The last word on your breath I'll be the one to keep you I'll keep you at your best ![]() Self Expression Forum Mod 4/23/12 |
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(#6 (permalink))
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Clinically Liz
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Re: Red Lines -
December 2nd 2011, 11:59 PM
It's a bit confusing to me for it to say "Dancing across skin" and then "dancing across YOUR eyes" I think it would flow better if they both said "your" or neither said it.
But I really like this poem regardless! Very good job! |
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(#7 (permalink))
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Skeleton in a Citadel
![]() Junior TeenHelper **** Name: Amy, Akito, Aki.
Gender: Female
Location: Castlevania.
Posts: 285
Join Date: November 28th 2011
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Re: Red Lines -
December 3rd 2011, 01:34 AM
Hmm, I agree. I'll edit it. Thanks for the suggestion. : )
Updated version: Red lines, red lines Dancing across your skin The writing is so fine That you can't tell the words within Red lines, red lines Dancing across your eyes It's pain you can't hide Bleeding from the inside Red lines, red lines Dancing across more red Did you ever find That it wasn't just you who bled Red lines, red lines
Dancing across your skin The writing loops into a butterfly And you stop slashing him. "Who, being loved, is poor?" - Oscar Wilde - - - - - - - ![]() - - - - - - - "When all you've got is nothing, there's a lot to go around." - - - - - - - "Though hope is frail, it's hard to kill." - - - - - - - HelpLINK Mentor since 1/12/12. |
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