Triggering (Substances): Also Triggering (SH): Guided By Smoky Clouds - kinda long

[brokensmilexx]

Okay so, this is something I actually have been working on for a few days..it talks about smoking marijuana, so if your really against drugs, please don't hatee on here heh '
Its like a rap I would say..but it does have a lot of meaning so please read&comment, I would like to see what people think of it (:

Smoke, fill my lungs

Intoxicate my brain with that sweet numbing vibe
Swirl around behind my eyes,
Bring the warmth from my head to my toes
And as I blow out, give me a show

Its the tale of me and my best friend, Mary Jane
She always knew how to get rid of the pain
I find her most beautiful when it rains,
As I grind er up..Her bud was a beaut its kind of a shame
But no matter, it would have happened sooner or later
Man I remember when I took my first toke, my lungs felt like they got destroyed by a cheese grater

But now smoking weed is an everyday thing

So I feel I can toke like a straight up king

Like Bob Marley himself,

He’s like a book on my shelf

I’ve read him front to back

I know every line

I just want to be enwrapped in his mind

To comprehend life like he did everyday

Always knowing, that there is a way

That you don’t need to worry

Or drowned in the past.

Yesterdays aren’t meant to last

If I could always feel this light, my world would be so fucking bright

I’m tired of being pissed off, feeling like shit

I’ve felt like I was rotting in a deep dark pit, all alone, broken bones, hatred and despair, feeling like nobody cared.

Hell I didn’t even care about myself back then, I wanted to die

Living life felt like just living a massive lie

I always cried, I cut myself too

Man, I’m sure some of you have been in my shoes

Feeling lost in yourself, with no where to go

Being filled with emotions that ache so deep within, making it impossible to hold up your chin.

Everyday feels like a battle that nobody sees

That’s when you finally drop to your knees, let it all out

Emotions trying to flood through you like your some kind of spout

But some can’t get out, so you grab a razor and make it pour out

It gives such a release, a numbing calm..

But I’m done using my metal friend to carve my skin,

I’m done grieving over my sins

It’s time to move on… that’s when I grabbed my bong

Smoke, fill my lungs
Intoxicate my brain with that sweet numbing vibe
Swirl around behind my eyes,
Bring the warmth from my head to my toes
And as I blow out, give me a show

Some may say it’s an addiction, slowly taking over my life

They say it’s a bad habit, you gotta stab it

Kill it before it gets too bad

Hah, you just don’t know anything about the herb

I’d love to smash that bitch’s face on the curb

For judging me from what she heard

If you don’t know me, and don’t know Mary Jane

Shut the fuck up, and don’t say a word

Wipe that turd from your mouth now and get on your way.

If anything this green little plant enhances the sensations of life

It helped me let go of the knife

It calms me down, it picks me up,

It’s been 3 months since I cut myself up.

Thanks to pure determination, the herb helping me make creations, and finally realizing all people hurt in this nation

I went to the health station freaking out, needing help, and the fat bitch at the counter told me 'I had to be a patient'

So I left, smoked a blunt and just sat around

Stared high up into the clouds, just trying to think of reasons to be proud

I’m not loud, I don’t especially like crowds, the hate I felt towards myself was literally mounds inside myself, killing who I used to be.

That’s when I could finally see

Life was not meant to be lived depressed and in doubt, I know sometimes I just want to shout cause the pain falls down like acid rain on my skin

Only its burning me on the inside, not out

And sometimes the days feel like their getting harder and harder,

The weight on my shoulders getting to heavy to bear and I ain’t ever learned how to share,

How to express my pain, in a more reasonable way.

I’ve just learned to smile, nod and say “I’m okay”

It’s so much easier to just get on with my day that way

But I’m getting carried away, too stuck in the past and pain

And today is the day I’m going out and dancing in that rain. I’m unleashing myself from these chains, I’ve slain the beasts that would taunt me in my head in gangs

It’s just time to let go, go with the flow

Smoke some more weed and enjoy the show

I’ve come to terms with my illnesses, no I’m not wack

The cracks in my soul have now all been patched

The latch allowing to open and close my heart is fixed

The piles of bricks sheltering myself deep within have all crumbled to the ground

I feel like I’m no longer falling down.

I’m soaring up, on a cloud of smoke and content

Into the world I missed so much, I can finally see,

Life doesn’t have a definition
It's just meant to be.

<33

[BrookeTHaddict]

that poem is so true, although for me weed took over and i started sacrificing everything but now i manage it, although im not ready to give up completely i control it now, but what you wrote is like my life

[brokensmilexx]

I'm glad you can relate to it, and I feel for you and how weed took over your life. I've seen it happen to many I love and I even fell into it at one point, I was literally stoned 24/7 for months. Now, its still a daily thing but muuch much less.
I hope you can keep it under control and can work through everything, and thanks for reading (:
<33

[letgoslowly]

I LOVE THIS. So true, it makes ya feel good for awhile. Good job on 3 months weed does help. I hope to see more like this! <3

[Autumnwind]

When people say Weed is a gateway drug. It's absolutely true. But it also depends on the person. Some just want what weed has, and others (like me) want something stronger to fufil them.

3 months right now with no use of Herion. But I'll never stop my weed. It helps with too many things, sleep, eating, nausea, and sometimes back pain. Oh, and lack of fun

But great poem, really

[brokensmilexx]

Thank you Di! (:

And Robert, that's very true. I've seen a lot of friends who smoke weed and end up getting hooked on hard drugs, some I never would have expected
And congrats! I know it must be hard, but it gets so much easier and better. And thanks! (:
<33

[Autumnwind]

Originally Posted by brokensmilexx

Thank you Di! (:

And Robert, that's very true. I've seen a lot of friends who smoke weed and end up getting hooked on hard drugs, some I never would have expected
And congrats! I know it must be hard, but it gets so much easier and better. And thanks! (:
<33

Wow I was like. "HOW DOES SHE KNOW MY NAME!? AHHH" then I read under my avatar. "Name: Robert"

Fail. Lol

[GoneBeyondRepair]

i like this alot sara. well done!

[brokensmilexx]

Thankyou! (:

[colie18]

Such a wonderful poem/ rap. As I read it I could feel the pain and the hurt and the confusion. Beautifully Written. Some of my favorite parts were

I’m soaring up, on a cloud of smoke and content Into the world I missed so much, I can finally see,

Life doesn’t have a definition

It's just meant to be.

and

I’ve just learned to smile, nod and say “I’m okay”
It’s so much easier to just get on with my day that way

and

Always knowing, that there is a way
That you don’t need to worry
Or drowned in the past.

Yesterdays aren’t meant to last

You have such a way with words. Its amazing.
I very much enjoyed your poem.

So much emotion.

Beautiful!

[brokensmilexx]

Thank you so much! (:
<33