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Question sexuallity - December 11th 2017, 08:36 PM

[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]I'm a 16 year old girl, ever since grade 7 ive been attracted to boys and I still am, I'm going through a phase of life like my boyfriend did where he didn't feel the feelings but somehow knew they were there, ( I'm not asking about that because both him and my friend said I'm absolutely fine and they both went through it ) for a few days now ive been getting random thoughts about girls and it scares me because I don't want to be bisexual or lesbian so I was asking if anyone knew if I was fine or not please I need advice...[/SIZE][/COLOR][/FONT]
   
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Re: sexuallity - December 11th 2017, 10:49 PM

Hey there,

Regardless of whether you discover that you are attracted to girls, you're definitely fine. There's nothing wrong with being attracted to people of your own gender, or other genders. It may feel a little strange at first to be having these thoughts about girls, but that doesn't mean the thoughts are weird or wrong at all.

It could be that these thoughts are, as you said, entirely random - they may just be some kind of fleeting curiosity that doesn't have anything to do with your sexuality. For example I've had brief thoughts of finding guys attractive or wondering what it would be like to be with one, but they were so inconsequential that I never acted on them and I didn't bother to amend the label to my sexuality to include attraction to males. The same could be true in your case - maybe hormones, stress, boredom, or any other number of things have given you these thoughts, and you could just be straight after all.

Of course, it's also entirely possible that this is just the beginning of your realisation that you may not be straight, and, as I said before, that's completely fine. If you realise you're bisexual, a lesbian, or anything else, that's totally okay. It might feel strange at first and take some adjusting to, but it doesn't make you a bad person, and it doesn't mean you need to change anything about yourself. In fact, having these thoughts doesn't mean that you need to act on them, or even be open about them with anyone. Sexuality can be a very private thing, and you're not obligated to tell anyone about yours if you don't want to.

The only real way to determine the extent of these thoughts is to explore them and see where they lead. Can you see yourself with a girl? Are these thoughts just things like "wow that girl is pretty" or are they more like "I'd like to kiss her"? Are they about girls in general or one or more girls in particular? Is the reason you don't want to think of yourself potentially being attracted to girls because it's not something you ever thought you would be, because you were raised to think being anything other than straight is bad, because you feel like it might change who you are or how your loved ones see you, or something else? If you look deeper into these reservations you might be able to understand more about why this situation makes you uncomfortable, and from there you could work on feeling better about it.

In the end, it's up to you as to how much stock you want to put in these thoughts, and whether you want to act on them. If you're happy with your boyfriend and don't want to explore your potential attraction to girls, then that's all fine. But if you do decide that these thoughts mean something, then that's totally fine too, and you shouldn't feel bad for exploring them.

Hopefully this helped a bit, and I wish you luck with your journey, wherever it may take you.


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