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Unhappy I don't know how to deal with my parents - August 19th 2021, 01:45 PM

[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]I'm 17 just finished high school and I'm currently studying for an entrance exam for college.

Covid started in my senior year and all my plans of studying fell apart I became lost and didn't study for a while, then slowly started studying and I've been studying little by little since then.

I got my result and it was 86%(which I got without giving the exams). My parents are not happy with my performance and are being really rude towards me calling me worthless and that I should be ashamed of myself, the mock entrance exam results have also been awful and the exam is in a few weeks.

I don't talk back to my parents, I always respect them and have never been rude towards them but they still don't treat me with respect and I don't feel any love when they speak to me. Today I heard them arguing, they were saying that I have given up and that I am only "acting" that I'm studying. This really hurt me today, I know that I should not be getting this kind of results and should study seriously but I haven't found a career path I'm really interested in, a career for which I could give my all.

This is really making me depressed I don't know what I am doing wrong, I don't know what to do. I just want to get out of this house and away from my family.[/size][/color][/font]
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Re: I don't know how to deal with my parents - August 19th 2021, 04:05 PM

First of all, 86% is an amazing result, so please don't ever say you shouldn't have got that result and should be doing better because it's honestly such an achievement. Even if covid hadn't happened, that's a huge success and you deserve to feel proud of that even if the people around you don't share that pride. Don't put yourself down. You've done so well and got through so much, you deserve a moment to really enjoy what you've achieved. Well done on this result!

I'm so sorry that your family haven't been kind or supportive to you about this. You're not worthless, and you should never be ashamed of yourself when you're doing the best you can. They shouldn't have said this to you.

There's sometimes this sense of urgency to know exactly what you want to do for a living. At 17, you don't need to have it all figured out yet. I'm 26 and I still have no idea what I want to be when I grow up! It's not fair for them to be judging how much effort you're putting in, when much of the effort over the pandemic has been a mental battle to keep on going. They're not seeing that part, and they're not seeing the effort you're putting in to get such an amazing result in your studies so far. Are you able to sit down with them to talk about this? I am not sure if this is something you feel able to do with them, but if it is, are you able to let them know what you're doing and how you're feeling? Perhaps they don't understand the consequences of the comments they're making.

Otherwise, do you have anybody from high school, such as a teacher you are fond of or a guidance counsellor, who you may be able to contact for some support? Often even after you leave, you're able to contact people for a bit of advice or help with transitioning into another level of education and the pressure that can put on you.

My best advice is that you should do your best, but not drain yourself by doing it. School is hard enough without adding a global pandemic into the mix, and to have achieved what you have is honestly really amazing. I hope you can look at your grade later on and feel better about it than you do right now. It may also be worth looking into what support your preferred college has for its students too. If they have counselling, or accommodation services you can access, this may help you.

I hope you're doing okay and this has helped a bit. You're doing better than you think you are.


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