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Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, and similar topics, ask here!

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bad in bed? - April 22nd 2012, 01:04 AM

The guy I am seeing told me last night when he was drunk that I don't give good blow jobs and that sex with me isn't that good. This really upsets me and I can't stop thinking about it.
   
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Re: bad in bed? - April 22nd 2012, 02:49 AM

I need more information to say much of anything about this beyond: Yeah, he was drunk, but that is a jerk thing to say. ever. Of course you're still thinking about it, anyone would be upset with someone being critical in such an insensitive way!

How old is he? How much experience do either of you have? How long have you been seeing him/having sex with him? Are you communicative outside of the bedroom or in it?
   
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Re: bad in bed? - April 22nd 2012, 07:22 AM

Well, honestly, he was drunk. When he is sober, I would bring this up with him, and ask about places where you can improve. This could have been something he said out of drunkness, or an actual issue that you need to discuss, but either way, you guys need to communicate. He doesn't have the right to say mean things to you, drunk or not.


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Re: bad in bed? - April 22nd 2012, 01:12 PM

When people are drunk, they can say things they either: a. don't mean or b. believe in. If he believes you have areas to improve in, wait until he's sober to talk to him about it. Think of it as constructive criticism.











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Re: bad in bed? - April 22nd 2012, 01:21 PM

I tend to think that alcohol gives you the confidence to say things you most likely wouldn't say sober which I know disagrees with what the other two have said but the best thing to do is talk to him about it while he is sober. Ask him what you can do to improve on it and what he likes/doesn't like but it wasn't a nice thing of him to say and if he wanted to tell you, he could have picked a better way to go about it rather than being drunk so it's understandable that you're upset and still thinking about it.
   
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Re: bad in bed? - April 23rd 2012, 02:12 AM

I agree with Charlie on this one. Also at least now you know to work on it (I was horrible at stuff at first but eventually learned). Also practice makes perfect so have fun with it. Don't get too serious. If y'all mess up try to laugh about it
   
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Re: bad in bed? - April 23rd 2012, 09:02 PM

Personally, i think you need to tell him that it hurt you when he said that. If my bf just came out with it i'd be really upset.

But things in the bedroom always can be improved to each others likes and dislikes. Maybe try to communicate with him in the bedroom... ask him if he likes something... try dirty talking and get him to tell you what he likes... or just watch carefully for expressions etc so you can see which bits he likes.

Sexual things are meant to be fun. Exploring new things should be exciting, and learning what he likes should be a positive experience not leave you feeling bad.


   
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Re: bad in bed? - April 23rd 2012, 10:17 PM

My personal opinion is not to have sex with a drunk person ever. You never know what you're going to expect from them especially in what they say. I would be hurt too, to be honest. To me, it sounds like he isn't a good guy for you to begin with, but then again, maybe it's just my natural instincts. But, like others said in a nutshell, communication is important especially during some fun in bed! Good luck.




   
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Re: bad in bed? - April 26th 2012, 05:46 AM

That was a pretty jerk move. No one should ever tell you that, and being drunk is no excuse. You have every right to be upset.

At the very least, broach the topic when he is sober and let him know how much it upset you.

Things could go a few ways from there. At one end, you could stop having sex with him. At the other, you could ask him in a more relaxed, casual, situation what you can do to "improve" your skills. If he has a soul, he'd be happy to show you what to do.


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