This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.
i have totally fucked my life up i lost my virginity at 14 to a guy who was 24 i wasnt even dateing him no feelings for him at all and sad to say he was even involved with my sister my parents have found out everything from my sneeking out of my window to meet him 9 times to my dateing a girl i feel like they compleately hate me every time i try to talk to them they just say like 2 words all i do every night is go in my room and cry. im at the point where i find myself wanting to just die i have held a gun up to my head ready to pull the trigger probly 4 times i just see the dissapointment i have brought on them and wish i could take it back!!! and for the dateing the girl she has my heart i cant get over her weve been done for over a year and she is still all i think about HELP
Last edited by Coffee.; May 23rd 2012 at 11:30 AM.
Reason: Labeled triggering.
It seems like you've went through a lot in just over a year and at such a young age. However, you haven't disappointed anyone. I'm sure your parents are very hurt from your lack of honesty with them (sneaking out to meet a guy 10 years older than you), but I highly doubt it's disappointment.
Take some deep breaths. You have to realize that we've all made mistakes and/or have done something that have brought us regret in our lives. I regret two years of my life that were wasted on someone that basically cheated on me twice. But, do I dwell on it? No, I don't. I can't. What's in the past is in the past for a reason, and there is nothing you can do to change that.
As for the gun to the head thing, that's going a bit far. Think about how hurt your parents would be if they found you like that one day. Yes, they might be hurt now but they'll get over it. All parents do.
Just continue to move forward. It's the only thing you can do.
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First of all, what happened with this guy is that he used you. You are too young to give consent, and way too young to give consent to a 24 year old man. This is not your fault, so please breathe, and forgive yourself for any wrongs (sneaking out) you may have done. I snuck out at fourteen. It's okay.
Have you talked to this girl about this mistake? I can promise you she'll be understanding. If she loves you, she'll be okay. I would also talk to your parents about this, and admit to them your mistake of sneaking out. Ask them for help, because obviously with your emotional issues and being used the way you have been, talking to somebody (such as your parents) would do you a lot of good. Also, just letting your partner/crush know that you've made mistakes might make them trust you more for your honesty.
Last, you need to realize that there is more to life than this mistake. I'd recommend reading this thread. It contains reasons to live, and might at least give you inspiration. If you need anything else, let me know.
thank you two so much for taking the time im just going try to get over it i guess. i told my parents how sorry i am and everything today and whats been going on and why i did it they are starting to understand what i was feeling i think things are on there way to getting fixed i can only hope! as far as the girl shes already in love with someone else and i just dont need any more drama. but honestly THANK YOU
No problem! I'm glad things are getting sorted between you and your parents. The next thing I would think about would be the situation with the guy. Did you guys use protection? If not, I would suggest keeping an eye on your periods, and hope that nothing comes of this. If so, I'm glad you did that, and I would still think about seeing somebody professional about your feelings. I bet your family will understand.