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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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Internet dating vs friend dating?! (long) - May 25th 2012, 10:54 PM

I'm 20 and NEVER had a girlfriend. I've been really depressed about this for a long time, but can't see it changing. However, I got told to put a profile on an internet dating site (begins with O and end with S with ASI in the middle incase I can't write the name on here haha!). After a couple of weeks, a girl started talking to me, and she seems really nice. She hasn't got a picture on there and hasn't much personal details, but I know she live 22 miles from me and works in a primary school as a helper for the kids. I feel a bit sceptical though, because of the lack of details, pictures, descriptions etc though.
Also My friend invited me out to his Bday meal a few weeks back, and there was a girl there I've never met. She is STUNNING. I found out she is my mates ex, but they are still close friends. We got to know each other, and she told me how she still loves him and want to tell him, after about 2 weeks of me helping her think of ways to tell him, she plucked up the courage, and she told him. He told her he isn't interested, and now things are a little awkward between them. She has told me i'm a fantastic friend though and told me any girl would be lucky to have me. I really like her, she is beautiful, lovely girl, who I really would love to be with. Has anybody got any tips on either/both?!
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Re: Internet dating vs friend dating?! (long) - May 26th 2012, 09:56 AM

I would avoid the mate's ex as that could create a lot of drama. It could put your relationship with your friend in jeopardy, also she still loves him. She could be using you as a rebound or to get back at your mate.

I would go with the internet girl, just message her and get to know her. If something comes out of it that is great, if nothing just move on to the next girl online. The mate's ex is a sticky situation.
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Re: Internet dating vs friend dating?! (long) - May 26th 2012, 02:31 PM

First: your friend's ex isn't interested in you. Any girl that tells you that any girl would be lucky to have you isn't interested in you. It's an absolutely classic sign of being in the friend zone. That isn't necessarily a bad thing: having cool friends is always nice, and she'll likely be able to introduce you to her cute friends. But if you can't deal with only being her friend (and remember, that will inevitably involve her telling you about guys she likes), just stop talking to her.

Second, that online contact sounds like it has very little potential. She has no pictures up and made first contact, which girls rarely do. That means she's obese. That pretty much applies to any girl without a picture, any girl with no full body shots, and almost any girl that sends the first message. The problem with online dating is that it's absolutely cutthroat. If you're a guy that isn't getting dates in real life, you won't get them online either except by sheer weight of numbers. Most girls you message will never reply.

A general tip for online dating, though: never have a prolonged exchange of messages with a girl on the site. In the third or fourth message, ask to meet up. The longer you leave it after that, the more risk you run of running out of momentum.



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Re: Internet dating vs friend dating?! (long) - May 27th 2012, 09:51 PM

I've never felt comfortable talking to girls about personal issues. However, I went out with my female friend Today (with one of her best mates who is male). I've only ever spoken online to her, and we are always helping each other through personal issues, such as her being rejected by her ex (who is one of my best mates) to get back together. She was depressed and really upset and I helped her through it, and she said nobody else has ever helped her as much. Today we were out and spoke about personal issues, and we felt really comfortable around each other. I've never felt so comfortable around a girl before. she is a beautiful girl, really mature for her age (she's 19), and just the perfect girl. I'd LOVE to be with her, but don't want to ruin our friendship, and I'd feel i was holding her back, but she is perfect for me
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