Sex Vs. "Making love"

[Ambiance]

I find the distinction between these two things interesting, because honestly, it's never come up for me. I've had two sexual partners and I was in relationships with both of them, and there haven't been any times that I felt like I was doing one more than the other. I'm into rough sex, and I don't really take extremely dirty talk (I was in the vulgarities thread and that's why I thought of this ) to actually be offensive, and it's been a decent mixture of some really dirty stuff and some romantic talk as well. I don't know how I would feel about sex without a relationship, like it's not off the table for me, but I almost feel like I wouldn't want to get dirty about it with someone I hadn't built up the trust with. So, through this line of logic, I think that "just sex" would be really boring for me. xD

I want to hear everyone else's thoughts.

[SamMarie]

I guess it really depends on the person. There's just some people who can have sex without any emotional ties with somebody. I don't really see how, but it doesn't make sense either. I feel people like that are lost and want something with emotion, but can't seem to find that or really just want it for the pleasure. I've always been a person who needs to have that emotional balance to take that next level of making any love in a sexual manner. I wouldn't honestly try sex just to have it. It seems too important to me to just do it without any emotion. I think making love is better because at least it's worth more in the end when making love is all over. It's way more fun when it has meaning to it. That's just me. Haha.

[Harmony♥]

To me, the different between the two is:
Sex = Rough sex, sex that just happens, etc etc.
Making Love = Passionate sex, romantic sex, etc etc.

To some, there isn't much of a difference between the two while others have very different definitions of the two. My definitions are above.

[Koharuchan]

Hmm...this is an interesting question. When my boyfriend and I are together, I'd definitely call our sexual encounters making love. That's what I think of it; However, we never really call it that, we just say sex. I agree with Shannon that making love is more passionate and romantic, but for some people making love and sex are just the same thing. I'm honestly not sure how I feel about the difference between the two.

[~Wallflower~]

Well, it's the same thing. Making love is just a "smooth" way to say "we had sex". I think the main difference is that I would never say I have "made love before", I have had romantic/passionate sex, but I think to "make love" you have to be with that special someone who completes you. Whereas I think you can just have sex with anyone, I think making love has a lot to do with the emotion behind it

[Coexist.]

This is of course going to vary from person to person, but for me, it depends on who you're with. For me, even when my partner and I have rough sex, I consider it making love. I just love him, and any type of sex we have I feel like is making love. I feel like having friends with benefits, sex in a pretty stagnant relationship. or having sex with a stranger would be just sex. I feel it depends on the person I'm with, and I love my partner. <3

[alexjames]

I'm probably the last person you'd want to answer this, because I'm 20 but never had a girlfriend and never had sex (never even been hugged) !! If I were to meet somebody, I'd have to get to be really close to them, for a long time before I even thought about taking it to the ''next level''. Sex with the one you love is making love, idiots who treat people like a sex object and just sleep around are having sex. I never get why people would want to do that though? Surely making love/sex is meant to be the most special, beautiful thing to do with your true love, sharing each other like that with a stranger just seems pathetic to me!!

[Esc-tactic seat]

I'm 17 and I admit I haven't had any sex "yet". I'm not experienced with it as an act, at least I can't if tell I am tell yet. Dx Maybe I am.. will be.. But I can certainly tell I have thought about this too much and have had A LOT experience with lust, also love.. to tell the difference. My opinion is that making love must be out of love, sharing intimate feelings and the same heavenly experience between two people. And it's special/personal to them... if you know what I mean by this. Simply it's done with feelings, care, lust for this person and at many cases unconditional love. JUST Sex by my thought, on the other hands, is plainly done to please sexual needs, between any couple, serious or not. strangers or not. So it's done WITHOUT feelings or personal intimacy, significance. It doesn't depend on the person but the person's emotions towards his/her partner at that moment and the purpose of sexual intercourse. It can be rough, gentle, long, slow, even fast... even though logically you might think just sex must be rough and fast, but I don't think that's the factor.

anyway, these are my thoughts sorted out in a short paragraph. <3 hope so it doesn't sound complicated or out of subject.

[Kumagoro]

I've never had sex so I wouldn't really know. But when I think about it, I understand the difference, but I've never felt the need to differentiate, if that makes sense? To me, sex is something of a catch-all term - it can be romantic, kinky, whatever. I wouldn't mind if a partner referred to a romantic time as sex. To do something rough or kinky, I'd have to trust the person really well. Hence, loving them would help. Ideally I'd like sex and love to coexist in a relationship, so to me the different words for it don't really matter. That's just me though

[Darth Vader]

Honestly, my opinion is that sex is sex, whether it's with someone you have feelings for or not. I've only had sex with guys I was in committed relationships with, however I've never referred to it as "making love" just because we had feelings for each other. I don't think the type of sex that was going on matters either (whether it be rough sex or slow, intimate sex). I guess it depends on each person & what their personal opinion is, though.

[Brandon]

I've had sex, and I've made love. There is a clear distinction between the two. My girlfriend is into rough sex as well -- I haven't been able to do the rough kind of sex she wants because it makes me feel uncomfortable (I've been trying though). When my girlfriend and I have sex, I wanna fuck her because I'm horny as hell. At that point, it doesn't matter how I achieve ejaculation, but my intention on sex is ejaculation and for her orgasm. I'll pull her hair, do different positions, work myself till I sweat. It could be rough sex, or it could be regular sex where we're horny and we're just trying to satisfy those desires.

Making love is quite different. First, I start out with regular sex. I'll be on top or something, and then there will be a brief moment where we look into each other's eyes and know that we're thinking happy thoughts. I'll look into her eyes and I'll remind myself of how much better she's made my life, what my life would be without her, and this person in front of me is the only reason why I live. After that point, I won't "fuck" her -- I'll work at a continuous and deep motion, bring my head down to her neck and feel her breath on my shoulder. It's no longer about achieving ejaculation, but appreciation. I'm no longer having sex because I'm horny. I'm having sex because I'm in love with her, and every thrust that I make is done with passion, every kiss is with romantic intention, and every gaze into her eyes is letting her know that I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. I'm exactly where I need to be. Right here. With her.

And thus, "having sex" turns into "making love" because every action I'm doing is done with the intent on expressing my love. Passion by showing my strength and showing my weakness with my eyes, etc.

[DanceCommander]

I don't think it necessarily has to do with the TYPE of sex you are having. Sure, people are going to associate "making love" more with candles and caresses more than they would with sex so dirty it would make your grandma's teeth fall out. But I've found it's more about INTENTION than anything else.

Sure, I have had sexual experiences that focus primarily on my feelings for my partner, and vice versa. But some of the most romantic and loving sex I have had has been while doing it really rough and dirty.

So to me it doesn't matter if you're playing Enya or if you have a gag in your mouth; what matters most is whether what you are doing with your partner feels like you are making love to them.

[Silhouette]

I think it depends on who you're with as well. If its a committed relationship and you're in love, then I would say its making love. But overall I think they're pretty similar things, and I usually just refer to it as sex. I agree with Shannon though in that making love is a more romantic way to put it.

[Lu82]

Sex is just to calm the hormones and you dont really care about the person, making love is something deeper you make love with a person you care for and the other way around.

[rissyroo]

Making love is a more intimate experience, where you're having sex with somebody who you love, while thinking about how you love them. Like somebody else has said, I don't think it matters how rough it is, or what position you do it in.

Having sex. . . Is just that. You're just doing it. It can be with somebody who you love - But, your feelings for said person aren't what you're thinking about.

[Arcenciel]

I think it has to do with your feelings about the person. For me, "sex" would just be a meaningless thing. But making love would be just that...making love. Loving another person so much that you wanted to be with them in that way. The interpretation is different for everybody, though, and some may think that there is no difference. It is, indeed, an interesting thing to think of.

[Skeleton]

I think there is a difference. To me, sex is something you can have with anyone, it's fun and can be however you want it to be roughness, position etc wise. Whereas, making love is something you do with someone you love, it's intimate and passionate.

[Come get some]

I think it is more to do with the mood for me rather than the person, although if you love someone it is easier to 'make love'.

[CanadaCraig]

Hi Everyone!!

I hope you're feeling groovy.

To ME......

There is NO SUCH THING as 'making love'.

SEX IS SEX.

You might have NICE sex. But it's still sex.

I think we confuse a lot of 'things' by referring to them with words and/or phrases that actually have nothing to do with what's going on.

SEX has NOTHING TO DO WITH LOVE!

It doesn't 'make love' or 'break love'.

You may love the person you are having sex with - but the sex itself isn't making that love.

IF people accepted that reality - a LOT of people wouldn't get caught up in all of the SEX stuff. They would [More likely than not] take their time and get to know a person BEFORE having sex with them. [Which is how it's supposed to be!]

LOVE is a far greater thing than SEX.

Stop using terms that blur that fact.

GREAT BIG HUG
Craig!

[BestFriend]

well relationship and sex should full each other if you get me. so its totally understandable that having sex with somebody you dont love would be very shelow and not so enjoyable.