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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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My girlfriend is a prude? - June 24th 2012, 10:43 AM

Well ive been with the same girl for two years and well we have sex and everything but shes scared to be fully naked with the lights on. and when i want them on shell never take all her cloths off because shes self consciousness about her body when she has a awesome body hips, a butt, not to big or to small breast
but i dont know how to get her to be more open about things
its starting to get boring in the bedroom?
what do i do?
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Re: My girlfriend is a prude? - June 24th 2012, 01:09 PM

I'm sympathetic. I had a girlfriend like that, too. It usually comes from one or both of two places. She may be from such a strict and sex-phobic upbringing that she is responding to that by not letting you see her naked, or she may have a very negative self image about her body. Even very attractive girls will tell you they're overweight when they're not, or their legs are too short, or their boobs are too small or too large (they never seem to be just right).

The fact that she's having sex with you sort of precludes the first, so I'll assume the second. It's going to be hard to convince her that she's attractive. Maybe she'll let you light a candle after you have sex and you can tell her that she's perfectly proportioned, that she looks like a painting in a museum, that she has a figure like a statue, etc. You get the idea. Use your imagination but don't overdo it and use all your lines the first time. Words mean an awful lot to girls, especially good words.
She may never want to go skinny dipping in a group but I think some confidence is what she needs.


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Re: My girlfriend is a prude? - June 25th 2012, 02:27 AM

When I first began having sex, or becoming sexually active with a partner, it was difficult for me to open up to that person and have sex with the lights on. I've never had the perfect body, and it was strange for me to have someone see me completely naked, with bright lights highlighting all of my horrible qualities that I was SO sure they'd notice with all the lights turned on.

After a while though, I opened up and realized that they loved me for me and they weren't thinking about all the insecurities I was thinking of. Your girlfriend may be experiencing all of these kinds of things because she has some insecurities about her body. You may not realize this because she has never made those insecurities known to you.

Why not open up to her, and let her know that you don't care about what her body looks like, they you love her for her and not just her body. Maybe knowing this, she might be more willing to try having sex or being intimate with the lights on. Remember to take baby steps. If she doesn't want too, respect that and just learn to see without all the bright lights shining on the two of you.











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Re: My girlfriend is a prude? - June 25th 2012, 06:37 AM

Hmm. . . I can relate, to both sides. With my current significant other, neither one of us have seen each other completely in the nude - the shirt has always stayed on, hell, the pants usually remain on too. Probably because we're both rather self conscious. He isn't too confident about his weight, and neither am I; but with me it comes down to just being exposed to somebody like that, more than anything else. Now that I think about it, nobody I've been sexual with has seen me completely naked.

I can sympathize with you; but, I can't really understand being kind of similar to her. I can understand how things could get boring for you, sexually, however. And that you have certain expectations of your partner in bed. So I would say that the best thing for you and for her is to communicate with her about it. Just start up a discussion - Maybe finding out why exactly she likes the clothes/lights on during sex. Just try to understand, and then maybe you'll see a solution. Perhaps you could make some compromises with her. But in the end, it's best not to force her into doing anything she doesn't want to. And if she likes the less kinky kind of conservative sex. . . Well, thats all there is to it. You can't force her to be different or like different things.
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Re: My girlfriend is a prude? - July 3rd 2012, 10:26 AM

I think she is very self conscious about her body. I was the same way.
Before the first time me and my boyfriend first had sex, we had been almost naked and eventually completely naked with each other. We sort of built up to it.

I was very insecure and I don't like my body very much. It has help SO MUCH that my boyfriend always tells me how for instance my thighs are hot, my belly, my boobs, everything, and touches those places gently when he does (these are the things I most dislike about my body). Eventually, I have started to believe him, and around him, I don't think about my body at all.

And I think it would be a good idea for you guys to do something similar. That maybe you don't need to have sex everytime you are naked? To maybe just explore each other? It helped for me, anyway. And afterwards I did not need to think about how my body looked all the time, I got more confidence in bed and I started taking initiative to more kinky and wild stuff
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Re: My girlfriend is a prude? - July 3rd 2012, 10:14 PM

I was the same way. I didn't want to have him looking at me and I would make him turn the life off and after we would be done I would rush to the bathroom and put my clothes back on.

Anyway, you should talk to her. Ask her why she does what she does. Try to compromise with her. If she still doesn't want to do it, respect her wishes. Thats all I can say.


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