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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Asteria Polemoi Offline
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Is this masturbation? (TMI) - July 1st 2013, 06:40 AM

I've been searching all over and I can't find an answer. This is going to be weird, and maybe really TMI, but whatever.

Background information: I'm an aromantic asexual, so none of my "fantasies" ever actually contain me. Unless they're not sexual in nature.

To start with, I'll come right out and say it: I have a pregnancy fetish. Okay, that's my deep, dark secret. Now you know.

When I was three, I started touching myself. Just my crotch, not my vulva or nipples. At daycare, I would refuse to go to sleep during nap time and always found a little corner where I could touch myself in peace. When I was four, my mom became pregnant with my little sister. I started having these really weird dream-like things during nap time; I was awake, but these "dreams" always happened during this certain song on the CD the teachers would play during nap time.

The "dream" was really, really weird. Basically, it was this weird organization thing that would kidnap people and force them to become pregnant. When I was five, my mom had my little sister and that just sort of pushed these dreams even farther, I guess. Soon I was almost acting them out. I would lay on my stomach, fully clothed, and take my baby blanket and put it right underneath my crotch, not my vagina. I would rub it against my baby blanket for about two minutes and then I'd be done when the song was over. Sometimes I did it multiple times because it just felt good.

I was discovered by a teacher and discouraged from doing so. After I would pretend to be pregnant by shoving my blanket up my shirt, it was threatened to be taken away from me. So I would lay on my stomach, fold the blanket out over me, and then take the four corners and curve them around me so I could reach my crotch. It wasn't nearly as satisfying, so I switched to rubbing my fingers against my crotch instead.

My parents eventually found out about the blanket and told me to stop. I started doing it in privacy. It seemed to be triggered by pregnant women. I remember once I did it for an hour because I was watching an hour-long TV show with a pregnant woman in it. It embarrassed me to do it and eventually I stopped in fourth grade. I had learned about sex by then, and I thought I was imitating it and I needed to stop before I started my period because I was afraid I was going to get pregnant by doing it.

That didn't last long. I started dabbling in it again a year later, and by seventh grade I had fallen back into doing it. Eighth grade, it had become a daily thing. I'm going into tenth grade now, and I do it multiple times a day still.

Before I didn't really fantasize about anything; it just felt good, so when I saw a pregnant woman I would go into my room and do it because I felt weird. It wasn't really until sixth grade I started "fantasizing." In sixth grade, I just thought of the Phantom of the Opera. (I was obsessed, okay?) Now my fantasies have become much more intricate.

About half of the time, I fantasize about other couples having sex. It's never me; if I put myself in the fantasy, I instantly lose interest. Even then, I don't actually see anything. I usually just see the head and bare back of a naked man rocking on top of a woman. The man is usually the fictional character or celebrity of my choice; the woman, their wife or girlfriend or whoever I ship them with or something. The other half of the time involves pregnancy scenarios. Sometimes it might be me that's pregnant with the baby of a fictional character or celebrity, but other times it's the same couple I would have "sexual" fantasies about getting ready to have a baby. It's always about the last trimester, labor, and childbirth. I've even acted it out a few times.

tl;dr- Here are my questions:
  • Since I'm not touching my vuvla or clitoris, and instead rubbing on the top of my crotch, is it masturbation?
  • Since I've never orgasmed, is it masturbation?
  • Because I'm not putting myself in sexual scenarios, is it masturbation?
  • I don't feel sexual attraction in the first place. Instead, I do it because it feels good. Is it masturbation?
  • My "fantasies" (if you can call them that) mostly involve pregnacy. Is it masturbation?

Thank you so, so much for answering!


"You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it."

Feel free to message me anytime. I would love to talk with you.
   
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Emileenicolee Offline
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Re: Is this masturbation? (TMI) - July 1st 2013, 06:53 AM

I'll start off by saying that the blanket rubbing isn't unheard of. It's actually something a lot of very young girls do, surprisingly. It's just not something people talk about. I for one know that I did it when I was younger a lot, starting at about 4 years old. Now, to answer your first question, I think you need to ask yourself if you're truly getting off? If it's to feed a sexual desire, then by definition it is masturbation. But if to you it isn't inherently sexual, then no, it wouldn't be.
This is very confusing and I can see why you would seek answers because on one hand, it could mean that you are gaining sexual pleasure from it but on the other, it might just feel good. Does it feel good in the way that a backrub would feel good? Or something different?
The pregnancy fetish could very well be sexual but it could also just be an admiration or a desire for that. A lot of people find the allure of pregnancy and the round stomach to be very beautiful. Either way, I don't think there's anything wrong with you
   
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Asteria Polemoi Offline
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Re: Is this masturbation? (TMI) - July 2nd 2013, 03:16 AM

Thanks for you answer, it's helped cleared things up. I do it just because it feels good, not because of sexual desire.


"You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it."

Feel free to message me anytime. I would love to talk with you.
   
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Viney Skittles Offline
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Re: Is this masturbation? (TMI) - July 3rd 2013, 10:28 AM

Everyone is different. I personally have fantasies about fictional characters and I guess it's normal since half of the population seems to do it too. At a young age girls are exposed to things and we remember them because they are familiar. I think it's easy to say that you're normal, it happens and you're going to experiment. Just be safe about it and just know that a lot of these fantasies you're having will change over time and just don't let it define you.


Viney <3
   
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Re: Is this masturbation? (TMI) - July 11th 2013, 05:07 AM

One I actually have a bit of knowledge on!
I won't give you my history, but I have spent quite a bit of time with a psych due to some sexual deviance earlier in my teen years.

What you're doing for the most part isn't masturbating. No matter how far you stretch the definition, masturbation is physically giving yourself sexual gratification.

What you're having is simply fantasies. Sexual fantasies don't have to be about sex and often people get really pent up because of them.

Whether you intend them to be sexual or not, you're having thoughts that trigger the same or similar reactions within your brain that are associated with sexual activity or arousal.
Some people can actually achieve orgasm through these thoughts, but that isn't masturbation any more than a wet dream is
   
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