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Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, and similar topics, ask here!

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
acting101 Offline
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Don't Want to Give Oral - May 16th 2014, 12:19 AM

Hey there.

So I've yet to be in a sexual relationship, and I'm very indecisive on how I feel about sex and related acts. It might just be because I haven't experienced it yet, but I'm not sure. I'm willing to try though if I ever find a guy I can trust.

But I really don't like the idea of oral sex, giving or getting, and I know that a lot of guys like to receive it. When I get into a sexual relationship, I'm pretty sure that I won't want to give any, at least not for a while.

Any girls out there who also don't like giving oral sex to guys? How have your partners react when you tell them no? I know it'll be different reactions depending on the guy, but I'm just curious to hear stories.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Don't Want to Give Oral - May 16th 2014, 01:00 AM

It's perfectly ok not to want to give oral, when I was last in a relationship with a guy I made it very clear that I didn't want to give it to him because, putting it bluntly, I found the whole idea of it grotesque. When I told him about it he was pretty fine with it and said to me that if it's not something I'd want to do then he'd fully accept it and certainly wouldn't try and force me, which he didn't.

Whatever guy you find, make sure to let him know that you're not interested in the idea of oral sex, giving or receiving. While there are a lot of guys out there who may not take it as well as expected, if they do really care about you, chances are they'll probably just accept it an move on. Then, if you ever feel ready to, it'll be up to you entirely.


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Re: Don't Want to Give Oral - May 16th 2014, 01:42 AM

I'm not opposed to oral sex (giving or receiving), but I've had to have a similar talk to my partner about anal (as it's simply not something I am interested in) and he was 100% respectful about it. If you meet a man who won't date you for that reason, it's not a relationship worth keeping. Does it make him a horrible person? No, we all have requirements in a relationship. There might be guys out there who completely need oral sex in a relationship in order for them to be happy, and that's their right. You also have the right to be opposed. There are billions of people out there; you'll find somebody whose sexual requirements match or cooperate with yours.


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Re: Don't Want to Give Oral - May 16th 2014, 05:13 AM

A good guy will always respect your decisions and if you don't want to give oral, he'll accept that. Sometimes my fiancé really wants me to give him oral, but I just have to tell him no sometimes, because sometimes I just don't want to do it. And he accepts and respects that no problem.


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Re: Don't Want to Give Oral - May 16th 2014, 07:25 AM

I agree what has been said in the above posts. In my previous relationship I made it quite clear that I do not want to oral, he did accept it!
A guy who respects you will accept your decision, because in the end all that matters is how comfortable you both are doing certain things. So, you don't really have to worry about it.
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Re: Don't Want to Give Oral - May 16th 2014, 11:46 AM

I'd be open to the idea of oral, but I just wanted to say that it is OKAY if you don't want to give it. It all comes down to personal preference, and he should be able to accept your decision and not push you.


   
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Re: Don't Want to Give Oral - May 16th 2014, 12:38 PM

Everyone has said it, you don't have to do it if you don't want to. As long as you find yourself a nice guy who respects you, he will understand. Sure, most guys like it, but some don't. So don't let yourself worry about it.



   
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Re: Don't Want to Give Oral - May 17th 2014, 12:25 AM

I feel like communication is key, you don't necessarily need to make it a big heart to heart even, just the ability to be like "not right now" is huge, and you can just say that like you'd like to get more comfortable first, lots of people get uncomfortable by things like oral and that's ok. If you think "maybe someday" make sure that is clear, say "its not off the table entirely, but for now it is" and that you will indicate when is a good time.




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Re: Don't Want to Give Oral - May 17th 2014, 11:06 PM

You say you haven't been in a sexual relationship. A lot can change if you find Mr. Right. Here, you are mentioning oral sex, but there are a variety of ways to be sexual with someone. Ask yourself how you feel about vaginal and anal intercourse. Otherwise, there are a lot of guys that find a well-done, slow handjob to be the ultimate.
   
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