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Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, and similar topics, ask here!

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
AspenCO Offline
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A guy in need of girl help? - June 4th 2014, 01:07 AM

So a i friend of mine came over the other day and I've liked her for a very long time (upwards of a year) However whenever i would be flirty/jokingly sexual to her she would just say things like "gross" or "eew" playfully.

So like i said she came over and we just started watching netflix in my room and my parents left soon after
And i got really tired and when i get really tired i dont think about what i do, i just do it. So i laid on her thighs (she was lying on her stomach) and started to touch her just playing around. And she started to breathe heavily and her heart started beating fast. So i just started touch her and i was fumbling around up her shirt just playing, telling her if she wants me to stop then to tell me, not thinking i was going to get far And she let me unhook her bra and she rolled over and let me play with her breasts / nipples, but she wouldnt let me lift her shirt all the way so i moved my hand down on her underwear and moved it to the side and started to rub a bit
and she didnt really say anything, or tell me to stop and i asked if she wanted me to stop but she just said nothing And then later just acted like nothing happened.

So basically im wondering: Why did she do this? Should i confront her about the whole experience? Why wouldnt she let me remove her shirt, but she let me fondle her breasts?

P.S. We're not in a relationship, with anyone or eachother.
Thanks for the help in advance

Last edited by AspenCO; June 4th 2014 at 09:54 PM.
   
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Re: I'm a guy and just really confused. Beware of sexual content. - June 4th 2014, 09:13 PM

I cant say anything for the first two questions since i aint a chick, but for the third one...
Me and my ex had the same thing. In the beggining, while we were both new to eachother, we would play around and stuffs but she would take off her bra/shirt. I think its because she was just shy, maybe the girl you were with was shy as well... Now, i dont know your age, but I would suggest going slow. I went like you did and things went south quickly. Also, communication is the key. Try to talk with her about that. If she shies out, give her time.
But yeah, just dont do anything reckless or it might cost you your head or your friendship with her...
But if i were you i would listen to me anyways, i would rather wait untill someone.... Less crazy... Said anything about that situation... xD
But whatever happens, good luck dude.
   
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Re: I'm a guy and just really confused. Beware of sexual content. - June 4th 2014, 09:57 PM

I don't think you should confront her about anything. You were alone in the house, in your room watching tv. Stuff like this just happens in that situation sometimes. If you want something to come of it, that you like her and want to date her, then you could talk to her about that and see if she feels the same.



   
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Re: I'm a guy and just really confused. Beware of sexual content. - June 4th 2014, 10:27 PM

Hey there,

Like the other posters have said, communication is the key. You mentioned that you've had feelings for this girl for a while. If you're interested in dating her, express this to her and see how she feels. Even if you're not interested in the dating route but continue to hang out with her, it may be a good idea to talk about things, especially if you continue to be sexually involved with her. Communicating will help you both understand what you both want and will help clear things up. Failing to talk about things could cause a lot of confusion, hurt feelings, and could change or ruin your friendship with her.

If you both continue to see each other, just take it slow. Most people are shy with new partners and it takes a while before they feel comfortable enough to trust going further. Just keep the communication open, don't rush things, and if either one of you is uncomfortable, stop and respect their decision.

Hopefully this helps a bit!
Take care. :]


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Re: I'm a guy and just really confused. Beware of sexual content. - June 6th 2014, 01:30 PM

This may or may not happen in the future, depending upon if the two of you found yourselves in a similar situation with the two of you alone in a room with the parents gone. Also, you were tired which led to your making moves. I'm guessing she does not want to talk about what happened, but at the time allowed things to happen to her up to a certain level. It was the first time you were being sexual with her. Who knows? Next time she might go further. If she comes over again to your room, that's a sign that she's ready for more. Of course, if she declines, that's the end of it, at least for now.
   
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Re: I'm a guy and just really confused. Beware of sexual content. - June 7th 2014, 09:42 PM

It's not even something related to gender so I don't understand the 'I'm not a chick so I can't say' comment up there... in any case, it's just related to boundaries. Maybe she felt comfortable letting you touch her breasts but felt self-conscious about removing her shirt. People have different boundaries.

I think it was a good idea to let her tell you if she wanted you to stop, but in the future, it might be a better idea to ask before doing anything, so that if she feels like you'd be upset if you said no, she'll feel more at ease, and to discuss stuff. It may seem awkward to discuss things but it helps make sure you're both on the same page when you do anything sexual, and if you can't communicate with someone (this goes both ways) then you shouldn't be doing anything together.

As to whether you should talk to her about it or not, it depends. If you're romantically or sexually interested in her, you could try to approach the subject and talk to her honestly, ask her how she felt about what happened, etc. Don't be upset if she she's not interested in taking things further, sometimes people are just curious on that instant but after giving it some thought don't really want to do anything else, so if she says no and that she's not interested in you, respect her boundaries and just keep being friends. If she's interested, then communicating more about it to prevent any confusion in the future can really help.

Also, if you're not particularly interested in dating her or being friends with benefits, you don't have to talk about what happened if you think it would be uncomfortable for you or her, or you can let her know you're willing to discuss it but also respect it if she doesn't want to talk about it.


   
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