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Barelythere Offline
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Exclamation I'm scared and confused - July 30th 2014, 09:03 AM

Hi there,
I'm not even sure where to begin. Every time my boyfriend touches me in a sexual way I start bawling my eyes out. Afterwards I become super withdrawn or freeze up. It's nothing he's doing wrong and I don't know what to do. Every time he or any previous boyfriend makes moves on me I feel threatened or like I'm going to be taken advantage of, even though that isn't their intention. I also flinch when I'm touched and get major anxiety and nerves about it. I don't recall any sexual abuse in my life but it makes me wonder. Is that wrong to think it's a possibility? I have an incredibly low self esteem so maybe that's a part of it but I don't understand why I'm like this. I've been diagnosed with anxiety and depression as well as PTSD after my dad passed away. I tend to cry and meltdown for no reason and I feel pathetic. But it's scaring me that I have no explanation and is really effecting my life. Any theories or advice? Thank you so much for your time.
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Re: I'm scared and confused - July 30th 2014, 08:03 PM

This is clearly a big issue in your life and as well as the other difficulties you're having, it must be hard for you. I would strongly recommend that you speak to a professional about this and try to work out the cause of why you don't want to be sexual with anyone. There may be something that's put a mental block on it.

I can't advise much else because I don't know what's going on in your head, but it's best to speak to someone who can find out.

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Re: I'm scared and confused - August 17th 2014, 05:25 AM

Hi so this obviously is a big problem in your life and gets in the way of your social/love life. since you have been diagnosed with anxiety and PTSD it's not easy trying to figure out how to help you with just advise. I think you should talk to a trusted adult then go to a professional from there. don't feel pathetic or stupid, it's not your fault. a professional can and will help and everything will get better (:
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Re: I'm scared and confused - August 17th 2014, 03:01 PM

Sorry I don't have much by way of advice, but I wanted to let you know you're not alone. Like, I basically could have written that first post.
I'm okay with some forms of sexual touching, but certain things, especially full-on sex, I just can't handle. He's the first guy I've been with, and we've "tried" sex maybe 6 or 7 times over the course of a few weeks. I have cried every single time, for absolutely no apparent reason.
So I don't know exactly what the problem is, either, though I don't think it's necessarily a sign of abuse. I, too, have cripplingly low self-esteem, and I'm sure that's a huge contributing factor.
Just a bit of support for you here You can message me any time
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