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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Alexander1234 Offline
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Unhappy Does the presence of body fat and male breasts , scare women away when dating? - February 17th 2016, 04:10 AM

I am convinced that my weight/how my torso looks , are very distasteful to most girls . I think I'm too fat for any girl that I find attractive or I'm friends with , to be in a more intimate relationship with me . Everytime I look at an attractive female , 9/10 I will think that she is out of my league due to weight. I'm currently working on losing it , but it's really hard for me to lose it because my brain doesn't want to do anything else but play video games and watch Netflix. I've stopped eating fatty foods like potato chips and coka-cola but I don't feel different...
My Weight: Between [EDITED]
My Height: 6'0
My BMI: [EDITED]
I prefer female advice , but males are welcome too
Thanks

Last edited by Coffee.; February 17th 2016 at 12:27 PM. Reason: Please do not post weight numbers as they are triggering to some users and against Code of Conduct. Thanks! :)
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Re: Does the presence of body fat and male breasts , scare women away when dating? - February 17th 2016, 05:13 AM

Just a warning that weight numbers are not allowed on here, and will be taken off shortly by a moderator

I know for me personally, I don't care about body weight as to me it doesn't really matter. It all depends on the person. Some people do, some people don't. If you get to know a person and they care about body weight then it doesn't matter. There will be another person for you. You are 16 which means you have plenty of time to find someone who doesn't care about it, and if you really want to, get rid of the weight. Its more about your personality and if your personality is great then no one will even notice anything else.

Take care.


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Does the presence of body fat and male breasts , scare women away when dating? - February 17th 2016, 12:31 PM

Improving your diet is a positive change for your well-being and will make you feel better in the long run with or without a partner. If you're worried about your diet and exercise status, I'd speak to a health professional! You don't need to cut out all junk food entirely-this can sometimes make junk food even more tempting and cause you to slip and eat more of it! Instead, eat it in moderation along with other healthy foods, such as high protein chicken, beans (which are also filled with fiber), and fat sources such as seeds and nuts! I'd also focus less on your weight. Here, you posted your weight and BMI and I feel you're very hung up on those numbers. Those numbers are not a measurement of your worth, nor really a great estimation of your health. They're just numbers. Focus on feeling good, both physically and emotionally.

Now, for your real question. People vary in their preferences. My friend tends to like very muscular guys, I tend to be attracted to guys more in an "average" range, maybe with a bit of muscles or a bit chubby. You have your own preferences for women. You can't expect all people to like you, but there are many people who will be attracted to your body type and the personality inside. Don't worry so much about trying to fit some thin ideal. Treat yourself well, treat other people kindly, and somebody will appreciate it.


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Re: Does the presence of body fat and male breasts , scare women away when dating? - February 17th 2016, 01:13 PM

Everyone has their own preference when it comes to dating. There isn't one set size that you have to be in order to get a girlfriend. If you want to lose weight, lose weight for you and your own well-being rather than a potential partner. Even if you just start out at 10-15 minutes a day, take a walk around the block or ride your bike. You can work your way up to longer workouts, but it is important to ease into it.
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Re: Does the presence of body fat and male breasts , scare women away when dating? - February 17th 2016, 02:01 PM

Like everyone has mentioned so far, size is all about personal preference. Personally, excess weight doesn't scare me, but I also find it very off putting (like 10 lbs maybe, but actually overweight, no), which makes me feel like a hypocrite because I'm not thin, but that's just my opinion, I know other girls who are totally into guys who are a little softer (I like saying "soft" not "fat" because it sound more positive haha). It is what it is and it's all about what individuals find preferable. Unfortunately, our society puts a lot of pressure on a certain kind of beauty, which is unfortunately narrow. I think that people have gotten better at tackling the women's side of it because we're the most affected, but men are affected by it too, for which I am sorry.

If you want to begin improving your health, you can do small things, like if you have some data on your phone you can always start by going for 30-ish minute walks around your neighbourhood while listening to Netflix (just be super careful because movies eat your data like it's candy lol).

Set small goals. Like right now if you're playing X hours of video games, cut down by 30 minutes for a walk. When that gets comfy, cut down by 45 minutes, or maybe make that 30 minute walk into a walk-run kind of a thing. Just build up your fitness like that. You can always do things like planks, crunches, squats and lunges while playing video games to build up your muscle tone too (which is a great thing to compliment with cardio fitness, it doesn't need to be in any way bulky though)

The same goes for food. Look, I'm going through the same thing in having struggled with my weight for years where I've been tinkering with what works for me and finally got it right. I have a ton of advice in that department if you want it. Just know that, for now, not all girls do or will care if your overweight. However, if it is something you want to change, then there's nothing wrong with that as long as you do it in a healthy way




Feel free to PM me if you ever need to chat or have questions

Last edited by Always *; February 18th 2016 at 08:07 PM.
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Re: Does the presence of body fat and male breasts , scare women away when dating? - February 18th 2016, 02:57 AM

It doesn't scare me. It's not attractive and it kind of grosses me out. I can only speak for me and my own personal opinions.

Weight loss takes time. Simply cutting out unhealthy foods won't cut it. You have to exercise and make healthy lifestyle choices. If you really want to lose weight, then you'll actively work on it. If you don't want to lose weight, then you won't. It all comes down to your willingness and what your choices are. If you keep doing what you've always done then you'll keep getting what you've always gotten. Nothing changes if nothing changes.
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Re: Does the presence of body fat and male breasts , scare women away when dating? - February 18th 2016, 04:41 AM

Everyone has different size preferences. Personally, I don't find some extra body fat to be a turn-off. I like a wide variety of body types. As long as my partner isn't overly obese or overly thin I don't mind, not because I have anything against people who are overly obese or overly thin, but because those things are often a sign of ill health, and I prefer my partners to be healthy. Keep in mind, though, that health and weight do not equate to the same thing. The number on the scale is not the most important number to go by. There are some very healthy people who would be classified as "overweight." Other numbers are more important. What are your levels like regarding triglycerides, cholesterol, hormones, etc.? How active are you and how often? Those things are more important than the number on the scale.

People have already given you some good advice regarding weight loss, so I'm not going to go into that here, especially because that wasn't your original question. What I will say is this, though: if you want to get healthy (read: healthy, not "thinner"), do it for you. The right person will love you no matter your size. If you try to lose weight, gain muscle mass, etc. for someone else the changes are probably not going to be as lasting as if you do them because YOU want to be healthier. It's a commitment, and the results aren't instant, but if you stick with it and have the right motivation you'll accomplish it in time.

Good luck and feel free to PM me if you need anything else.
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Re: Does the presence of body fat and male breasts , scare women away when dating? - February 20th 2016, 04:05 AM

I can understand your pain bro. But if you can also add resistance training along with cardio. find out if you can use your schools gym (if it has one) or if you can try getting a gym membership. If you are able to look into stronglifts 5x5 a very simple workout routine that works to build muscle and drop fat, ( gets rid of belly and chest fat). all done by building strength in 5 key lifts doing it 3 days a week. check his website, great knowledge and its what I still use for any of my clients I have. Plus add at least 20 minutes of cardio a day.

And to answer your question. It all depends on the girl. Ive met some girls that are into the bigger guys and I've met girls that are repulsed by it. But if you want to go for those girls you find out of your league drop the video games and Netflix, work on yourself (both inside and out) motivate yourself to get fit, go out and start making friends that are girls so you get used to talking to them so you can approach the 9/10 girls. and when you have extra time then play some video games/ netflix. but use that as more of a reward for improving your life.

If you'd like just hit me up and ill try to help as I can.
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Re: Does the presence of body fat and male breasts , scare women away when dating? - February 20th 2016, 03:13 PM

Hey there,

I think different women have different qualities they look for in a guy. Personally, I don't really find skinny guys attractive, it's not something that I look for in a guy. But above what a man looks like their personality is the most important thing.

It's good that you're improving your diet and you want to do more to lose some weight. Maybe you could start out by walking and building up from there, getting fitter will really help with your confidence.

I wish you the best of luck,
Paige


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Re: Does the presence of body fat and male breasts , scare women away when dating? - February 26th 2016, 04:40 PM

Definetifely NO - I think that is no reason, and there is always someone that you are cool with, or things you do not like about persons, so of course there will be ones.
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Re: Does the presence of body fat and male breasts , scare women away when dating? - February 26th 2016, 11:37 PM

I think the obvious answer is most women like a well shaped man. However the most attractive thing is how comfortable you are in your own skin, being confident in the man you are. If you are skeptical of your self other people will be too. If you are 100% comfortable with your self and your flaws others will find you more magnetic. Truly though the shape of your body is constantly changing. realise that the issues you have you can work on. Some people face challenges everyday that they can do nothing about.

I think its in your best interest to curb your life style and eat healthy thats really all it takes. You can choose to work out but honestly nutrition is 80% of your body shape. There are obvious other factors some people have a low materialism there's other things that can naturally cause someone to be thicker. I've truly seen huge people cut massive amounts of weight. You just have to be cognizant of exactly what your eating and drinking and keep in mind this isn't a diet its a complete life style change there is no end to eating heathly.
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