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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Unhappy My First Time - October 9th 2016, 07:03 PM

Last night, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. We'd fooled around a lot, yes, and there was a possibility that I'd gotten pregnant from it. Of course, I never really thought I could have until I did some research.
We stopped doing it when we found a whole bunch of blood everywhere. Honestly, it looked like a murder scene. And I suddenly just so sad. We got it cleaned up and everything, but I realized I was cramping, and I had bad pains in my back and hip region. I knew this wasn't my period-I had it only 4 days before. So I did research.
I found that most girls don't bleed that much when they have sex for the first time. They really don't feel any pains like I did.
I'd heard of my friends story, once, where she hadn't even known she was pregnant, but had a miscarriage anyways. So I did some research on miscarriages. All of the signs of one that I found, I was having. Every single one. I hadn't even considered the possibility that I was pregnant until now. I'm pretty sure it was a miscarriage... I don't know how to feel.
I also have no clue how to break it to my boyfriend. We've discussed this stuff before, but we never talked about anything like this. I don't think either of us really thought we'd get pregnant.
Please help..

Last edited by Wheek!; October 10th 2016 at 01:14 AM. Reason: Moving to more appropriate forum. :)
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Re: My First Time - October 9th 2016, 09:04 PM

Hello and welcome to Teen help.
I could be wrong so hopefully someone reading this corrects me if I am but from my knowledge it takes time to get pregnant. Is this your first time having sex ever or just with your current boyfriend? It should take some time, before getting pregnant so something doesn't add up about having a miscarriage do soon.

The amount of blood you describe is concerning nonetheless. Are you on birth control? I heard that implants can make you bleed even if you're not on your period. I don't know enough about that though. I would recommend speaking to a doctor.
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Re: My First Time - October 9th 2016, 09:09 PM

Hey there

Honestly, you don't know for sure if it was a miscarriage. What activities had you done? Other than penetrative sex, most sexual activities carry a very low risk for pregnancy. While it's possible, it seems very unlikely you could have been pregnant without having penetrative, penis-vaginal sex before.

You're right, most people don't bleed a lot at their first time. But some bleed a lot-hymenal tearing can cause quite a bit of bleeding for some people, especially if you didn't use lube. I actually bled quite a bit my first time because I was allergic to the condoms I was using-there are many reasons that a person might bleed during sex. I'd recommend you see a doctor about the incident. If it was a miscarriage, they can make sure there wasn't remaining tissue still inside of you and that you are okay. But if it wasn't, they can run tests on other possibilities.

I'd talk to your boyfriend about the possibility to both seek support, have him accompany you to the doctor, and discuss safer sex tactics for the future. Good luck, I'm sorry you have to be going through this!

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Question Re: My First Time - October 9th 2016, 11:57 PM

It was my first time ever to have intercourse. I'm not sure how long it takes to get pregnant, but I do know that typically, miscarriages happen before the 10th week of pregnancy. I'm not on birth control yet, and I've never had any surgeries or implants.

I've been pretty active in my life. I've done cheerleading, soccer, basketball, gymnastics, and tennis. I currently do ballet and various forms of dance, and a lot of pilates. I thought perhaps my hymen had already torn, but then why would it have bled so much? The pain wasn't unbearable- just a dull push, like if someone was to push in too hard on any other place on my body.
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Re: My First Time - October 10th 2016, 02:43 PM

I bled a lot the first few times I had sex. Like a lot. I also got a bit of pain too. I couldn't really explain it either. In my opinion it sounds like this was just caused by sex, and not a miscarriage, but if you're concerned go see a doctor. I did, and he attributed it to it just being tearing.

Hope you're doing okay!

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Re: My First Time - October 10th 2016, 05:12 PM

unless you and your boyfriend had fooled around a few weeks or months before actually having sex, and there was a possibility that his sperm got into your vagina, I highly, highly doubt you would have those pregnancy symptoms so soon. in fact, most sites I'm coming across right now are saying pregnancy symptoms don't even show until anywhere from a week to a month after conception.
seriously, I think you're fine, it was probably just the normal pain that can come with losing your virginity.

the only reason most girls don't bleed is because usually the hymen tears over time. or it could just bleed from having sex and something tore. maybe his dick was too big or you weren't lubricated well enough. there are many, many other possible reasons.

I know its normal for us to immediately jump to the conclusion of pregnancy, but a lot of times that isn't even the case.

see a doctor if you're still worried.

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Re: My First Time - October 17th 2016, 01:27 PM

I really think you should go see a doctor. You are clearly concerned and I think you should see a doctor even if it is just for your own peace of mind. I hope you feel better soon.

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Re: My First Time - October 17th 2016, 04:05 PM

If you haven't had sex before, the chances of you being pregnant and then miscarryimg are pretty slim. Plus, most women don't even show symptoms of pregnancy (eg sore boobs, nausea) until at least 4 or more weeks in and, typically, the first sign is a missed period. There are always exceptions though. If you're worried, you should follow up with a doctor.

Mostly, some women just bleed a lot after their first time. One of my friends had to wear a pad for a few days afterwards, for example, and while that is definitely excessive, it doesn't necesssrily mean anything is seriously wrong and it would understandably also be partnered with abdominal pain / vagimal-area pain because it probably means then stretching and reading of the hymen was pretty significant.

If you're really worried, the best thing to do

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Re: My First Time - October 23rd 2016, 10:49 PM

You said you had your period 4 days before the bleeding, right? So it doesn't seem like you could have been pregnant. Plus, (like everybody else has been saying) if that was your first time having sex, you probably weren't pregnant.
Also, I've occasionally experienced that when I'm on my period, my flow will just stop after a few days, leading me to believe that my period has ended. Then, it will start back up again randomly (I think within two days). I've had this happen several times, but I don't know if this could be what's happening to you since it was four days later.
The best option would probably be to talk with a doctor and get a professional opinion.
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