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Spanking/Anal Fetish - December 1st 2016, 02:46 AM

This thread has been labeled as non-PG13 by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for younger users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Ugh, I'm so pissed I'm making this thread. Not gonna lie, I grew up in an extremely Puritan (I guess that's an adjective) household. Obviously, this one's long.
So I know kinks and fetishes are natural in people, as long as they don't hurt anyone and everyone consents. And yes, spanking isn't that far out there, in fact it's pretty mainstream as far as fetishes go. But I'm trying to understand the psychology behind it for myself. Keep in mind, the fetish is me getting spanked, although I wouldn't mind the other way around. Actually, I've always had a thing for butts and anal in general, and part of my bisexuality is usually me taking a more submissive role. So for guys, I would probably be more versatile/bottom. I've done anal before, and the guy didn't know what the hell he was doing, so it hurt like crazy. And I mean it hurt bad, REALLY bad; NEVER do anal without lube. As for pegging (I don't want you damn kids looking that up that term, so I'll just tell you its when a woman does anal sex on a man with a strap-on dildo (fake penis)), I've never done it, and I've never even so much as kissed a girl before. So let's segue into my psychology...
I've never been seriously spanked, as far as my parents have told me. I seem to remember twice, but they probably weren't hard at all. This would have been at like 3-5 years old, and I would just get grounded. They used spanking up on my brothers and (ironically, lol) our priest told them they shouldn't do that to me. So it's never really happened to me.
I suck at talking to girls. I always have. I even suck at Tinder. My record of responses back is a grand total of 2; That's out of 5, possibly 6 girls (one might've deleted me ). I've always sucked at talking to girls, and I just can't be comfortable around them unless I'm literally jammed into a room with a girl one on one for a good deal of time, but that doesn't happen anymore. Just a side note, I've found it way easier to talk to gay guys. Anyway, I've had a lot of embarrassments when it comes to girls, and the only chances I've ever had to get a girlfriend were chances that I screwed up horribly. It was embarrassing on a number of levels. Me trying date a girl has always been embarrassing before, during, and after I (try to) make a move. I was made fun of to my face in middle school (I was called a faggot a lot) and I know people made fun of me in high school too behind my back. Is it possible that I want to get punished for this? For sucking at interacting with girls, is it possible that I want more humiliation? Does that even make sense? Is it possible that I'm trying to merge embarrassment with eroticism to help me cope? I have a hard time letting go of those memories. But sometimes when I masturbate, I fantasize about public humiliation, usually involving me getting spanked in front of people like all the girls who've rejected me. And the weird thing is, this doesn't get old. I'm pretty sexually fluid, I can get turned on by a lot of things, but I usually get bored of it and move on to something else when masturbating. But not this. And this is taking up a lot of my time, which I kinda need to get through college.
As for anal and pegging, its more submission. Especially for pegging, its STILL usually the girls who've rejected me. I've never really been rejected by a guy, so that hasn't come up as an issue.
Something I've come across though online, a lot of people I've found online (not interacted with) have actually ASKED their parents to spank them. I don't know why anyone would do this, because to me, spanking isn't about pain, it's about pure humiliation. But to them, it's about discipline. They tell stories about switching out grounding for spanking, even in their late teens. I don't know, to me, spanking is only sexual, so that sounds like an Oedipus Complex to me. But these people, they talk about it like its a bonding experience with their parents. They say its a totally normal, asexual thing. Then they talk about feeling better afterwards, like all their guilt is gone. One girl even talked about getting spanked in front of people, and it was so embarrassing that she was basically never embarrassed again, so skills like public speaking improved. This leads me to 2 points.
#1. One of my fantasies genuinely concerns me. Aside from the fantasies of me getting rejected, I have a recurring one regarding a teacher of mine who I was really close to who I even called 'mom' for awhile. GODDAMMIT. That sounds like a borderline Oedipus Complex to me. But my real mom, we're close, but I honestly don't like her all that much. I haven't told her I loved her in years. Is there something weird going on here?
And point #2. I've had a couple of curiosities about the whole "spanking solves problems" idea. I know that corporal punishment on kids basically has no proven positives, but if it's consensual on teenagers and adults, is that the same thing? All these people who said spanking helped asked for it. If say, I went to my old teacher and asked for a spanking (Goddammit, just typing that sent a weird shockwave through my body), could I actually move past some of my personality issues? Oh, I know she would say no. I wouldn't even try it, thats suicide. But say I did find somebody to do this, does anyone here think this would help me? I'm a psychology major, and honestly this sounds like bullshit, but I'm really desperate to move past my personality problems.

I barely even know where the questions are in this mess. I know it's long, but could anybody give me some ideas on this?


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Re: Spanking/Anal Fetish - December 1st 2016, 04:41 AM

Ok, just to clear something up, those people online probably have Oedipus Complexes. Its kinda obvious based on the comments. They're all talking about how much they love their parents, and asking weird shit about being spanked by their parents, like, "how old were you when this happened?" "was it bare-bottom?" and other weird, highly detailed stuff. Or maybe I'm just crazy. But it's a site where you're 'sharing experiences', I just think it's weird that it almost sounds like a circle jerk. There are other people on that site being spanked by their husbands and wives, so maybe thats different.


Wish I lived in Canada. UPDATE, NOV. 9th, 2016: This statement has become even more appropriate.
I vow that I will attack this endeavor with an enthusiasm unknown to mankind. Jim Harbaugh

"Being an adult sucks. The only positives are weed, sex, and cars, and I have none of those right now." -Me

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hatred cannot drive out hatred; only love can do that." -Martin Luther King Jr.
   
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Re: Spanking/Anal Fetish - December 3rd 2016, 12:31 AM

I don't know if I can answer your questions? I do know some people that have spanking parties once or twice a year and then they go to them outside of our hometown. They are really open about the things they are into though and are open about their open marriage.

Personally, I think that partaking in this fetish, if it's something you really like, might be something you'd enjoy but I don't know if it would change any of your personality issue or the troubles you have with girls.

Personally, I can relate to your inability to talk to the opposite sex. I am the same way. I mean, a few years ago I had crushes on two guys and they were both interested but I was too shy to initiate anything or even talk to them and they lost interest. However, for me online interaction was easy because the worst that could happen is they'd say something mean or not reply. Thing for me was that with online interaction it's likely I'll never run into 85% of the people I talk to. I've talked to a lot of guys online, I sent messages to a lot and the ones that weren't interested didn't respond and I have never seen any of them in public. If I have I don't remember them well enough. I think that trying to send some messages could help you deal more with your inability to talk to girls than anything else. You don't have to come up with a classy pickup line or, at least, I never did. I just asked them about something I read in their profile.

In general, I think being open about your sexuality and your fetishes can actually help people be more confident. The people I know that are into spanking parties are rather confident and don't give a crap what people think. Which, some people aren't too keen on their spanking parties.

Sorry if I didn't help. I just saw that you hadn't gotten any responses and thought I'd take a try.


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