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Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, and similar topics, ask here!

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RadioSerenade Offline
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Name: The Limelighter
Age: 24
Gender: Male
Location: Sydney.

Posts: 407
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Join Date: September 8th 2014

My Biggest Regret. (Long, but easy to read). - December 6th 2016, 11:09 AM

Sexuality is exceptionally complicated for me. Theoretically, in my mind, and for the lack of a better term, fantasies, I am bi-curious. However, in reality, whether or not I can do that to someone I admire, I somewhat doubt. I have never had sex before, but I would imagine I would be asking her "are you OK", a number of times throughout the night. I love her, and I do not want to hurt her in any way. I therefore think of myself as asexual.

I first started thinking about this four years ago, when in College (not what you guys would think of College, it is a pathway program), after a stint in the middle of a game of volleyball, I rested next to a table of boys who were discussing their sexual encounters with a particular girl. The conversations were extremely explicit, and they were sharing stories of what they had done to other girlfriends, also trying to get information about my own sex life, and although I cannot remember the conversation clearly, I thought that most if it must have been completely made-up to contribute to the discussion. I thought that for a number of minutes before I saw the girl in question. She was walking down the corridor of the main courtyard with her friends, towards the Administration building. I saw her from quite a way away, but she looked extremely beautiful.

She was foremost very well composed, and I realised that in her current state, in professional attire, in the middle of an academic environment, with her friends, she did not know she was taken advantage of and paraded like she was in that conversation. She looked like someone I would be more inclined to marry than have sex with.

My most impactful regret was not approaching her and telling her what the bloke had said. The loudest of the boys in question was evidently her partner at some point, and I abandoned the idea that he was just making it up. She trusted him, and he decided to share it with, effectively, 30 relative strangers. More people than those at the table could hear the conversation, the entire class was out for the game. Not in any committal sort of way, but just like a police officer, ask her come with me to another table or somewhere private, and let her know what I heard.

I do not like being in a partisan environment to begin with. I do not like living in NSW during the Origin series, because the entire state is turned blue. I hate living in Sydney during the NRL Finals because by the time the G.F. comes along, all of Sydney's media forms get behind a particular team, ideally the one with the most emotionally compelling story. I do not like being Australian during a home Ashes series, and seeing polls run asking what to call our strike bowler's "thunderbolts". "Chin music"? (If you understood any of those references, I love you deeply.)

Anyways. I do not like being a man in that sort of an environment, where sex and relationships are considered conversation starters. I just always think about that girl and whether approaching her would have been an insane idea.


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