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Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, and similar topics, ask here!

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acting101 Offline
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Preparing for first time & mastrubation - December 16th 2016, 11:48 PM

I'm 22 so I'm a bit of a late bloomer regarding sexual acts. I haven't done anything more than making out, but I have my first boyfriend of my adult life and eventually we're going to get to a point where sex is desired. He has been super supportive of my desire to take it slow but says he'd like to connect in that way one day. I'm sure I will too eventually?

I'm incredibly anxious when it comes to the idea of having sex, but I want to get over that in order to make him happy, because that will make me happy too.

I'm told that step 1 to being comfortable with sex is becoming comfortable with yourself, generally through masturbation. I've read plenty of how-to websites that are all very supportive and informative, but as soon as it gets to manual details I just tense up so much and just can't imagine ever doing that to myself. I'm sure it feels great but I just can't wrap my head around it.

Does anyone have any advice or things I could look into? Are there sex toys or something that offer incredibly hands-free but controlled stimulation? Or does someone have some encouraging words or a shared experience? I feel kind of stupid because this is supposed to be such a natural thing but it feels so foreign to me.
   
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Re: Preparing for first time & mastrubation - December 17th 2016, 12:21 AM

The first thing I'm going to suggest is to take the pressure off of yourself. The more you try to push this, the more stressed you'll be, which will only associate sex with stress and you don't really want to do that. Probably the most convenient thing I could suggest would be the shower, but it can use up a lot of water. If you can sit in the shower and direct the warm, not too hot water (from the shower head, not the faucet), to that area, it's a way to stimulate without having to touch yourself. Again though, it takes some time, and could use up a lot of water.


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Re: Preparing for first time & mastrubation - December 17th 2016, 04:48 AM

I am going through the same exact thing! My husband is very supportive and we are taking it very very slow. I think I need to take time to wrap my head around it too. I've put a lot of stress on myself about this and its just made it harder on me and I've been much more anxious. Just take your time, let yourself wrap around the idea mentally before you worry about physically. Take your time and trust yourself.


“Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?”

“It matters not what someone is born, but what they grow to be.”

~Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore
   
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Re: Preparing for first time & mastrubation - December 17th 2016, 02:28 PM

Hi there. Okay it sounds like ya ready for sex. but you partner is not ready yet. But you do wanna take the sex thing slow and steady. It also seems like u want this real bad. My first suggestion is to ask ur partner if he wants to if not then dont force it. Another thing when ur sexual attraction start growin and u cant have sex, try a vibartor. If you dont have the money for one u can make on with a speaker. Just pick a song with a bunch of base drops and have it on top of private part and that normally relaxes.


Hope that helps xx feel free to PM.

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