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Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, and similar topics, ask here!

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I had sex with my friend who's a guy. But I don't really think I'm gay? - December 28th 2016, 08:23 PM

My friend and I were watching porn which turned into masturbation. He started masturbating me and gibes me a blow job etc. We ended up having anal sex. We were watching lesbian porn. And I only really masturbate to lesbian porn. I jizzed several times while he was fucking me etc... And I enjoyed the whole experience basically... We've like texted or sexted and we want to do it again. But I feel like generally I just like cock really. I don't want to be with him and I don't want to make out with him. I've been sexually abused when I was 11/12 sort of I had sex with a guy who was 33 and I've always enjoyed like anal sex. I also was involved with a guy who's now gone off to college and that was all willing but it was kind of like right after the stuff with the first guy. But I fantasize about it with a girl. That's actually why I like lesbian porn. Because I fantasize about being the girl being like fucked. I don't see myself as female though. Does that make me gay? I am actually seeing a girl. I generally would prefer a hot girl strap on than a guy though. I'm 14 BTW now. Advice?

I'm also feeling guilty I did it with my friend because I am christian and I was recently adopted by a really religious evangelical christian traditional family and I just want to be normal. And in part I guess I'm weak by giving into my sexual urges.


Am I gay bi or straight? Or what's wrong with me? Could it be because of the sexual abuse?

Last edited by .:Bibliophile:.; December 29th 2016 at 02:00 AM. Reason: Adding a prefix
   
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Re: I had sex with my friend who's a guy. But I don't really think I'm gay? - December 28th 2016, 10:29 PM

I don't have dreams about guys or want a relationship with one. And ideally I don't want to have sex with guys in general I just like anal sex... That's why its confusing for me.
   
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Re: I had sex with my friend who's a guy. But I don't really think I'm gay? - December 29th 2016, 02:19 AM

Hey there.
First off, it's totally okay to be confused and a lot of people experience that so you are not alone.
I can't tell you what your orientation is, and that is something that will probably become more clear to you with more time and more experience.
Labels are also kind of limiting and not everyone identifies with any specific label, just something to keep in mind.
There are different types of attraction and it's also possible to enjoy the act of sex without feeling particularly attracted to the person.
I know I'm not being very helpful, it's different for everyone and I think as long as you are okay with who you are and how you feel, then it's all good, and I think in time you will figure out more about yourself. You are young, so you have time.
In regards to the abuse, I know you weren't really asking about that, but I just wanted to ask if you reported that and make sure that the abuser is not still around in your life or still a threat to you.
Also, there's really no such thing as "normal" and you don't ever have to feel guilty about your feelings!!
Maybe do have a talk with your friend if you haven't already and make sure he understands that you are not looking for a relationship with him because you don't want any misunderstanding to occur.
Best of luck, feel free to message me if you ever want someone to talk to!


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Re: I had sex with my friend who's a guy. But I don't really think I'm gay? - December 29th 2016, 04:17 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by eeba View Post
Hey there.
First off, it's totally okay to be confused and a lot of people experience that so you are not alone.
I can't tell you what your orientation is, and that is something that will probably become more clear to you with more time and more experience.
Labels are also kind of limiting and not everyone identifies with any specific label, just something to keep in mind.
There are different types of attraction and it's also possible to enjoy the act of sex without feeling particularly attracted to the person.
I know I'm not being very helpful, it's different for everyone and I think as long as you are okay with who you are and how you feel, then it's all good, and I think in time you will figure out more about yourself. You are young, so you have time.
In regards to the abuse, I know you weren't really asking about that, but I just wanted to ask if you reported that and make sure that the abuser is not still around in your life or still a threat to you.
Also, there's really no such thing as "normal" and you don't ever have to feel guilty about your feelings!!
Maybe do have a talk with your friend if you haven't already and make sure he understands that you are not looking for a relationship with him because you don't want any misunderstanding to occur.
Best of luck, feel free to message me if you ever want someone to talk to!
I never felt threatened by him I actually wanted to live with him after my and her bf got arrested and my brother kind of ran off. But I wasn't allowed to. And now I'm thankful for that because I love the family I'm apart of now anyhow more than I would have with him. He did drugs and Id probably have gotten addicted myself if I'd have lived with him long term it would be a wrong. Not the type of life I'd like to live now.
   
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Re: I had sex with my friend who's a guy. But I don't really think I'm gay? - December 29th 2016, 04:41 AM

I'm really glad that you love the family you are part of now, and you're right it doesn't sound like that would have been a healthy environment.


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Re: I had sex with my friend who's a guy. But I don't really think I'm gay? - December 29th 2016, 08:03 AM

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I'm really glad that you love the family you are part of now, and you're right it doesn't sound like that would have been a healthy environment.
Yeah my life at my birthcamilys wasn't healthy either. I'm trying to get past that and live a cleaner life. But I guess sometimes I make mistakes like with my friend etc...
   
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Re: I had sex with my friend who's a guy. But I don't really think I'm gay? - December 29th 2016, 12:21 PM

Everyone makes mistakes, don't beat yourself up.
If you both enjoyed it though (and were safe about it) then it's not necessarily a mistake. How does your friend feel?


"All will be well when the day is done"
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Re: I had sex with my friend who's a guy. But I don't really think I'm gay? - December 29th 2016, 07:35 PM

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Originally Posted by eeba View Post
Everyone makes mistakes, don't beat yourself up.
If you both enjoyed it though (and were safe about it) then it's not necessarily a mistake. How does your friend feel?
He did use a condom I don't like unprotected sex tbh...

I think we're both bisexual with female preference.

He wants to do it again. I told him today to not count on it happening again.

We're still good friends we have that understanding neither want a relationship or anything. It was simply expirenenting and I think I'm done with it now.
   
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Re: I had sex with my friend who's a guy. But I don't really think I'm gay? - January 1st 2017, 02:18 AM

I'm glad to hear you used protection and also really glad that the two of you have an understanding


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Re: I had sex with my friend who's a guy. But I don't really think I'm gay? - January 2nd 2017, 04:51 AM

You honestly sound a lot like me. You did it with your friend, watch lesbian porn, and you even have the strap-on thing it sounds like. If the parallels continue, you're probably bisexual.
If your new parents don't like your sexuality, then it's tough shit for them, because they're wrong. They don't have a leg to stand on in any argument, even a religious one.


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Re: I had sex with my friend who's a guy. But I don't really think I'm gay? - January 2nd 2017, 06:16 AM

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I'm glad to hear you used protection and also really glad that the two of you have an understanding
Yeah I guess thats one thing we did right.
   
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Re: I had sex with my friend who's a guy. But I don't really think I'm gay? - January 2nd 2017, 06:20 AM

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Originally Posted by MichWolverineFreak View Post
You honestly sound a lot like me. You did it with your friend, watch lesbian porn, and you even have the strap-on thing it sounds like. If the parallels continue, you're probably bisexual.
If your new parents don't like your sexuality, then it's tough shit for them, because they're wrong. They don't have a leg to stand on in any argument, even a religious one.


Yeah I have a female preference still I don't want to be in a relationship with a guy or anything. I think my whole pro Len is more like a lack of resources which is why I don't want anything g to do with my friend in any sense.

My parents have really been really good to me and plus I'm not gay so they don't have to ever know. I don't think it'll ever come up since I don't date guys or anything so yea... Anyhow thanks for the advice.
   
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