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MadHatter77 Offline
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Cuck fetish? - December 30th 2016, 04:44 AM

I've posted her before about my cuckold fetish...

my girlfriend and I decided together we were prepared to go through with it only a few nights ago.

Now that it's actually occurred, I'm dealing with a lot of conflicting emotions and a lot of insecurity. I wasn't comfortable with parts of what happened, and feel like I'm in shock.
   
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Re: Cuck fetish? - December 30th 2016, 11:38 AM

Experimentation is healthy to do, sometimes when we try new activities it can be really fun or not so fun. It sounds like something happened while you were watching or partaking in.

Are you able to talk with your girlfriend about how you are feeling, what happened that made you uncomfortable? It sounds like you don't want to do this activity anymore, which is completely okay.

Do you have a plan in talking to your girlfriend about this? If you are unsure how to talk to her about it, we can give you some suggestions on how to do that.

I've read your last thread and you named a few important things. You are worried that you may regret it and unable to take it back, that others will view it weird or society will do the same. There are many different fetishes out there, many who partake in cuckhold fetishes, it's not a fetish to be set aside and put hurtful names onto it. A fetish is a fetish, it's something you enjoy in doing. You are exploring your sexuality with your girlfriend and trying different things together.


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Re: Cuck fetish? - December 30th 2016, 06:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by WretatsyRemedial View Post
Experimentation is healthy to do, sometimes when we try new activities it can be really fun or not so fun. It sounds like something happened while you were watching or partaking in.

Are you able to talk with your girlfriend about how you are feeling, what happened that made you uncomfortable? It sounds like you don't want to do this activity anymore, which is completely okay.

Do you have a plan in talking to your girlfriend about this? If you are unsure how to talk to her about it, we can give you some suggestions on how to do that.

I've read your last thread and you named a few important things. You are worried that you may regret it and unable to take it back, that others will view it weird or society will do the same. There are many different fetishes out there, many who partake in cuckhold fetishes, it's not a fetish to be set aside and put hurtful names onto it. A fetish is a fetish, it's something you enjoy in doing. You are exploring your sexuality with your girlfriend and trying different things together.
1. Yes. Parts of it were as much fun as I expected them to be, and I really, really enjoyed aspects of it. However, I feel like we didn't set enough boundaries, and boundaries were not as well respected as they should have been. His communication was awful.

2. I did talk to her a little bit, but felt like I didn't explain myself very well. I'm not against doing it again sometime in the future but for right now I feel hurt and embarrassed.

3. Honestly, I don't really have a plan to discuss it.

4. True, but "cuck" is rarely used in a positive context these days, and I'm concerned about WHY that is.
   
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Re: Cuck fetish? - December 30th 2016, 09:29 PM

Hey, there! I don't remember your thread, but I am glad you decided to reach out to us again.

I cannot stress enough how important communication is! Even just talking about it in passing isn't enough. You and your partner might have decided that you want to go through with it, but communication needs to persist from a sit-down discussion all the way to the activity itself. Saying "no" even is an important aspect of communication, or any safe word you decide on.

I think everyone perceives fetishes differently, what may be norm or enjoyable for you might be disgusting and frowned upon by someone else. I think in some aspect, such as same-sex and interracial, those don't even apply these days. They applied back in the 80s when STD and stuff were unknown and brand new, but today they're just like anything else, you know? It's generally a societal norm thing, but that does not make you disgusting or sick. You and your girlfriend gave it a try, now you know it isn't for you. I think it's important you communicate with her, communication is important even after trying something new sexually. Tell her how you're feeling and try to gauge what she is feeling or thinking.
   
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Re: Cuck fetish? - December 31st 2016, 01:31 PM

It is good to hear that you did enjoy it that is really important. If you didn't enjoy it then it might have been different. Communication is hard for many people, sometimes what helps is to write down what you want to happen, what you do not want to happen, and having an understanding of "safe words" where the other parties are aware they are stepping over boundaries.

If you decided to do this again, as you expressed you want to but not now cause you are hurt. During this time you could write down things you want to bring up with both your girlfriend and the other party. You can also set boundaries and limitations. When you do set boundaries and limitations you need to ask your girlfriend to write the same thing and then both of you bringing those together. It might be interesting to see that.

Did you want to talk about the hurting feelings and embarrassed? You can always PM me or reply here, which ever is most comfortable for you. You don't need to talk about it, it is there if you do want to talk about it.

A lot of fetishes aren't talked about because usually people don't talk about it risking being judged or called different. Other fetishes society knows about and they are talked about. That doesn't matter, what matters is you enjoy these activities, these are things that you like sexually, there isn't anything wrong with that.


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Re: Cuck fetish? - December 31st 2016, 05:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by WretatsyRemedial View Post
It is good to hear that you did enjoy it that is really important. If you didn't enjoy it then it might have been different. Communication is hard for many people, sometimes what helps is to write down what you want to happen, what you do not want to happen, and having an understanding of "safe words" where the other parties are aware they are stepping over boundaries.

If you decided to do this again, as you expressed you want to but not now cause you are hurt. During this time you could write down things you want to bring up with both your girlfriend and the other party. You can also set boundaries and limitations. When you do set boundaries and limitations you need to ask your girlfriend to write the same thing and then both of you bringing those together. It might be interesting to see that.

Did you want to talk about the hurting feelings and embarrassed? You can always PM me or reply here, which ever is most comfortable for you. You don't need to talk about it, it is there if you do want to talk about it.

A lot of fetishes aren't talked about because usually people don't talk about it risking being judged or called different. Other fetishes society knows about and they are talked about. That doesn't matter, what matters is you enjoy these activities, these are things that you like sexually, there isn't anything wrong with that.
As a whole, the experience was a very mixed bag for me, as I felt like somethings went "too far", while others were extremely interesting, fun, and exciting for me. Although writing things down is an excellent tip for future reference, unfortunately it's not retroactive.

We did not have enough discussion with the third party. My girlfriend arranged a majority of it as a surprise, and so by the time things were starting up I didn't feel like we had enough time to explain boundaries to him, and got caught up in the moment.

I DO feel hurt and embarrassed, mostly because of his actions and her reactions. I don't want to be overly graphic, but it's difficult to explain my feelings without explaining what happened...

I appreciate that.
   
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Re: Cuck fetish? - December 31st 2016, 05:06 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaleidoscope. View Post
Hey, there! I don't remember your thread, but I am glad you decided to reach out to us again.

I cannot stress enough how important communication is! Even just talking about it in passing isn't enough. You and your partner might have decided that you want to go through with it, but communication needs to persist from a sit-down discussion all the way to the activity itself. Saying "no" even is an important aspect of communication, or any safe word you decide on.

I think everyone perceives fetishes differently, what may be norm or enjoyable for you might be disgusting and frowned upon by someone else. I think in some aspect, such as same-sex and interracial, those don't even apply these days. They applied back in the 80s when STD and stuff were unknown and brand new, but today they're just like anything else, you know? It's generally a societal norm thing, but that does not make you disgusting or sick. You and your girlfriend gave it a try, now you know it isn't for you. I think it's important you communicate with her, communication is important even after trying something new sexually. Tell her how you're feeling and try to gauge what she is feeling or thinking.
I suppose that's one of the biggest issues... that once things had begun to happen I didn't feel entirely comfortable saying "no", and thus why I regret not setting a greater volume of firm boundaries.
   
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Re: Cuck fetish? - January 2nd 2017, 08:01 PM

While trying to talk to her about it, I feel like I don't express myself well and I come off as being accusatory instead of hurt. I really am not having an easy time with this.
   
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Re: Cuck fetish? - January 2nd 2017, 08:34 PM

I'm sorry you are having a difficult time communicating your feelings to the girlfriend. Perhaps you can write an email or a letter and send/hand it to her instead? That way, you won't be feeling put on the spot like you would when you're actually speaking to her.
   
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Re: Cuck fetish? - January 2nd 2017, 08:41 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaleidoscope. View Post
I'm sorry you are having a difficult time communicating your feelings to the girlfriend. Perhaps you can write an email or a letter and send/hand it to her instead? That way, you won't be feeling put on the spot like you would when you're actually speaking to her.
That isn't a bad idea.

I suppose more than anything, I feel embarrassed and emasculated by the way she was treated, and by the fact that I was too scared to speak up at the time.
   
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