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Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, and similar topics, ask here!

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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About getting the pill - January 13th 2017, 06:24 AM

I've been wanting my own form of contraception for a long time now, mostly because I don't trust condoms (especially after one broke the last time I had sex) but also to make my periods more bearable and (fingers crossed!) possibly make my breasts grow.

I think that an IUD would be the best match for me, simply because the responsibility of remembering to take a pill every day is terrifying to me. However, I've heard a lot of mixed reviews about it and, since I still don't know for sure how my body will react to the hormones, I think it would really suck to have something implanted in my body and not be able to deal with the possible weight gain or acne.
It would be much easier to stop with the pill, so I think trying that first would probably be the best idea. :/

Now, some facts...
I am 18, but still on a family insurance plan.
I live in California, so no prescription is necessary to get it from the pharmacy.
I do have my own insurance card with me, but again, it's still under my family's plan.

In the past, my parents have said that if I ever want to get birth control, I can just tell them and they'll help me get it. (Though they would "strongly prefer for me to wait until marriage to have sex." Whoops.)
However, knowing my strict Christian family, if I were to put myself in the unbearably awkward position of telling them I want birth control -- even if I just said it was for period cramps or some shit -- I would get an inevitable talk about the importance of sex and they'd want to know who it is and blah blah blah. I don't care about their religious values on sex, and as a rape victim the last thing I need to hear is how "meaningful" sex is supposed to be, because it's very rare that I can see it that way.
Also, judging by how they act when I politely decline going to church with them, I get the feeling they would act extremely passive aggressive towards me, knowing that I was taking the pill and probably having sex too.

Long story short, it would just be much easier on me if I could do this without them.

But I have absolutely no idea how insurance plans work and all that, so I need some help. I just barely figured out how my checking account will work while still "attached" to my parents account (do you get the feeling that I do a lot of things behind their back now?), and I have no idea if insurance plans are like that at all or what.

So, since I have my insurance card on me, but am a "child" on a family plan, will my parents be able to see that it's covering birth control for me?
I'm under the impression that even with insurance, I'll still have to pay $15-50 bucks for the pill set monthly. So it's not like it'll come back as some transaction, right? Where it'll show exactly what our insurance was used for?
Also, something that scares me is the rumors of the Affordable Care Act being taken down or something, when Trump becomes president? I really only get the media fed version of things, and then ask my conservative parents for clarification (both of which views are biased, obviously). But I never asked them about whether Trump is going to get rid of birth control or make it higher priced or anything, because sex has always been this kind of "no-no" subject in our house.
So would it be no use to try and get on the pill now, if it's just going to annihilated when he comes into office? Or is there any verdict on that?

If any of that made sense, those are my top worries. Mostly just if my parents will be able to know that I'm purchasing birth control through the insurance plan.

Thanks for reading~


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Re: About getting the pill - January 13th 2017, 08:17 AM

Thank you for writing. Is it true you can purchase birth control pills in California without a prescription?

I know there are different variations on the pill, so if one causes problems you can try switching to a different one.

A doctor would like to see if you can tolerate BC pills first before going for an implant. (The implant is great. I know someone who's had it for a few years now.)

I know someone who had an IUD and the only problem she reported was it made the cramping during her periods worse, and during periods she reported feeling the IUD "move back and forth".

There's also a depo shot. Again a doctor would want to make sure you do OK on BC pills first, (as there's no way to undo a shot once it's injected).

Dealing with conservative religious parents is hard. Not every church is conservative. Some Christian churches are liberal progressive. Maybe you could shop around and find one. Might appease your parents somewhat to know you are at least going to A church, even if it's not their church.

I understand your desire to keep your sex life private, especially from them. (Probably helps them too. Ignorance is bliss.)

Sorry I'm not sure how the insurance thing works for your particular situation.

No one knows what Trump will do. I do best if I don't think about it. I know there are a lot of very worried people both in the US and around the world. They are making all sorts of contingency plans. I let them worry and work on plans. I would only make myself sick if I worried too.

I do know Trump has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, which pretty much explains everything he says and does. (There's YouTube videos explaining NPD and Trump.) Trump is actually very insecure inside, which is why he can not tolerate anyone criticising him. He also wants to always be the center of attention, loves the camera, loves approval, but his need is insatiable.

I haven't heard that BC pills make one's breasts grow. I have heard they help with periods. (Period may stop altogether, making one wonder if they are pregnant. Ironic I know.)

BC pills may be cheap, since they are so common and generic now (any pill that was invented more than 20 years ago goes generic, and the price drops way down.)

Have confidence your spiritual path is a valid one too. Check out M. Scott Peck's four stages of spiritual growth: 1. Chaos. 2. Conservative religion (obey the God cop in the sky). 3. Atheism. 4. Spiritual religion (liberal progressive).

One last thing I recently read, researchers say they can accurately predict if a person is a Republican (conservative) or Democrat (progressive) from a MRI scan of their brain. Conservatives have a larger Amigdala. That's the fear center of their brain. Means they are more fearful. (They probably get a good dose of fear each week at church.)

Oh and since you are not religious, I can tell you the secret behind the Jesus story: There is no evidence that Jesus ever existed. No one mentions him during that time. Also the outline of the Jesus story and his travels during his one year ministry parallels the annual journey of the sun through the 12 zodiac constellations and the corresponding seasons of the year. Story starts with Jesus being baptised; the sun is in Aquarius. Jesus then visits two fishermen; the sun moves through Pisces, the two fish. The parallels continue. Jesus transfiguration, where he shines the brightest; the sun at the summer solstice, longest day of the year. Story goes downhill from there, as we move to Autumn and shorter colder days. Eventually Jesus dies, as the sun figuratively dies on the winter solstice, Dec. 22. Then Jesus is resurrected 3 days later, on Christmas day, when the days become detectably longer again. The story abruptly ends, because the story is circular, just as the seasons are circular, and ancient calendars are circular.

This is also why the Jesus story is found all over the world long before the alleged time of Jesus. (The story originated in Egypt 1500 years before his time.)

But I digress. Sex can be anything from superficial to deeply meaningful, just as relationships can be anything from superficial to deeply meaningful. Beware of a fear that says all sex MUST be deeply meaningful. With that kind of fear you'll never attain a deep relationship or deeply meaningful sex. (Ironic, isn't it?)

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Re: About getting the pill - January 13th 2017, 03:06 PM

If you're on your parent's insurance, they get a copy of your claims (a list of times you used insurance for anything, mostly it'll be medication, appointments, lab tests, etc, I believe it does list the name of the medications, the name and credential of the person you saw/who prescribed the medication, and the amount of the copay (the amount you pay before insurance pays the rest). The only reason I'm glad I'm not on my dad's plan anymore. I was a grown woman (you age off at 26), having my dad call to check on me if anything looked "suspicious" Hello, I would tell you if something bad happened, I don't want you to know I'm seeing a therapist(which he wanted to know the reason for), and I'm an adult, my health is not your business anymore. That and every time he decided to quit his job because he "hated" his boss, or some other immature reason, my coverage got changed and I had no say. If you can get coverage another way, it's an option, but an extremely limited one because they figure that you'll just stay on your parent's as long as possible, so your plans would be limited.


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Re: About getting the pill - January 13th 2017, 04:56 PM

The current ACA mandates that there is no copay on birth control pills. Which means that insurance covers the cost of BC completely, you pay nothing out of pocket. If the ACA if repealed, they will go back to having a copay, which was about $10/month for me. So, I hope that clears up what will happen when it comes to that. In my personal opinion, there is no need to panic about it. The media loves to blow things out of proportion.

Your parents will receive a copy of all medications that are purchased through insurance. They are typically monthly or quarterly letters that come in the mail and they list every medication that everyone in the family has received in that time frame. They need it for for their tax information, so it will come to them. It will probably be best to just be upfront with them about it. That way there is no surprises. They may be more understanding than you think. They already told you that they would help you get birth control, so I think that's a positive sign!

Any type of birth control you get will appear on insurance information, whether it is birth control pills, the shot, the implant, etc. So picking a different type will not change the situation. I hope that clears up some confusion, please feel free to ask more questions if you have them!




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Re: About getting the pill - January 14th 2017, 01:29 AM

I am still on my dad's plan and the only thing that comes to our house is an EOB (Explanation of benefits) from my therapist and psychiatrist. Nothing else ever comes to the house. He never gets anything about what medications I am on or if I go to the gynecologist/primary care doctor etc. The only information my dad gets is the information that I supply to him. It might be different with your insurance but that has been my experience.


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Re: About getting the pill - January 14th 2017, 09:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by del677 View Post
Thank you for writing. Is it true you can purchase birth control pills in California without a prescription?

I know there are different variations on the pill, so if one causes problems you can try switching to a different one.

Dealing with conservative religious parents is hard. Not every church is conservative. Some Christian churches are liberal progressive. Maybe you could shop around and find one. Might appease your parents somewhat to know you are at least going to A church, even if it's not their church.

I understand your desire to keep your sex life private, especially from them. (Probably helps them too. Ignorance is bliss.)

I do know Trump has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, which pretty much explains everything he says and does. (There's YouTube videos explaining NPD and Trump.) Trump is actually very insecure inside, which is why he can not tolerate anyone criticising him. He also wants to always be the center of attention, loves the camera, loves approval, but his need is insatiable.

I haven't heard that BC pills make one's breasts grow. I have heard they help with periods. (Period may stop altogether, making one wonder if they are pregnant. Ironic I know.)

BC pills may be cheap, since they are so common and generic now (any pill that was invented more than 20 years ago goes generic, and the price drops way down.)

Have confidence your spiritual path is a valid one too. Check out M. Scott Peck's four stages of spiritual growth: 1. Chaos. 2. Conservative religion (obey the God cop in the sky). 3. Atheism. 4. Spiritual religion (liberal progressive).

One last thing I recently read, researchers say they can accurately predict if a person is a Republican (conservative) or Democrat (progressive) from a MRI scan of their brain. Conservatives have a larger Amigdala. That's the fear center of their brain. Means they are more fearful. (They probably get a good dose of fear each week at church.)

Oh and since you are not religious, I can tell you the secret behind the Jesus story: There is no evidence that Jesus ever existed. No one mentions him during that time. Also the outline of the Jesus story and his travels during his one year ministry parallels the annual journey of the sun through the 12 zodiac constellations and the corresponding seasons of the year. Story starts with Jesus being baptised; the sun is in Aquarius. Jesus then visits two fishermen; the sun moves through Pisces, the two fish. The parallels continue. Jesus transfiguration, where he shines the brightest; the sun at the summer solstice, longest day of the year. Story goes downhill from there, as we move to Autumn and shorter colder days. Eventually Jesus dies, as the sun figuratively dies on the winter solstice, Dec. 22. Then Jesus is resurrected 3 days later, on Christmas day, when the days become detectably longer again. The story abruptly ends, because the story is circular, just as the seasons are circular, and ancient calendars are circular.

This is also why the Jesus story is found all over the world long before the alleged time of Jesus. (The story originated in Egypt 1500 years before his time.)

But I digress. Sex can be anything from superficial to deeply meaningful, just as relationships can be anything from superficial to deeply meaningful. Beware of a fear that says all sex MUST be deeply meaningful. With that kind of fear you'll never attain a deep relationship or deeply meaningful sex. (Ironic, isn't it?)
Yes, it is true that we can get birth control without a prescription. My psych professor last year actually announced it to us and gave out handouts on how to get it now.

About the church thing, I really don't give a shit about their political views. In fact, I have pretty similar views with them, though I'm more in the middle than on the far right. (For example, I'm 100% for abortion being legal while they're 100% against it.) I actually wanted Trump to win, just the only thing that scared me about him was the ACA.
What bothers me about the church is just the religion itself, and being almost forced to participate in it or be bullied at home for not participating. So finding another church wouldn't help, especially if they were to find out it was a liberal church, and then hate me for yet another label.

I think conservatives are more cautious rather than fearful. From what I've seen, liberals often seem more impulsive, going off of emotion. Which may be why more millennials are also liberals, these days, because the part of the brain that controls weighing out the consequences (I forget the exact name of it, my bad) doesn't fully develop until we're in our 20's. Just some food for thought. I think that most liberals truly do care for the people of our country, just they don't think of what might realistically happen to our economy if we provide for every single person who illegally immigrates. I think that conservatives want what's best for all people too, they just want to achieve it in a different way.

Thank you for the response, it helped! And yes, I realize that sex can have a different value depending on the situation. However, after losing my virginity (which I grew up being taught was worth more than gold) in a rape, I just struggle to see the point of people thinking that every two people who have sex experience some type of bond or something. It's amazing how much of life as I, and a lot of people, know it is just religious crap and propaganda we've been forced to perceive as truth.

Quote:
Originally Posted by PaganMama View Post
The current ACA mandates that there is no copay on birth control pills. Which means that insurance covers the cost of BC completely, you pay nothing out of pocket. If the ACA if repealed, they will go back to having a copay, which was about $10/month for me. So, I hope that clears up what will happen when it comes to that. In my personal opinion, there is no need to panic about it. The media loves to blow things out of proportion.

Your parents will receive a copy of all medications that are purchased through insurance. They are typically monthly or quarterly letters that come in the mail and they list every medication that everyone in the family has received in that time frame. They need it for for their tax information, so it will come to them. It will probably be best to just be upfront with them about it. That way there is no surprises. They may be more understanding than you think. They already told you that they would help you get birth control, so I think that's a positive sign!

Any type of birth control you get will appear on insurance information, whether it is birth control pills, the shot, the implant, etc. So picking a different type will not change the situation. I hope that clears up some confusion, please feel free to ask more questions if you have them!
Oh okay, that helps a lot! Yeah, the media honestly disgusts me.

Ugh, okay, I figured it would come down to this. I just have no idea how to ever approach them with topics like this.
I've been thinking about this for much longer before and I've been complaining to my mom about "heavy periods" and "extreme cramps" for awhile now. After having to go the doctor and also get an ultrasound for what I told my mom was just horrible cramps (the pain was real, but the doctor said it could also be condom allergies or something), I think I've legitimized the "hella painful periods" story.
So I've been thinking of just telling them it's to help make my periods less painful and hopefully save me from some of the awkwardness of that conversation. I just don't know how to bring myself to start talking about it. :/

Thank you for all the responses, it's helped a lot so far!!


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Re: About getting the pill - January 16th 2017, 08:49 AM

Thank you. Good points.

BC pills help acne, cramps, heavy flow, and that's all the non-sex reasons I could find.

I also found this link:
https://www.bedsider.org/features/27...alth-insurance

Hope that helps.
   
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