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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Oceanfrank Offline
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Exclamation Pressured into sending nudes - May 21st 2017, 01:03 AM

I really don't want any judgement for the mistake that I made because I already feel terrible about it and incredibly stupid. But, I've been talking to this boy for a while who I began to really trust but he kept pressuring me to him pictures over snapchat.

I felt comfortable with him and slowly sent more and more "personal" type photos and received a lot of encouragement from him and felt really secure. But then, he asked me to send him a completely naked photo, and because I thought that I slowly built up to this level of trust, I did (stupid I know)

Anyway, I felt literally sick when I saw that he'd screenshot the photo. He's never done this before, but now I realise that he was just slowly persuading me to send more explicit pictures so that he could do this. I'm really freaking out, because although my face isn't in the picture, I think there are a lot of things in the photo which could possibly identify me.

I feel really certain that he's going to send the image to all his friends, and I don't know whether I should message him and ask him not to, or if it is a lost cause at this point and I should just block him and hope to get rid of any evidence that the picture is of me.

So sorry for the reply long message, would love some advice ASAP I'm really concerned. Thank you
   
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Re: Pressured into sending nudes - May 21st 2017, 01:21 AM

What you did is illegal because you're underage. It was wrong of him the pressure you, but you're old enough to understand that this was wrong. I strongly suggest you report this because IF you are identified, you could be in big trouble as well. Even though you were pressured, you're an underage person who sent nudes. That's against the law and can have severe consequences. Once you put that out on the internet, it's there forever. Somewhere. Like I said previously, I highly suggest you report this. Being honest about it is the best thing you can do at thid point. I'm sorry to sound stern, but this has big consequences.


   
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Re: Pressured into sending nudes - May 21st 2017, 02:26 AM

If you built such a level of trust with him, you should be able to ask him to delete it. While I agree with Jessica that yes this is illegal, don't become even more worried about that side of the issue because there's a very slim chance it will come to that. Just ask him to delete it and if he refuses, you should report him. Don't worry about any consequences on your part, you're the victim here so they should not worry about what you did but what this guy did. If you could ask to speak with a female officer if that would make you more comfortable, absolutely go for it. I hope everything turns out well for you, send me a PM anytime if you need to talk!




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Re: Pressured into sending nudes - May 21st 2017, 07:09 AM

You'll be fine.

Don't fret.

Everything will be OK.

Men are like that. I'm sorry.

I should say, some men are like that. They want to see your body. It's just a primal urge they have. Be grateful you're attractive and men desire you!

And rest assured it's normal for attraction to go both ways. It's normal for teenagers to do these kinds of things. They do it all the time.

And we all "catastrophize" and think the worst, when most likely what will happen is, this boy just lost his reputation, as you're not going to trust him anymore, and any female friend you happen to tell also won't trust him anymore. You don't have to give any details, just that you don't trust him anymore, because he did something. He probably thinks he's hot stuff and has an easy way of working it with the girls, but things have a way of naturally balancing themselves out, and he's about to find you aren't going to be talking to him anymore, and not only that, none of your female friends are going to be talking to him either because they won't trust him either (even if they don't know the details), and he's going to find what goes around comes around.

A man who breaks a woman's trust, and treats her body not like a sacred object, but instead passes a photo of it around like a trophy, well that man gains a reputation for being, well, that kind of a man. The woman just gains a reputation for being beautiful.

It's what's in our heart that matters. It's normal to have desires. If you have a good heart to go along with the desires, that's precious.
   
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Re: Pressured into sending nudes - May 22nd 2017, 12:05 PM

My advice would be NOT to send nude or partly nude to photos to anyone no matter who.they are or how much you trust them, Once you send pix over the internet you have lost control of them, also the same goes for "sex-texting"
If your BF thinks enough of you he will force or blackmail you into sending any type of nude photos.
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Re: Pressured into sending nudes - May 22nd 2017, 01:59 PM

You'll be okay. Don't worry.
   
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Re: Pressured into sending nudes - May 23rd 2017, 02:28 AM

I am so sorry that this happened to you. I haven't been in the same boat as you but I have sent nudes before. Both when I was under 18 and above eighteen. I know you are worried but honestly there is nothing you can do about it. Next time don't do it, no matter how much trust you have with the person.
]


Quote:
Originally Posted by merideth7 View Post
What you did is illegal because you're underage. It was wrong of him the pressure you, but you're old enough to understand that this was wrong. I strongly suggest you report this because IF you are identified, you could be in big trouble as well. Even though you were pressured, you're an underage person who sent nudes. That's against the law and can have severe consequences. Once you put that out on the internet, it's there forever. Somewhere. Like I said previously, I highly suggest you report this. Being honest about it is the best thing you can do at thid point. I'm sorry to sound stern, but this has big consequences.
Yes she is right it is illegal but don't worry about that. Also I would not report it because if you end up reporting that he has your photo you are going to get into a lot of trouble yourself. Because you distributed child porn. I think you should just ask him to delete it and if he wont there isn't much you can do about it. I will say that it is good that you do not have your face in it that is good, but it shouldn't have been done at all.

Like I said I have done this when I was around 15 years old. If you ever need to talk I am here for you. I thought it would come back and haunt me but it hasn't. No body has said they have found my pictures or anything and mine had my face in some of them.

All I can say is learn from your mistakes. Even if you trust the person and you are in a relationship I wouldn't do it. Once the photo gets out of your hands you have no control of it.

Your friend,
Essa


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We may be picking up the pieces here on after,
We are fragile, we are human,
We are shaped by the light we let through us,
We break fast, cause we are glass.
Cause we are glass.
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