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Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, and similar topics, ask here!

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Gabriela657 Offline
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Post Relations with my brother. - June 5th 2017, 12:47 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Okay okay, I know the first thought by anyone is that I'm only a troll. But I'm not. I need real help, that's why I came here.

My name is Gabbie, I'm 18, and I have a brother, who is 14. About 2 months ago, he revealed to me that he had a problem. Apparently he had excess penis growth and didn't know why. He showed it to me, and yes of course, it was bigger than what I've ever seen. He asked me to measure it, and I did, because I care as a sibling. He pulled out at 12.5 inches erect and 6" around in girth, which is, after I researched, very abnormal for a male his age. I couldn't even grasp my fingers around it.
We toyed with the idea of taking him to the doctor, but we really weren't sure if they took care of things of that nature. We hadn't even told our mother, just out of fear. It wasn't bothering him much, he's circumcised and it was just the occasional boner slip and tight underclothes.
But, as young boys do, he's going through puberty and hormones and realizing his sexual needs. Turns out, he has been "jelquing" to make his penis bigger, and just learned how to masterbate from a friend. As his needs got higher, he started becoming bolder in revealing himself to me, and to other girls.
Now, I'm mature, it's not bad to see a penis, especially one so gifted. Even with my own brother, I would compliment him on it, though warned that it might cause problems in the future. As long as that was it, I was fine.
But after so many times, and his constant wanting to update me on it, it's become tempting. My boyfriend Jamie is three times smaller, and a long distance away. I haven't been sexually active since high school.

I want to help him, but keeping things normal and within boundaries. In a way, I'd be teaching him for future reference, and we're family, so nothing would happen.

I'm asking for a honest opinion. If you want to hate me, that's fine, I understand. But I want help.

And before anyone calls me a copycat, I've talked wih Lizzy herself, a user who's had the same problem. Her posting about it had pushed me to do the same. I think this type of situation is much more common than most people would think.

Thank you.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Relations with my brother. - June 7th 2017, 07:42 PM

Hey there

actually my first thought wasn't that your a troll but "fuck thats complicated".

Anyway I'm not so sure if I understood exactly what you want to do and how you want to keep it in boundaries, but anyway, i would really advice you to not do anything.
Putting the fact aside, that he's your brother, I think it's cheating on your boyfriend. I know it's hard if hes that far away, but hes still your boyfriend and you shouldn't cheat on him (unless you made an agreement of sorts but I get the feeling you didn't). Also your brother is only 14 so you could get in a lot of legal trouble (depending on the law in your contry and what exactly you are gona do or not do, but still).
Also, he is your brother so if you parents find out you could both get in lots of trouble!

Appart from that, I don't think its good your brother is revealing himself to others (at least if I understand you right). That could get him in lots of trouble and to me it seems rather creepy.
Maybe the best thing to do would be to help him set down boundaries about whats ok and what is not.

I really don't know much about situations like this but I figured I would give you at least some sort of answer and hope it might have helped you.
Whatever you decide to do, take care, watch out for yourself and don't get in trouble


It's ok to give in to an urge or make a mistake. You are only human and we all have our flaws. We all have our weak moments and we all make mistakes. Thats what makes us human.
Thats what makes us unique and beautiful

Courage isn't always a loud roar. Sometimes it is a quiet whisper at the end of a day saying: Tomorrow I will try it again!

   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Relations with my brother. - June 7th 2017, 09:19 PM

Also not quite sure what you want to do, but I'm going to assume you mean something sexual.

In addition to the laws on minority, you should be aware that, depending on where you live, incestuous sexual intercourse, even if it is consensual and within legal age limits, is a crime. In some U.S. states, it can get you anything between 1 and 10 years in prison. If your brother is exposing himself to other people without their consent, that could also be a crime.

As his older sister, you should guide him through this time. It's understandable that he might feel more comfortable talking to you than to your parents, so you should use this trust to help him.

Best of luck!
   
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Re: Relations with my brother. - June 9th 2017, 06:29 PM

I have a similar story. It happened last year when I was 15. I was on a camping trip in the woods with my friends and extended family. My cousin who I hadn't seen in years was there with me and we spent some time alone together. He was 14 and he asked me if I'd ever seen a boy's penis. I said I had and he said he thought his was too big. I told him that that sounded ridiculous but he took it out and it was really big. He started to get a boner and it got to like 11 inches which was insane. It curved too which was weird. I'm not going to lie I didn't have a boyfriend at the time and I was tempted too. He was my half cousin so I even thought about doing it with him. He showed it to me one more time before we left and I was pretty turned on but I controlled myself. I think you need to understand the repercussions of what you'll be doing if you do anything with your brother. It will make things weird for a long time. I already knew that with my cousin. I've seen him only once since then and he said it's gotten even bigger. I fantasize about it but I don't act on it.
   
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Re: Relations with my brother. - June 12th 2017, 08:27 AM

I have also dealt with this personally; my stepbrother (At the time) and I had sexual relations, when we were 14 and 12... It is the worst thing I have ever done. We didnt use protection and I had a pregnancy scare... Yeah, my stepmom found out and we sat down and talked about it. When he got older he began masturbating around me and it was very uncomfortable. I told my stepmom and she put a stop to it....... My point here is even though it might be tempting, do not do it. It could get you into legal trouble but it can also ruin your relationship with your brother and possibly your mom. I hope this helps.


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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Relations with my brother. - June 16th 2017, 07:56 PM

I'm going to put aside the whole entire incest thing for just a moment...

Please remember, he's just 14. And you're 18. Maybe 4 years isn't a lot on paper, and it doesn't matter when you are older... But a lot happens in those particular 4 years.

Yes, he has a lot of hormones and may be considering it (or even outright coming onto you), but as an adult, you are responsible for saying no. Hormones or not, you would be taking advantage of him. Maybe he does have an incest fetish, but does that excuse you, as the older individual, allowing him to take that very real step that he can never take back? At 14 years old, that might sound like an awesome idea! And sure, you can feel flattered that he finds you attractive. But imagining/flirting and actually doing it are way different things with way different impacts on the mind. You should not be engaging with him and should offer only verbal advice, not physical advice.

Not only could you potentially be breaking age of consent laws, but behaving incestuously with an older sibling could cause long-term emotional harm and distress. Many abuse victims do feel pleasure during, but it doesn't mean they go without experiencing long-term emotional harm. Furthermore, if you think about it, many pre-teens and teens may flirt with an adult, but when the adult engages with them, it's still the adult's fault for taking advantage of them. Many of those predatory adults also feel that they are not doing any harm to the younger individual, and as you describe, many think of it as "teaching" the younger person. But good intentions doesn't excuse bad behavior.

Also, jelquing can cause permanent damage and disfigurement. Since he clearly doesn't need it, you should advise him to stop immediately. He should also see a doctor, just in case something bad caused the growth. If you care for him, make sure his health is protected first and foremost (both physical and mental).

And please know - I'm all about someone having the right to make their own decisions about their own sex life. But, even if he acts like he wants to have sex with you, consider the potential unintended consequences it may forever have on his life that he isn't considering at 14. How will he feel about you, allowing him to make that decision? Is it really worth risking your little brother's life for sex? If it's the size you want to experience, you can save up some money and hire an escort one day.

Lastly, as has already been mentioned, you would be cheating on your boyfriend. Please don't do that. If you are considering this (hopefully with another individual your own age) you should have a very frank discussion with your boyfriend about opening up the relationship or finding some way to spice it up. Maybe go on a trip to see him in person if you can financially manage it. If none of those things work, consider potentially finding a new partner. Love is an action, and if you cannot behave lovingly, then you should evaluate whether it is love. And if it isn't love, then perhaps you should consider letting him go and moving on so that you don't hurt him even more in the long run.

Good luck either way. Just be consider your actions carefully.

- Angie
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Post Sibling relationship - July 9th 2017, 03:19 AM

I very sorry I didn't get to reply to the thread, it's closed now, but I wanted to thank everyone who offered very wise and sympathetic advice on the thread I wrote about my brother and I. Thank you very much!

It was very constructive to hear, and put my mind at ease at some points and pushed me to be more wary at others. I realized also that what I wanted was very human and to a point of selfishness on myself. But I have also taken into account that we were both very smart in what we did and careful. We both still enjoy a close and amiable relationship that will hold rock solid between ourselves in the future! (Hopefully)

So for anyone who followed and commented with any advice, thank you again! I'm glad I came here for healthy perspective from others, and I would advise my others to definitely do the same.

Thanks again!!

Ps. For anyone wondering, my boyfriend and I have broken up since. For different reasons, but it was a right decision in the long run.
Anyone who may wants details or questions can pm me!

Last edited by Eternal; July 10th 2017 at 06:32 AM. Reason: Merged with original post.
   
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