TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, and similar topics, ask here!

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Heathen Offline
Beauty and Bedlam
Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
Heathen's Avatar
 
Name: Jordan
Age: 29
Gender: Female

Posts: 5,378
Blog Entries: 577
Join Date: January 6th 2009

How do I get my partner to last longer? - June 9th 2017, 08:15 PM

This thread has been labeled as non-PG13 by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for younger users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I recently started dating someone new. They were a virgin when we started dating; they'd never done anything beyond kissing. Last night we decided we both felt comfortable having sex. Given that this was their first time I didn't expect them to last long. I was correct. It was still fun, but not very satisfying. Between last night and this morning we had sex several more times. Each time it still lasted no more than thirty seconds, even though we're using condoms every time. I didn't expect them to start lasting long after one night, but is there something I can do to help them start to last longer? I don't usually orgasm from penetrative sex so it's not like I'll never climax, but I really enjoy penetrative sex a lot and I'd love to be able to experience more of it with this person. So is there something I can do, or is this just something that gets better with practice?



The moon asked the crow
For a little show
In the hazy milk of twilight
No one had to know
The moon asked the crow...
  Send a message via Yahoo to Heathen  
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Jess~ Offline
Member
Senior TeenHelper
*******
 
Jess~'s Avatar
 
Name: jess
Age: 20
Gender: chick with an imaginary dick
Location: hell

Posts: 908
Blog Entries: 10
Join Date: November 26th 2012

Re: How do I get my partner to last longer? - June 10th 2017, 05:23 AM

during sex they can try edging instead of allowing themselves to orgasm as soon as possible.
i'm assuming you know what that is, but just in case you don't, when they feel like they're on the edge of climax, they can either change the pace in thrusting or pull out and move to something else (like oral or using their hands) for just long enough to put off the orgasm.
i don't know for sure if that will work, but i have heard a lot of guys use that technique to last longer.

i do think that with practice they will start lasting longer though, but of course that will take time.

best of luck to you!


i don't know what i'm supposed to do
haunted by the ghost of you
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Brandon Offline
Member
I can't get enough
*********
 
Brandon's Avatar
 
Name: Brandon
Age: 29
Gender: Male

Posts: 2,542
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: How do I get my partner to last longer? - June 10th 2017, 07:44 AM

As a woman, all you can do is be supportive. And by being "supportive," I mean letting him have his 30-second victories. For now. This dude has been very recently plucked. You introduced him into the sexual side of life. Up until having sex with you, he might not have been aware that he could only last 30-seconds with a woman. This may be a new issue for him; an issue that all men can understand, even if they don't have it themselves. Chances are, he's very aware of what's occurring, and chances are...he's feeling very sensitive about it.

He might be a little ignorant at the moment (that's to be expected), so he might be going through a process. He might be telling himself that you're just REALLY tight, or he's never had sex before so his junk is all sensitive.

If he cares about your needs, he already knows that he isn't satisfying you. If you are open with him, he's well aware of your sexual background and might even be a little bit intimidated. So the fact that he can't last for more than a minute with you might just add more to the fire. Maybe I'm completely wrong and assumes...hey, she isn't going to have an orgasm anyway, so let me get my rocks off and leave her high and dry. Who knows!

The bottom line is: tread carefully. If he's as sensitive about his junk as I was when I was having the exact opposite (I couldn't ejaculate through penetration), then any attempt you make yourself to improve how long he lasts, he's gonna end up feeling like he's not good enough. It's gonna mentally break him down, EVEN THOUGH YOUR INTENTIONS MAY BE GOOD, and it's going to send him through the downward spiral called "self-fulfilling prophesy." Then...not only will you might deal with a guy who can't last long, but he might not even be able to get hard, because the chick he lost his virginity to is trying to change his ways because he's not living up to her expectations.

As a woman, you show your support by saying that "it's okay." If you really wanna enjoy penetrative sex, then start out with enjoying the penetration for those 30-seconds. Make it your mission, as a woman, to be so aroused that those 30 seconds were the best 30 seconds you've ever had in your life. 'Cause you said it yourself...you're not gonna orgasm through penetration sex, so what difference does it make? I know it's not a lot of time, but is there supposed to be a time limit for an acceptable amount of penetration before it can be deemed enjoyable?

Foreplay is no stranger to you. You understand the impact it can make. Actual penetration is just a small aspect of the overall sexual experience. And this dude's sexual experience is just beginning. You won't walk in front of him; you will walk beside him.

When you both enjoy something, you tend to do it more. It's human nature. If he cares about you and enjoys penetration, then he'll one day decide to improve himself, and he'll include you into that journey. At that point, you can participate in his little sexual experiments and all that fun stuff, so he can figure out his body and how he can make it better.

Until then, all you can do is enjoy the ride while it lasts. Pun intended.
   
1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
del677 Offline
Member
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
del677's Avatar
 

Posts: 516
Join Date: December 28th 2016

Re: How do I get my partner to last longer? - June 10th 2017, 08:48 AM

Probably with time.

Try, after he orgasms the first time, tell him the lovemaking isn't over yet, keep cuddling, and doing stuff, and in about 20 minutes he'll be up for another run, and he will likely last longer the 2nd time around.

Plan for a 2 hour love making hoopla!

(Bring all your toys along!)
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Skyline Offline
Member
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
Skyline's Avatar
 
Name: Skye
Age: 19
Gender: Female
Location: France

Posts: 512
Blog Entries: 3
Join Date: August 24th 2014

Re: How do I get my partner to last longer? - June 10th 2017, 01:00 PM

As Jess has said, I would suggest edging. It was the same thing with my current bf and he went from lasting barely 20 seconds to 5 minutes, which isn't exactly long but it's a clear improvement and I'm able to come in that time. You could try being on top so that you have more control, go slow and when you notice he's near climax completely stop for 10/30 secs and start over... Also, as del667 has said if you climax and give it another try soon after, he'll probably last longer then.


"You shall love your crooked neighbour / with your crooked heart."
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Heathen Offline
Beauty and Bedlam
Jeez, get a life!
***********
 
Heathen's Avatar
 
Name: Jordan
Age: 29
Gender: Female

Posts: 5,378
Blog Entries: 577
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: How do I get my partner to last longer? - June 12th 2017, 03:18 AM

Thank you for your responses. They are helpful.

A few notes though: I was on top for the most part. My partner likes it when I take control so they wanted me on top. I barely got started though before the orgasmed. The problem is there were no real clear signs that they were about to climax like there are in most people, and to be honest we kept going a bit afterwards because they hadn't realized they'd come, either; they said it was hard to tell, although when we stopped due to my ankle hurting (I'm recovering from surgery so I can only manage to be in that position a short while) it was clear they had come in the condom. Is there any way to help them tell they're about to, or for me to pick up signals more easily? It's usually much easier for me to tell with someone.

In addition, we had sex several times in one night, not too long after the previous time. They never did last longer, even when we'd already done it a couple of times. So I'm not sure what to do about that.



The moon asked the crow
For a little show
In the hazy milk of twilight
No one had to know
The moon asked the crow...
  Send a message via Yahoo to Heathen  
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
del677 Offline
Member
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
del677's Avatar
 

Posts: 516
Join Date: December 28th 2016

Re: How do I get my partner to last longer? - June 12th 2017, 06:38 AM

I have seen stuff available in the pharmacy section, where the "Family Planning" stuff is, that says it's supposed to help a man last longer. I don't know anything about it though. It might be some sort of male desensitizing lubricant.
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
prollyshouldntbehere's Avatar
 
Name: Doesn't Matter
Gender: Male
Location: Cincinnati

Posts: 6
Join Date: January 2nd 2017

Re: How do I get my partner to last longer? - June 14th 2017, 10:32 AM

Have him do kegles. When he takes a piss, tell him to flex his tummy muscles till he stops the piss from coming out. Hold that for a few seconds, or as long as he can, throughout the course of the bathroom break. Have him perform this same action whenever he can. Bathroom breaks, standing in line, jut flex that same muscle. This is the pelvic floor muscle, and flexing it stops the flow of anything from piss to semen from flowing out of the urethra. If he can flex this muscle, it will hep him last a bit longer in the oment, and overall the increased size will naturally help block flow, although his *ahem* loads will be bigger. As a bonus, this exercise has actually been proven to improve erection angle and length. More than one benefit to a simple exercise.
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
Always * Offline
Member
I can't get enough
*********
 
Always *'s Avatar
 
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Hogwarts

Posts: 3,186
Blog Entries: 2
Join Date: April 12th 2012

Re: How do I get my partner to last longer? - June 14th 2017, 12:18 PM

Does your partner masturbate? I've heard of guys practicing their ability to hold out by masturbating (with the gold edging thing) cause it allows them to get used to the brain sensations needed to hold off on the orgasm. It might also help him with recognizing when the orgasm is happening.

Based in posts I've seen from you in the past, you seem like a really open but constructive person, so I'm sure you can handle such a sensitive topic without giving the guy a complex or insecurities about having sex




Feel free to PM me if you ever need to chat or have questions
   
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
MsNobleEleanor Offline
Resource Editor

I can't get enough
*********
 
MsNobleEleanor's Avatar
 
Gender: Female

Posts: 3,026
Blog Entries: 1462
Join Date: December 29th 2011

Re: How do I get my partner to last longer? - June 14th 2017, 05:35 PM

Hey Jordan,

It's great that you are trying to explore other options for your partner to last longer than 30 seconds. Communicating this will really help. Edging is one method that could work but it may not work for everyone, if the penis is sensitive it can be extra hard for them to hold it. One thing that could be helpful if you do try edging with him, start with your hands, go slow and gentle (not fast or hard) then work your way up to a faster pace and being more firm. For this to work you need him to communicate with you so he can let you know to stop or slow down. This can slowly help, but edging can work or it may not, depends on the person.

I really like the advice another user suggested about doing keagel exercise. This will help with strengthening the pelvic muscles and surrounding muscles. Much the same as when females do this exercise.

If your partner masturbate a lot ask him to try and hold his orgasm as long as he is able to, he can build a tolerance up and have some more control. But hands and a vagina for a male feels very different so the excitement alone can also increase the chances for a faster orgasm.

When having sex, have him notice how he is feeling, if he feels like he is about to climax, stop and take a break, have him breath, take some deep breaths. Sometimes having them think or focus on something else can help to not orgasm faster, but this may not work for some.

It might be worth checking out rings that go at the base of the penis, there suppose to help control orgasms. But again this may not always work for everyone.

The best thing you could do is be patient and communicate with him. Ask how he feels about things you would like to try or have him try, it might be something he is willing to try. I wouldn't recommend pressuring him in trying whatever you would like him to try.

I hope this is helpful.


Have questions or would like to chat send me a PM
+
Senior Article Editor | Newsletter Editor | Resource Editor
Outreach Ambassador | Social Media Guru
Community Moderator | Forum Moderator

   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
longer, partner

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.