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Unhappy My fetfish help me - August 20th 2017, 08:16 PM

I am 16 year old kid with PRIDE , i want to be normal . My fetish is that i like pegging and strapon i have been fighting it for like 2 or 4 year . It all began when i was a kid and some chick just , slap my ass like a joke or do me as a joke . But at the 14 i realised how much of a masochist i am and how much i hate it . Right now for the 1 time i got rid of it but i seek help i watch normal porn and i dont get turned on and i am afraid when i met a woman and have normal sex (cause you see i will Never accepct pegging or let some bitch do my ass with strap) will i get a turn off , will i be able to do her . i want to be normal , why i have to search that day what is pegging just why

Last edited by Hypothesis.; August 20th 2017 at 09:50 PM. Reason: Removing triggering part of title. :)
   
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Re: My fetfish help me - August 22nd 2017, 06:29 AM

First of all, I want to validate that struggling with unwanted sexual feelings is hard. It sounds like you're experiencing some shame and anxiety. You should know that arousal is often uncontrollable and is much more a reflection of unfulfilled physical needs than your personality, sexual orientation, or character. Kink/fetishism is also a perfectly natural part of human sexuality and is different from person to person.

You do not have to do anything you don't want to do, especially when it comes to sex and your body. You say you remember feeling a certain way about pegging for a while, do you recall anything specific that might have led to that being brought to the surface? While there is nothing wrong with having fantasies or fetishes, if it is making you feel bad about yourself you might consider seeing a therapist with experience in sex counseling to discuss it further in a safe and professional setting.

I think it's important to remind yourself that you are only 16 and there is plenty of time for self discovery and sex. You don't have to feel rushed into anything you aren't ready for just because you want to be "normal" (which doesn't even exist). I would personally suggest waiting until A.) you have reached the legal age of consent in your country and B.) you have found a sexual partner willing to be patient and help you experiment with what you're comfortable with and what feels good to you.

Remember, having inclinations like this is normal and it doesn't mean you're weird at all. Many people find that their sexual issues resolve over time and with safe exploration.
   
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Re: My fetfish help me - August 23rd 2017, 10:13 AM

Yes you will be fine and able to have normal sex.

Fear will get in the way though.

I'm guessing (and I am often wrong when I guess) that you come from a conservative family, where there's an unspoken idea of how things ought to be. Often accompanied by fear of bad things happening if one does not conform. e.g. maybe God will spite you, or father will dictate, or something. its all fear based at the core.

God may be seen as a "Strict Father", punitive, vengeful, you'd better obey or else... everything will be fine as long as one obeys. But at the very core of this concept is fear.

In contrast, liberal progressive religious people see God as a nurturing parent. God loves us, cares about us, tries to guide us, encourages us, nurtures us, suffering is not seen as punishment from God. People suffer and we should help them.

in contrast, with a strict father God, suffering is seen as punishment from God, and alleviating someone's suffering is thwarting God's will, because God wants this person to suffer. how else are they ever going to learn? Alleviating suffering ends up being immoral!

(And here all those liberals are alleviating suffering! which to conservatives is immoral!)

the suggestion is, turn to the loving nurturing God concept. take a few minutes to relax, scan your body, take note of what is happening, notice how every part feels. notice your attitude towards each part of your body. take time out every day to do this body scan and feelings scan. what are you feeling, where is the feeling located?

this done repeatedly over several days can help tune up the brain, calm one down. notice is there something you are resisting? just notice and make a note of it and then return focus to the present moment.

strapon and pegging may be exciting because in your mind it is taboo. accept it as normal, and it loses its appeal.

some people who live conservative lives have secret rebellion desires because they actually don't like living under a strict controlling God. if one adopts and nurtures a new concept of God as kind and loving and accepting, the fear problem goes away and is replaced with love. Rebellion also vanishes, as there is no longer anything to rebel against.

then you can freely explore your body and desires and accept them as valid. you can still chose what you actually do. but feelings and desires are accepted and noticed. and ironically its the people who can do this, love themselves and accept themselves, imperfect and different, who are deemed the most well adjusted, that other people are attracted to.

you'll be fine.

thank you for posting!
   
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