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Freaking out - August 30th 2017, 11:20 AM

This won't really be a problem for me until a few years into the future but I'm basically terrified of the idea of getting a Pap smear. And I'd like to get over it while I can because it actually affects me a lot like I seriously wish I didn't have a cervix so I wouldn't have to get one. My mom always said that I wouldn't need one if I didn't have PIV sex so I thought I was safe because I'm gay but apparently that's a myth. This is awkward but my vagina is very um...narrow? Like the whole thing's small, I can't even use tampons without bad pain and I'm scared that it's going to hurt. And because I was sexually abused when I was younger, I'm so afraid of penetration in any way and of showing anyone that area. I'm afraid that I will just tense up.
Does it hurt? Or does it just feel weird? And are the doctors or nurses, whoever does it, are they understanding or scary? And does it take very long? I know I might be over my fears once I get it done but I'd rather be informed now so that I'm ready
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