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Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, and similar topics, ask here!

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GigglingGracie Offline
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Question Should I loose weight for him? - September 8th 2017, 03:28 AM

Hey so I've asked for male advice on this one because when it comes to bodies women always say whatever makes you happy but since it's about my boyfriend I figured a guy would have the answer. So my boyfriend and I have been together for a couple years and recently I've started gaining a bit of weight after the doctor told me I had to. My boyfriend and I used to be very sexually active but recently he's been rejecting any attempts and when I asked him why he said that I should eat like I used to and work out more because he doesn't find me "sexy" anymore. I was wondering if I should loose the weight because no guy will like me if I'm not very skinny or if I should leave him?
   
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Re: Should I loose weight for him? - September 8th 2017, 03:41 AM

The short answer is no.

Never, ever, EVER change your body to please your partner. Your doctor told you to gain weight for a reason: your health. If your doctor is happy with what you're doing and you're healthy as a result of your efforts then that is all that matters. The fact that your boyfriend doesn't get aroused because you don't look like you used to isn't your problem; it's his. If he can't accept that you need to be the weight you are for health reasons, then he's not the guy for you. There are plenty of people out there who will appreciate you no matter what size you are.



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Re: Should I loose weight for him? - September 8th 2017, 03:49 AM

I agree with the above poster. If the doctor said you need to put on weight then you do. Your partner should put your health first. Its pretty awful for him to say that you should loose weight to be attractive. Stay with what the doctor said is healthy.
Plenty of guys will fall for you, no matter what you look like mate


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Re: Should I loose weight for him? - September 9th 2017, 08:45 AM

I agree with Jordan, I also want to add a few things. Looks do change over time, people gain weight, people get wrinkles and so much more. If your partner is not willing to stick by you when your doctor specifically told you to gain weight than you probably shouldn't stick it out with him. I know a lot of older people and one of the things I hear them complain about is the fact that they have gained weight and that their bodies aren't the same as when they were younger. A lot of these people aren't even overweight but their bodies have changed quite a lot over the years that they are unhappy with it. Over the course of your life your body is going to change too. If you ever decide to have a child .... your body will change...If you ever have to go on a medication there is a chance your body will change. Partners should be willing to accept the changes that they partners go through. There is nothing wrong with encouraging your partner to be healthy but to encourage them to lose weight when they have been told by the doctor that they need to gain weight is negligent and shows a lack of concern for your well-being.

My personal opinion, if a person truly loves their partner they won't let physical changes prevent them from loving and even being attracted to them. When my boyfriend and I first met I weighed a bit more and this was largely in part to the fact that I was doing some unhealthy things in regards to eating. As our relationship progressed I stopped doing the unhealthy behaviors and I did gain weight. My partner never once said anything about it. He made a comment about how he thought I was beautiful around the time I was relatively heavy etc. I did end up making the decision to lose weight but that was solely for myself because I knew if I didn't do something my weight would be out of control.

So, if the only reason you are considering losing weight is because of your partner don't do it. If you want to lose weight for other reasons than consult a doctor about how to do so healthily or if your doctor even feels that you need to lose weight at all.

Best of luck.


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Re: Should I loose weight for him? - September 10th 2017, 11:54 AM

Don't change yourself for anyone, but if it is for health reasons, sure.

Your boyfriend should be accepting if he really loves you.
   
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Re: Should I loose weight for him? - September 11th 2017, 12:20 AM

Your doctor told you that you needed to gain weight. If this guy cares more about some crappy standard of beauty over your well-being, he's not worth it. There are plenty of kind-hearted folks in the world that you deserve, from partners and friends, and he's a waste of your time. I know it's more complicated than that and you may truly care about him, but this doesn't seem like a healthy partner to have. I'd highly recommend breaking this off, or be stern in giving him a last chance.


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Re: Should I loose weight for him? - September 11th 2017, 09:00 AM

Sexy is a state of mind.

Cultivate that state of mind, an you will be sexy and men will be attracted to that sexiness.

Sexual attraction is more in the mind than in the body. When you walk think of the tune, "The Girl From Ipanema".
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJkxFhFRFDA
Just keep doing that and soon it will sink in and you'll become more confident. (It's a little mind trick, because parts of the brain can't tell the difference between fantasizing, thinking about, and actually being, so it starts to believe it.)

If he's not interested in you, it's probably something about him.
   
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Re: Should I loose weight for him? - September 12th 2017, 03:25 AM

Im bigender as well as a she/they. So you will get half and half.

As a female: No. dont ever change yourself for no man. You are beautiful the way you are! And if your boyfriend is rejecting you because you arnt as ¨skinny¨ as you where before than he aint worth the wild. Change for yourself. Yourself only. And if your doctor requests you to eat more, listen to the doc! But dont over do it!

As a male: We have types. Like women do. From what you said, it sounds like your man likes you from when you are skinny. But dont change yourself for no man. It seems like the only way but really its not. We take a while to change. Most of us like women for whom they are. Not what they think they want us to believe they are. Dont change yourself, except for health reasons, for no man. Or anyone.


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