Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!

Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, and similar topics, ask here!

Closed Thread
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
GigglingGracie Offline
Welcome me, I'm new!
GigglingGracie's Avatar
Name: Grace
Gender: Female
Location: Canada Eh

Posts: 3
Join Date: August 11th 2017

Question Should I loose weight for him? - September 8th 2017, 03:28 AM

Hey so I've asked for male advice on this one because when it comes to bodies women always say whatever makes you happy but since it's about my boyfriend I figured a guy would have the answer. So my boyfriend and I have been together for a couple years and recently I've started gaining a bit of weight after the doctor told me I had to. My boyfriend and I used to be very sexually active but recently he's been rejecting any attempts and when I asked him why he said that I should eat like I used to and work out more because he doesn't find me "sexy" anymore. I was wondering if I should loose the weight because no guy will like me if I'm not very skinny or if I should leave him?
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Heathen Offline
Beauty and Bedlam
Jeez, get a life!
Heathen's Avatar
Name: Jordan
Age: 29
Gender: Female

Posts: 5,378
Blog Entries: 577
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: Should I loose weight for him? - September 8th 2017, 03:41 AM

The short answer is no.

Never, ever, EVER change your body to please your partner. Your doctor told you to gain weight for a reason: your health. If your doctor is happy with what you're doing and you're healthy as a result of your efforts then that is all that matters. The fact that your boyfriend doesn't get aroused because you don't look like you used to isn't your problem; it's his. If he can't accept that you need to be the weight you are for health reasons, then he's not the guy for you. There are plenty of people out there who will appreciate you no matter what size you are.

The moon asked the crow
For a little show
In the hazy milk of twilight
No one had to know
The moon asked the crow...
  Send a message via Yahoo to Heathen  
2 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
TheAtomicBlade Offline
Resident Sith
Senior TeenHelper
TheAtomicBlade's Avatar
Name: Tortellini
Age: 21
Gender: Male
Location: Executor Star Ship

Posts: 950
Join Date: May 7th 2016

Re: Should I loose weight for him? - September 8th 2017, 03:49 AM

I agree with the above poster. If the doctor said you need to put on weight then you do. Your partner should put your health first. Its pretty awful for him to say that you should loose weight to be attractive. Stay with what the doctor said is healthy.
Plenty of guys will fall for you, no matter what you look like mate

PM me if you ever wanna talk. Send a message my way.
And remember, you matter. You're awesome. You're beautiful. Stay strong, the world will get better.

May The Force be With You.
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
.:Bibliophile:. Online
PM me anytime!

TeenHelp Veteran
.:Bibliophile:.'s Avatar
Gender: Just me

Posts: 16,828
Blog Entries: 1770
Join Date: January 18th 2009

Re: Should I loose weight for him? - September 9th 2017, 08:45 AM

I agree with Jordan, I also want to add a few things. Looks do change over time, people gain weight, people get wrinkles and so much more. If your partner is not willing to stick by you when your doctor specifically told you to gain weight than you probably shouldn't stick it out with him. I know a lot of older people and one of the things I hear them complain about is the fact that they have gained weight and that their bodies aren't the same as when they were younger. A lot of these people aren't even overweight but their bodies have changed quite a lot over the years that they are unhappy with it. Over the course of your life your body is going to change too. If you ever decide to have a child .... your body will change...If you ever have to go on a medication there is a chance your body will change. Partners should be willing to accept the changes that they partners go through. There is nothing wrong with encouraging your partner to be healthy but to encourage them to lose weight when they have been told by the doctor that they need to gain weight is negligent and shows a lack of concern for your well-being.

My personal opinion, if a person truly loves their partner they won't let physical changes prevent them from loving and even being attracted to them. When my boyfriend and I first met I weighed a bit more and this was largely in part to the fact that I was doing some unhealthy things in regards to eating. As our relationship progressed I stopped doing the unhealthy behaviors and I did gain weight. My partner never once said anything about it. He made a comment about how he thought I was beautiful around the time I was relatively heavy etc. I did end up making the decision to lose weight but that was solely for myself because I knew if I didn't do something my weight would be out of control.

So, if the only reason you are considering losing weight is because of your partner don't do it. If you want to lose weight for other reasons than consult a doctor about how to do so healthily or if your doctor even feels that you need to lose weight at all.

Best of luck.

|Lead Moderator|Newsletter Officer|
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Markus Offline
Professional Human
Junior TeenHelper
Markus's Avatar
Name: Marcus
Gender: Male
Location: Singapore

Posts: 232
Join Date: September 3rd 2017

Re: Should I loose weight for him? - September 10th 2017, 11:54 AM

Don't change yourself for anyone, but if it is for health reasons, sure.

Your boyfriend should be accepting if he really loves you.
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Coffee. Offline
Condom Queen
TeenHelp Addict
Coffee.'s Avatar
Name: Traci
Age: 27
Gender: she/her/hers
Location: North Carolina

Posts: 8,147
Blog Entries: 639
Join Date: October 29th 2009

Re: Should I loose weight for him? - September 11th 2017, 12:20 AM

Your doctor told you that you needed to gain weight. If this guy cares more about some crappy standard of beauty over your well-being, he's not worth it. There are plenty of kind-hearted folks in the world that you deserve, from partners and friends, and he's a waste of your time. I know it's more complicated than that and you may truly care about him, but this doesn't seem like a healthy partner to have. I'd highly recommend breaking this off, or be stern in giving him a last chance.

I said to the sun, "Tell me about the big bang"
& the sun said “it hurts to become."
Andrea Gibson, "I Sing The Body Electric; Especially When My Power Is Out"
  Send a message via MSN to Coffee.  
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
del677 Offline
Experienced TeenHelper
del677's Avatar

Posts: 516
Join Date: December 28th 2016

Re: Should I loose weight for him? - September 11th 2017, 09:00 AM

Sexy is a state of mind.

Cultivate that state of mind, an you will be sexy and men will be attracted to that sexiness.

Sexual attraction is more in the mind than in the body. When you walk think of the tune, "The Girl From Ipanema".
Just keep doing that and soon it will sink in and you'll become more confident. (It's a little mind trick, because parts of the brain can't tell the difference between fantasizing, thinking about, and actually being, so it starts to believe it.)

If he's not interested in you, it's probably something about him.
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
itzz.casper Offline
Average Joe
itzz.casper's Avatar
Name: Casper
Gender: They/Them/Their
Location: Off In My Thoughts

Posts: 129
Blog Entries: 12
Join Date: November 2nd 2016

Re: Should I loose weight for him? - September 12th 2017, 03:25 AM

Im bigender as well as a she/they. So you will get half and half.

As a female: No. dont ever change yourself for no man. You are beautiful the way you are! And if your boyfriend is rejecting you because you arnt as ¨skinny¨ as you where before than he aint worth the wild. Change for yourself. Yourself only. And if your doctor requests you to eat more, listen to the doc! But dont over do it!

As a male: We have types. Like women do. From what you said, it sounds like your man likes you from when you are skinny. But dont change yourself for no man. It seems like the only way but really its not. We take a while to change. Most of us like women for whom they are. Not what they think they want us to believe they are. Dont change yourself, except for health reasons, for no man. Or anyone.

If I help or will help yay! If you need anyone you can just PM me or shoot me a VM!

I'm not looking for sympathy, just understanding- Jacoby Shaddix <3
Closed Thread


loose, weight

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All material copyright ©1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.