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I hate how it looks down there - May 28th 2018, 09:55 PM

Iím talking to this guy. Weíre going to end up going all of the way soon. He tells me Iím beautiful no matter what but I hate how I look naked! Iím not skinny, between my thighs I have little bump things Iíve had for a long time since my legs rub together. I just feel like my vagina looks disgusting and itís ruining my self confidence. Has anyone else felt this way?
   
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Re: I hate how it looks down there - May 29th 2018, 12:45 AM

Hello,


Congratulations on meeting someone. I hope that he treats you well. To be honest, I think that a lot of people have these concerns. I know that I struggled a lot with the idea of letting anyone see me naked. When I met my boyfriend we talked about him seeing me naked but I was really uncomfortable with the idea because I do not like the way my body looks and I did feel like my vagina was pretty gross looking too. I think that we all have insecurities about our bodies and when we are getting intimate with someone new it can be difficult to allow them to see us without clothes. If this guy cares about you he should be respectful of the fact that you have insecurities and he should be willing to go at your pace. There are a lot of different ways to grow comfortable with allowing someone to see you naked; I know I had to work into it slowly.

It's possible that talking to this guy about your apprehension could prove beneficial. I know talking to my boyfriend about my apprehension helped me to see that he was understanding and that he was willing to go at my pace. It can be a difficult discussion to have but I think it can be a healthy way to cope with the feelings you might be having.

I do know that the more comfortable I got with my boyfriend the more comfortable I got with him seeing me naked. I still have bad days but they are fewer and farther between than when him and I started dating. I think that for some people, the more comfortable they are with the person they are being intimate with, the less likely they are to feel uncomfortable about having that person see them naked. This isn't true for everyone, of course.

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Re: I hate how it looks down there - June 27th 2018, 05:27 AM

I agree with Bibliophile; I feel like open communication goes a long way if you're feeling apprehensive.

In addition, don't forget that you don't have to do anything before you are ready too. Maybe you tell your partner that your nervous and feel uncomfortable about your body and that maybe the first time you won't be able to go the whole way, you could always start by taking your shirts off or letting him touch your body without removing any clothing and gradually building up your comfort levels.

You could also question what makes you uncomfortable. Body image is a huge insecurity for so many. So what is your concern in this area? Do you worry he'll focus so closely on the insides of your thighs he'll be turned off? Or that he'll otherwise reject your body? He tells you that you're beautiful though, and frankly, if he's a young guy, I can't imagine him being put off by such things.

This is why I think communication is important. You could say something like "I am excited our relationship is progressing, but I am nervous, I am worried you'll see parts of me you've never seen before and not like it" and discuss maybe, like I suggested, going more slowly.

I am sure that once you've had this experience, you'll see it'll be ok; it's the anticipation that is tha scariest. I hope this helps.
   
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