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SomeGuy03 Offline
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Bondage for the wrong reasons? - December 23rd 2018, 05:46 PM

I'm sort of new to the bdsm scene, I've just turned 15 and I'm finding myself (as cringy as that sounds).

I'm worried I like it for the wrong reasons. I'm scared that I'm not treating women in the right way. I understand that bdsm is about respect and consent but what if i don't see it that way. What if I just like seeing people tied up and I'm some kind of perv.

I've talked about this issue before but i need to tackle it before it completely consumes me.

Sorry if this makes no sense but i just need some people to talk to.
   
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Re: Bondage for the wrong reasons? - December 23rd 2018, 05:46 PM

Sadly therapy isn't an option since I can't tell my parents.
   
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Re: Bondage for the wrong reasons? - December 23rd 2018, 07:51 PM

@SomeGuy03 you may not be able to talk to your parents about this, but there are other avenues that you can pursue to talk to an adult about this. How about contacting your School Counselor? Now you might come off to me and say they will tell my parents and that is not completely true. If you are not engaging in anything illegal or are harming yourself or another person they are not going to tell your parents. Now I don't know the entire situation you are involved in so if the person you are doing this with is an adult of course they would tell your parents or if anything involved is illegal they would tell your parents, but if that is the case you need to seriously think about what you are getting yourself into. Good Luck.
   
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Re: Bondage for the wrong reasons? - December 24th 2018, 10:27 AM

What is it that makes you feel you aren't treating women properly? What makes you worry about not seeing bdsm as respectful?

You may like what you see (people being tied up) and that's okay. Where it crosses the line is whether it's done consensually or not. It's okay in bdsm to role play being tied up, whereas it's not okay to force someone against their will to be tied up and enjoy the feelings you get from this. Some people who take part in bdsm may 'pretend' not to like being tied up (and have safewords when they actually want to stop) but as long as you know that it's an act and everything is being done consensually (as it should be) there is nothing wrong with that.

If you still feel concerned then it is best to talk to a counsellor. As it's been said above, as long as you aren't hurting/planning to hurt, yourself or others or doing anything illegal, then the therapist is unlikely to tell your parents. Depending on where you are, the therapist may want to get consent from your parents for you to have therapy, but they won't know why you are seeking therapy.


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