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Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, and similar topics, ask here!

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OhMyLorde Offline
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Orgasm help - January 24th 2019, 04:50 AM

Hi all.

I'm really embarrassed about this and I don't really know what to do about it but I cannot orgasm. I can't do it by myself and its damaging relationships with partners because I can't do it with them. My last boyfriend knew about it so he would make everything about getting me there, and my current boyfriend is moving that way too. Its not that I don't feel good, I feel really good but there is no edging up to anything, its just a plateau. I don't want them to overthink it and I think sometimes they get ego blows but I've literally cried about not being able to. I feel broken.

I know that I am a super mental person and I think that is the big problem, clearing my mind and just letting the feelings take over but I have no idea how to do that. I've tried focusing on all the feelings but then random thoughts pop into my head. I also feel like I have an oddly low libido for an 18 year old who dates recently and can mess around whenever I want to.

Has this happened to anybody else? I'm considering going to my doctor about it but its really been affecting me lately. I've talked to a few of my friends about it and they've been able to, so why not me?


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JennyisIn Offline
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Re: Orgasm help - January 24th 2019, 07:06 AM

On average it takes more for a female to orgasm than a male. But I think they keys you need to focus on is the mental part. If you start to believe it wont happen then it won't. Your putting to much pressure on yourself. Especially when trying alone your goal is orgasm but maybe you shouldn't think that far ahead. Just enjoy your body. Get excited and feel nice. Try to feel feminine and go through the sensations. Your body will get there if you don't add the mental pressure.

Other things to look at are what does it for you when you do orgasm with someone. Have you only had them with a sexual partner your emotionally invested in? Never casually. You could be linked to an emotional state too.

But I think the main thing to do is just relax and not think about orgasm. Easier said than done I know.
   
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MarryMarty Offline
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Re: Orgasm help - February 21st 2019, 02:12 PM

Focus on your feelings. It helps me
   
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