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Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, and similar topics, ask here!

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
PureLithium Offline
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Things to expect the first time? - July 20th 2009, 02:34 AM

Lately I've been having a lot of thoughts and questions about sex and I wanted to know a couple of things on what to expect. I'm a virgin so I could really use some help.

Ok first off, how will it even start? I mean how will I know when the sex part is coming? I know there will be plenty of foreplay but how will I know when the guy actually wants to do it or has it planned? Any hints to pick up as we go along?

Next..I know a lot of people say it can hurt and you can bleed yadayada and that it's different for everyone. Well, for the average person does the pain only happen for the first couple seconds or are you sore for the whole evening and the next couple of days?

What are some easy tips for first time sex? Like how do we direct the penis there without having to break out an instructional booklet. Although that would be useful..anyways. When and if I start bleeding will it be weird for the guy and totally turn him off? Or will he automatically expect it since I'm a virgin? Does the bleeding help the sex at all? Ease any pain?

Will it be awkward after the sex? Or even during? I'm afraid that the shock will set in and that I will freeze up and be like "what the hell are you doing?" kind of thing. What are some things to do after sex? Just lay there? I guess what I'm asking is, what is the best thing to do after having sex? What's more comfortable to some of you? i always enjoy hearing personal experiences or advice.

I could really use a lot of advice for first time sex. I won't do it until it's the right time but to ease my mind for when the time does come, I'd like some useful tips. Help anyone?
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Re: Things to expect the first time? - July 20th 2009, 02:52 AM

well i think he would ask you if you want to do it/ ready to do it.
my boyfriend always asked me before we did anything to make sure
i wanted it.

for me i didnt have pain, but i imagine it would only hurt for a little while, and then it might get a bit easier but after sex you might be sore as well. soreness should only last for a day or two.


um directing the penis, im sure he could put his penis in the hole just fine lol.
he might want to start off really slow, making slow movements with his hips back and forth so its more comfortable for you and him.

if he knows your a virgin i believe he wouldnt be grossed out, im sure it will be fine, sometimes you bleed after your first time as well from being to rough. i believe you wont even notice the blood.

if your with someone you care about i dont think that it will be that awkward after or during, you both are exploring eachother bodies and its natrual for you to no know everything the first time. just go with what feels right.

after sex im usually worn out and me and my boyfriend snuggle together. some people like that some dont.
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Re: Things to expect the first time? - July 20th 2009, 03:25 AM

-You'll have to get over the fact you have a penis inside you.
-You'll be paranoid that you could get pregnant.
-You might bleed.
-You might get addicted, lol.
-It might hurt.
-It is amazing and wonderful.
-You might orgasm.
-It might not go as you planned.


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Re: Things to expect the first time? - July 20th 2009, 12:40 PM

You really have to communicate a lot during, before, and after. That's the only real true way to know when it's coming, how it's going to go and so forth. This is when you can voice your wants, needs, and desires.

I hurt for the first like, five minutes. I was a bit sore, but nothing awful for maybe the next day or so? But of course, it varies from person to person.

I didn't really bleed much my first time to be honest. So I can't say how that was. The guy will be expecting it though if you're communicating!

It can be awkward, but you know, it's usually not anything you both can't get over. If the time is right you'll be with a person who you love and it will be hard to make you two feel too incredibly awkward.



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Re: Things to expect the first time? - July 20th 2009, 01:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by xHolyValorx View Post

-You'll be paranoid that you could get pregnant.
Definitely agreed!!



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Re: Things to expect the first time? - July 20th 2009, 01:49 PM

Dont stress about it, Sex should be a great thing and even for your first time. Everyones abit scared and think they cant do it right for anything that they do 1st time but once that 1st time has happend after that it gets alot better. Be brave! and be yourself, try not to stress about anything. Aslong as he wears protection, thats all that should be on your mind. Or if hes older maybe ask him to take the lead for abit untill you get the hang of it.

The most important thing is only do it if your ready.
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Re: Things to expect the first time? - July 20th 2009, 02:09 PM

Well, it sounds like you haven't had much experienc doing things yet. It's natural to wonder what it's going to be like. Guys spend a lot of time thinking about it, too.

Don't just let it happen. It's something under your control, after all, it's your body. You can be sure that he wants to do it any time you make out. It's a good idea to do some fooling around before you actually want to have sex. But agree with him beforehand what it's going to be. Like, I'm not read to have sex with you, but we can do some fooling around. But no sex, OK?' And by that I mean getting some clothes off and finding out about each other's bodies and getting comfortable with it. That way you know where everything is and what it looks like.

Yes, people sometimes try to have sex and can't locate the vagina. If he learns to find it with his fingers, he'll be able to locate it with his penis. You can learn a lot about first times by looking through the archives and reading about other people's experiences. If you get the "What the hell are you doing" feeling, stop what you're doing. You're not ready yet. If you are, give him some guidance, don't let him rush and hold his hips so he doesn't go too fast. Too much pain usually means you're not wet enough, so have some lube available.

Will it be awkward after & will you regret it? Not if it's the right person and you're ready. Afterward, you kiss and cuddle and say sweet things to each other.

Are you getting the idea that you talk it over first and agree on what you're going to do and plan for it? Good, cuz that's what I'm trying to say.

Oh, and use protection.
   
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Re: Things to expect the first time? - July 21st 2009, 12:33 AM

Where would be a good place to have sex the first time? Like in a shower or the bed?
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Re: Things to expect the first time? - July 21st 2009, 12:34 AM

Thanks for all of the help, I really appreciate it
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Re: Things to expect the first time? - July 21st 2009, 01:05 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by PureLithium View Post
Where would be a good place to have sex the first time? Like in a shower or the bed?


I would really recommend the bed hehe, In an empty house :P Dont go trying a silent sex session. Take that for future advice lol Try and get to know what your doing 1st before you try other places like shower, outdoor, floor etc You catch my drift x

Good luck by the way!!! <3


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