Boring sex...

[KittenGoesRoar]

So I had broken up with my boyfriend for many reasons, but sex was one of them.


I just HATED it. When we had sex, you know, I would get excited and all, but briefly and then it went away (but he never noticed, obviously). I can only remember truly enjoying sex twice over the three years we were together. I didn't have the guts to tell him frankly I didn't like having sex with him. But. Now it's over.

And now I'm scared that it's something deeper. What if it wasn't him, but me? What if I have something wrong with me? Does that mean I might as well not even think about ever having sex with anyone again? it depresses me so...

~Kitten

[LauraB]

If the sex got boring to you, than the best thing to do is spice it up! Even though it didn't work out with your bf. For all future bfs , make sure if it gets boring to you, than you find ways to make it interesting . Add props or toys , etc. Sex isn't the most important thing in a relationship but, it does play a big part. Talking to your next bfs will help out the situation. Not everyone can read minds, you have to speak up (:

[DanceCommander]

I disagree with LauraB. I think people CAN be bad at sex, but more so in the sense that they are unable to be in tune with another person, arent receptive, make it all about them, arent open to new things, etc. This doesnt sound like the case. It sounds like you two for some reason just didnt really "click" when it came to the sex part of things. I doubt anything is wrong with you, although those are natural thoughts to worry about if sex wasnt as great as we thought it could be. I do second that in the future you should try to experiment with new things if one thing doesnt work and communicate about what you want in bed. Thats the only want to ever make it any better.

[guillotine_blades]

Originally Posted by LauraB

No one is really " bad " at sex.

yes some are. I have had some truley bad lays in my life...horrible. And with my ex husband I rarely enjoyed sex. However with my bf, I want it all the time and the majority of the time I walk away satisfied, others we just go again till I am

and I forgot to add, sometimes with women it is mental/emotional. If you aren't completely comfortable with the person, sometimes you just aren't into it and aren't going to enjoy it.

[LauraB]

Lol okay let me re-phrase myself. YOU CAN be bad at sex. I guess when I said you can't really be " bad " It made sense to me at the time haha.

I edited that out btw (: my mistake <3

[Chzburger]

Well if you've enjoyed sex with other guys and it was just him you didn't like, it's probably not a you-problem.

But if you are worried, you could always masturbate any try different things with yourself to discover what you like so you can help future partners make sex enjoyable for you.

[J&M's Mommy]

Were you comfortable with him? I mean, really? I know that the first guy I was with I was not as comfortable as I should have been with him. I know this because we had OK sex, and afterwards I would always feel uneasy. As if I had done something wrong. I almost felt like throwing up at times.

Whereas with my boyfriend now, its just a completely natural thing for us. I am so happy and satisfied with him that I know it must be right to some degree. And I have never felt uneasy with him except maybe the first time, and I definitely did not feel the anxiety afterwards like I did with my first.

I would say that you may have some emotional issues perhaps, or maybe not. It could be that he just wasn't very good at sex so you did not enjoy it. Either way it is something that you can work on if need be.

[KittenGoesRoar]

Originally Posted by kaydee

Were you comfortable with him? I mean, really? I know that the first guy I was with I was not as comfortable as I should have been with him. I know this because we had OK sex, and afterwards I would always feel uneasy. As if I had done something wrong. I almost felt like throwing up at times.

Whereas with my boyfriend now, its just a completely natural thing for us. I am so happy and satisfied with him that I know it must be right to some degree. And I have never felt uneasy with him except maybe the first time, and I definitely did not feel the anxiety afterwards like I did with my first.

I would say that you may have some emotional issues perhaps, or maybe not. It could be that he just wasn't very good at sex so you did not enjoy it. Either way it is something that you can work on if need be.

Possibly I was feeling that way. I never I guess really had a true connection with him. We were so different in so many ways....

[primal moo]

I kinda think Kala/kaydee's on to something with the emotional connection part of sex. The other thing that attracted my attention was that he never noticed that your excitement went away. Wouldn't you want a guy who'd notice?... Not the kind who's obsessed with your orgasm or anything, but a guy that cares whether you're enjoying it or not.

I don't think it's you as in "just you, the individual"... I think it may have been what you had (or didn't have) together.

[KittenGoesRoar]

Originally Posted by cowsgomoo

I kinda think Kala/kaydee's on to something with the emotional connection part of sex. The other thing that attracted my attention was that he never noticed that your excitement went away. Wouldn't you want a guy who'd notice?... Not the kind who's obsessed with your orgasm or anything, but a guy that cares whether you're enjoying it or not.

I don't think it's you as in "just you, the individual"... I think it may have been what you had (or didn't have) together.

Yeah, I'm serious he never noticed much that it went away. It made me feel like he didn't care about what I was getting outta it. Could've made me shut down.

~Kitten