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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
lostandalone Offline
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embarrassed - November 7th 2009, 06:06 AM

I have searched the foorum but didnt find anything that really answered my question. i hope im not breaking any rules, im new at this. im sorry

My parents are divorced and i live with my mum. i have no brothers or sisters or any close freinds. .so i really dont know who to ask. My problem is a few months ago i sort of started to touch myself. well one time mum came into my room and caught me. she took me to the kitchen and hit my hands with a wood spoon. it hurt so much. she said only perverts do that and if i dont stop i'll end up a prositute. i really try not to do it but sometimes when im in a shower and cleaning there i cant stop. im sooo scared she might catch me again, i have to leave the door open and she does come in sometimes. whats wrong with me? how can i stop?
   
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Re: embarrassed - November 7th 2009, 06:40 AM

Erika, that's so normal. Not your mum's reaction, but what your doing, it's normal. There's nothing wrong with you. It won't make you a pervert, or anything like that. Maybe try to shut your door, or do it when she's not around though.

It is normal, to touch yourself, because if gives you a sense of pleasure. You are at the age where your hormones are starting to run rampant, so it's really to be expected that you like it. If you have questions, just send me a pm,and I might be able to help you out.


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Re: embarrassed - November 7th 2009, 07:28 AM

Hi Erika,

I'm glad that you feel you can turn to us here at TeenHelp with these sorts of questions. This is a supportive community; you never have to worry when you come here with questions or concerns.

What you are doing is completely normal. Most people do it, especially at this age. There is nothing wrong with experiencing pleasure from your body. You would never call someone a pervert for scratching their back or getting a shoulder massage, right? This isn't all that different...it's just a bit more personal, is all.

If you feel comfortable, perhaps you could talk to your mother about having a bit more privacy. You do not have to state why if you do not want to; just let her know that you need personal time. Everyone needs alone time sometimes.

Take care...if you have any more questions or if you'd like to talk, feel free to PM me.


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Re: embarrassed - November 7th 2009, 02:39 PM

it's completely normal.. and your mums reaction is a tad extreme. if she has such a problem with it then just make sure you do it when she's not around or like you said, in the shower or whatever. it won't turn you into a prostitute and it's certainly not something only perverts do. it's a completely natural thing to do.. so don't worry about it.


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Re: embarrassed - November 7th 2009, 11:03 PM

It's normal! (And fun ) Question tho, is your mother in a religion that says you can't do that sort of thing? i mean it sounds like a really harsh thing too do to a teenager. I've been caught, was very embaressing . You get over it in a day. But yeah, close the door. if you here her opening just go quick too hide it, have a book near you if you read, act like your reading it when she comes in or something.
   
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Re: embarrassed - November 8th 2009, 02:27 AM

Like everyone else said, it's completely normal and you aren't a pervert. I do it under a blanket often with stretchy clothes on so if someone comes in I can just pull my hand out and no one will know anything.


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Re: embarrassed - November 8th 2009, 05:37 AM

.....Thank you all for your help and suggestions !!!!! I was feeling dirty and weak for doing that to myself. Im so releived to hear its so normal.

To answer some questions and clear things up, I have alot of issues with mum,privacy is one--she has never has given it to me but cant talk to her about that right now, as im trying to fix another problem I have with her.

I want to close the door but she wont let me since she caught me, i cant even pee with the door closed---i'll probley start another topic to sort this

My mum isnt really relegous just extreme, always has.

Anyhoo...THANK YOU ALL... im feeling better about this You guys are great.
   
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Re: embarrassed - November 8th 2009, 06:08 AM

Like you said before, you could always do it in the shower. Doing in under a blanket is also a good idea. You can always wait until she isn't at home.
I think you should talk to her, when you are comfortable. You said that you are dealing with other things right now, and I hope that with time, these get sorted out.
I'm glad you are feeling better. If you need any more advice, feel free to PM me anytime!
   
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Re: embarrassed - November 8th 2009, 10:14 AM

In the shower is good, skirts are a godsend.
Seriously, it's natural. Sometimes people can be a little old fashioned about it though.
Masturbating used to be considered a sin in society about 50-70 years ago.


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Re: embarrassed - November 9th 2009, 12:54 AM

Masturbation is not only totally normal, but good for you as well. I have a lot of stress so I do it to help myself to relax so I can fall asleep. It also helps you know what you like and what you dont like so that when you have a partner you can tell him (or her ) what feels good to you. The final reason is that, according to an issue of cosmopolitan (so take this with a grain of salt lol) achieving orgasam is actually healthy for you and will help you live longer. I cant exactly remember what it said, but Im guessing it's probably about the relieving stress part of it.
I hope this all works out!
Love,Maddie
   
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Re: embarrassed - November 9th 2009, 05:26 PM

I am very sorry to hear that your mom is being so ridiculous about this whole thing. Not even being able to pee with the door closed? She was your age too once so she should know better that teens get really horny during puberty and that they need privacy. I/m guessing her parents weren't very fond of the idea of masturbation and scolded her as well so maybe that's why she is doing the same to you.

But in the meantime, it's ok to keep masturbating. The shower is a great place to do it, like you said. Just do your best not to get caught until you can reach some kind of understanding with your mom.
   
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Re: embarrassed - November 11th 2009, 04:14 AM

Again, thank you for all for you wonderful support on this. I had felt so alone in this, mum isnt one for letting things go easily, she carried on for a couple days after catching me. I had tried hard not to not to do but eventually gave in, feeling so dirty after. Now Im able to just simply enjoy it, I feel soooo relaxed after..I go to sleep so nice now. Hugs to all of you
I agree skirts are great (lol, another reason its great being a girl ) and if that Cosmopolitan article is right, I think I'm going to live to be 200 !!!!

I don't know why mum is like this (her parents are quite religious) but she has no problem having her boyfreind stay over on the weekend. ( I may need to create a thread for that !! lol)

..umm...I do have another question....Im doing it everyday now...Just a bit worried about that.....am I right to think its just a phase and things will get sorted in time? ( maybe Im just getting "caught up" for the times I refused to do it)

Last edited by lostandalone; November 11th 2009 at 01:47 PM. Reason: forgot to include someting
   
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Re: embarrassed - November 11th 2009, 05:18 PM

I don't want to call it a phase. Are you asking if you might grow out of it?
Some people masturbate once or twice, and never do it again. Some people do it quite off and some people do it off and on. There really is no normal. You are a teenager and you are exploring your body. I see nothing wrong with it.
If you feel personally uncomfortable, then stop. Maybe you'll want to when you are older. Whatever you decide, do it because you want to, not because of your mom, or anyone else says.
   
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Re: embarrassed - November 11th 2009, 06:01 PM

I agree with everything Elizabeth. Everyone is different so everyone does it different amounts of times. It's all normal though. If you are worried about it, try to go out and find other things to do.


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Re: embarrassed - November 11th 2009, 06:01 PM

I might have missed it above, but did you try just masturbating before bed? At first, before I started to get time home alone, I would go to bed at the normal time, turn the lights off, shut the door, and go ahead. There isn't really a way you could get caught unless your mom amuses herself by waking you up when you are trying to fall asleep.
   
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Re: embarrassed - November 12th 2009, 04:03 PM

LOL...I'll try that too




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Re: embarrassed - November 13th 2009, 01:34 PM

Masturbating isn't abnormal until it's actually interfering with your everyday life. If you're, say, passing up offers to see your friends to stay home and masturbate, then it's become a problem. Otherwise, you're okay.



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Re: embarrassed - November 14th 2009, 03:58 PM

Thanks. Its not interfering with anything.




"Think of your life as a book, move forward, close one chapter and open another." Unknown

We give each other strength to make it through the darkness." Silverstein

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Every human life is worth the same, and worth saving." J.K. Rowling
   
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