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Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, and similar topics, ask here!

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
xxxskittlesxxx Offline
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i keep telling him... - November 15th 2009, 08:08 PM

i love my boyfriend so so much but when it comes to cuddling up , he just cant help himself and starts to have sex with me. im not on the pill yet but he never wants to use protection at first. it only lasts about a minute unprotected but i keep telling him no! he says to me "okay babe i understand" but carries on. i thaught because of his age he would be wiser but obviousely his mind is still young! i love him so much though and i cant find nothing else wrong about him! i just need to know how i can get him to stop doing what he is doing?


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i keep telling him... - November 15th 2009, 08:21 PM

I think it's really important that you sit him down and make it crystal clear to him what a serious issue this is. Honestly, if you tell him no, and he keeps going, that is rape. He needs to understand that part of being with you is respecting you, and if he can't do that you really need to break up with him. This could potentially be a really dangerous situation. If he can't control himself and respect you when all you're doing is cuddling, then who's to say he could if he was mad at you? I'm not saying he is a violent person, but he shows a complete lack of self control and respect for you, which is just unacceptable.

So just sit him down, tell him that he has two choices: Start respecting you and treating you like you deserve, or find someone else. I know that you care about him, but this is just a case where you can't have any tolerance. There is so much potential for you to get hurt. There is no excuse for him treating you like this. End of story. You need to make him realize that, and if he can't, he can do without you.

Sorry if that all comes across as quite harsh, I just don't want you to get hurt, and a guy who doesn't respect his girlfriend and treats her like that is not someone I believe any girl should be around. If you need anything else, just PM me.


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Re: i keep telling him... - November 15th 2009, 08:29 PM

Dont let him push ya around just cuz his your man. If you say no put on a condom and he continues, he's just being a selfish dick. What if he precums alil and you get prego. If he is going to have sex he needs to man up and do the right thing. Talk to him. Put your foot down, its your body, your the one that will have to deal with having a baby inside you. If he doesn't like it then he isnt worth it girl.
   
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Re: i keep telling him... - November 16th 2009, 01:36 AM

Firstly, if you say no and he continues, that is rape.
You have to let him know that No means No.

Secondly, you have to tell him how easy it would be to get you pregnant. Ask him whether he wants to be a daddy.


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Re: i keep telling him... - November 17th 2009, 05:16 AM

I also suggest that you make sure you're not pregnant.

I know you love him, and he says he loves you, but regardless what he is doing is rape.

If he keeps doing it, you should break up with him. Seriously.
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i keep telling him... - November 18th 2009, 06:34 AM

but how can it be rape if he keeps saying he cares and that he loves me alot? x


You don't know about my past, and
I don't have a future figured out.
And maybe this is going too fast.
And maybe it's not meant to last,


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LittleMiss Offline
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Re: i keep telling him... - November 18th 2009, 10:08 AM

It doesn't matter whether he cares or loves you. Rape is when someone has sex with you when you don't want them to. By saying 'no', you're telling him that you don't want to. If he does it anyway, it is against your wishes and that is rape.


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  (#8 (permalink)) Old
xxxskittlesxxx Offline
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Re: i keep telling him... - November 18th 2009, 03:06 PM

oh :| thankyou for telling me! ill mention this to him x


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I don't have a future figured out.
And maybe this is going too fast.
And maybe it's not meant to last,


I AM A BANANA



imi , sophie , me
   
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Re: i keep telling him... - November 18th 2009, 09:24 PM

Don't let him do anything to you that you don't want him to do. I don't care what he says; boys can always stop themselves and not have sex. Always.

While having sex may not seem like a big deal, having unprotected sex sure as hell is. He should always wear a condom if you're not on another form of birth control. If you continually have sex without protection, you will get pregnant.

Talk to him. Set down some rules, and stick to them. First, you will not have sex with him when you don't want to. Second, if he doesn't wear a condom, you don't have sex. End of story. This sounds harsh, but it is the only way to keep yourself protected.



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Re: i keep telling him... - November 20th 2009, 12:48 AM

if he can't respect your boundaries you shouldn't be with him. it sounds like what he's doing is really fucked up. you deserve someone who cares about you enough to make sure you don't get pregnant. talk to him and if he doesn't change dump him.
   
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