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Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, and similar topics, ask here!

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Approaching the topic of sex with the girlfriend... - November 21st 2009, 10:55 PM

So me and my girl have been dating for about 2 and a half months. She's a virgin, and the closest she's come to having sex is making out. I've had sex with previous girlfriends, and she knows this.

What I want to know is how I can approach the situation tactfully, let her know that I want it, but not pressure her into doing it with me. I've been trying to show restraint, letting her take the sexual part of our relationship at a speed that's comfortable for her, but I've gone 5 months without sex, and tbh, it's hard to go from doing it often with one girl to cold turkey...
   
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Re: Approaching the topic of sex with the girlfriend... - November 21st 2009, 11:36 PM

You have to be really blunt. Beating around the bush won't do it. Tell her that you've been wanting to have a conversation with her about sex, that you really want to make love to her, that you want to go at a speed she's comfortable with, but you consider it an important part of your relationship. It's going to be awkward, but she'll be grateful you did and she'll tell you what she's willing to do, if anything, and when. She'll be embarrassed, too, so you can both be embarrassed together.


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Re: Approaching the topic of sex with the girlfriend... - November 22nd 2009, 04:14 AM

I agree with Stephen. Just bring it up to her. Tell her you want to have a serious conversation with her and want to know when and where. If you don't even feel comfortable with that just invite her over bring her into your room or something. That or if you don't even want to talk, hint at it. Go slow, take it a little a time and see how she reacts. You don't want to upset her so if she seems uncomfortable stop right away. Start little and build up. You'll really find up how much she if up for. A girl's virginity is a lot to some girls and she might want to wait until the time is perfect. You won't know until you ask though. Good luck!


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Re: Approaching the topic of sex with the girlfriend... - November 22nd 2009, 11:01 PM

Depends on her age and views of virginity

personally i wouldnt (myself) talk to her about it, i wouldn't want to appear pushy and put her in a situation where she feels like she has to have sex with you, it should be a mutual decision :P

that being said, you probably should talk to her and see how she feels about it.


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Re: Approaching the topic of sex with the girlfriend... - November 23rd 2009, 03:46 AM

She's 17. I'm 18. We're both first year university students. I honestly have no idea what her views on virginity are. It's never really come up in general conversation, lol.
   
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Re: Approaching the topic of sex with the girlfriend... - December 6th 2009, 02:00 AM

yea id say ask her about it but dont be pushy at all. if shes waited this long chances are shes probably waiting for something special.
   
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Re: Approaching the topic of sex with the girlfriend... - December 6th 2009, 10:29 AM

definitely speak to her.. for all you know she may not want to have sex before marriage or something. theres not really an easy way to say it.. and it probably will be a bit awkward, but at least you'll know where you stand. try your best not to make it sound at all like you're getting fed up of not having sex.. or that you're pressuring her, ya know?


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