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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
MaggzB Offline
I love him so much <3
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how did u know - December 3rd 2009, 10:00 PM

im pretty sure im not ready for sex but i was curious how you knew you were ready....

i have come close to being ready but then i had gotta dumped so i was just wondering how you knew you were ready...

i love you <3
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Grizabella Offline
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Re: how did u know - December 3rd 2009, 11:26 PM

It took a long time for me, because I was too worried about what other people's thoughts and values were regarding sex, and wasn't paying enough attention to what I wanted and needed. For me it was important to really start listening to myself, and to ignore what everyone else thought would be best for me.

Not around so much now that school's started

"Live a good life.
If there are gods and they are just,
then they will not care how devout you have been,
but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by.
If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them.
If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life
that will live on in the memories of your loved ones."
Marcus Aurelius
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
MaggzB Offline
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Re: how did u know - December 4th 2009, 02:22 AM

ty for sharing

i love you <3
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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: how did u know - December 4th 2009, 01:08 PM

Well, I'm in a long-term relation ship, we were both comfortable with each other and we love each other very much.

I'm lazy so I'll quote an old post of mine.

I break it down into these things:

When you're completely comfortable intellectually with your partner. As in, you can talk to them about anything; your body, their body, anything.

When you're comfortable emotionally with your partner. You go to them if you're feeling down and they help you, they make you feel 100% safe from anything, you care for each other and have trust and honesty in your relationship. These things take a lot of time though.

You have to be comfortable physically with each other. Imagine the things you would do together and think realistically how that would impact on you emotionally. (And not just how it would be if it was great, think of how it would be if it sucked too. You have to be okay with all options.)

You must make sure that your relationship is about love and trust, not lust.
Love can be confused with lust, that feeling you get with another person and how they're every so attractive and you just want to kiss them all the time, thrown them down on a bed and give it to them.
You need to feel a companionship with your significant other, you also need to be sure that they're not just hanging around for sex. That goes for you too. You need to be sure that you're both ready and your relationship will still be about life together, not sex.

You must have no guilt.
If you're young and are close to your parents think about this: if you had sex and would feel bad about hiding it from your parents, this can cause you to feel very guilty and can turn your notion of it into a bad thing. It can also put a strain on your relationship with your partner.
Also think about whether you would feel bad about it afterwards, not because anyone else may not approve, but whether you approve. Your virginity is a special thing and shouldn't be given lightly; you only have it once, when it's gone, it's gone.
Sex is a beautiful thing but if you would feel guilty about doing it, it can really spoil it. But you shouldn't feel guilty about it. If you don't feel guilty, then that's one huge obstacle gone out of your way.

Take it slow, you have your life ahead of you.
There's no shame in being a virgin when you're twenty, no shame in losing it when your thirteen as long as you know you made the right choice and look back on it and have no regrets.
Too often I meet girls (or boys) who wish they waited until they were older. People who went to parties and lost it in a haze of alcohol or drugs. People who were pressured into it or felt that they weren't ready. People who thought they were ready and realised they weren't.

Remember, sex is beautiful and wonderful. Don't let it be anything else.

Happy to talk about anything and everything.
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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: how did u know - December 4th 2009, 07:44 PM

Hey Maggie,

When I first had sex, I thought I was ready, and in a long term relationship, and thought I'd be with the guy for a while, so I thought I was ready for it.

Turns out I wasn't.. I do regret it, I do wish that I had thought about it more, but now I've promised myself to wait until I am married, because I'm just not ready.

So really, I believe that you will know when your really ready, but when you think your ready, think about if you will be with this person, or if you want to be with this person for a while.

PM me anytime

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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: how did u know - December 5th 2009, 01:35 PM

heyy, well my first time was with my current bf and it was his first time too....

when it came to us having sex it wasnt really the fact of realising i was ready.
it was realising that i am closer to him than i am to anyone else and that we understand each other more than anyone else.
i dont know if you get were im getting at. but it was just a matter of realising your extreme closeness to this person and then wanting to take it to the next level..
i dont know if i have explained well were i am gettting at and if anyone else understands? but thats what it felt like to meeeeee (:
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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oh, really?..
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Re: how did u know - December 5th 2009, 02:30 PM

if i'm honest, i never gave any thought to whether i was "ready" or not.. looking back, i probably wasn't completely ready but it didn't bother me. i think people place way too much importance on virginity. that's just my view on it, though.

..and our dreams will break the boundaries of our fears..

  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: how did u know - December 5th 2009, 05:48 PM

I haven't had sex yet but I often wonder the same thing. I think you'll know when you're ready. My guy and I haven't been together but almost a week and we talk about all the different scenarios when it comes to sex already. We aren't going to be having it anytime soon as we need to know each other more and he doesn't want me to rush into anything.I'm a virgin and he's not. When you and he can talk about sex openly, what kind of birth control you want to use condoms, the pill, both, etc. And If you can talk about the repercussions of engaging in sex and how it will affect you mentally, physically, and emotionally you are on the right track. Just make sure to keep an open line of communication and to let your partner know how you feel about the situation and ask how they feel. It'll happen in time.
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: how did u know - December 6th 2009, 01:41 AM

It felt right. He was someone that I cared for greatly, he was someone that I had a lot of history with. We always said that I was going to lose my virginity to him (he wasn't a virgin) because it felt right for both of us to have that physical connection. I knew it was what I wanted (even though we weren't in a relationship), so I went for it.

  (#10 (permalink)) Old
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Re: how did u know - December 8th 2009, 09:37 PM

I didnt think loosing my virginity would be a big thing or important.
And at the time I felt like I didnt want to wait until I was older because I thought I would never find anyone that I would trust.
So it was with a friend, which I regret.
I dont even talk to the guy anymore
I shouldnt have been impatient.

So I dont think there is a way to know that you're ready, and everyones different.
Its just how you feel.
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
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Re: how did u know - December 10th 2009, 04:14 AM

When I realized how much I loved him, and that he felt exactly the same way about me.
We're in a serious relationship and wanted to take the next step and it's an expression of love.

How's your life? It's been a while
God, it's good to see you smile

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