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Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, and similar topics, ask here!

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Sex is a Physical Impossibility - April 7th 2010, 01:58 AM

This thread has been labeled as non-PG13 by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for younger users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I recently met a girl that I honestly think I love. I know that I'm 17 and to immature to feel "true love" but it feels real. Anyways she wants to have sex but I can't. Not that I don't want to that is far from the truth. I have never gained flexibility in my penis. Whilst fully erect I can't even move it without pain. I'm 5 1/2 inches which I know is pretty small. Atleast compared to most people I know it is. How am I ever supposed to have sex when I can't even move it.

It's the only reason I haven't been able to open up to any of my girlfriends. Here I go crying again. Anyone else having this problem? Anyway to fix it? I'm tired of being a virgin.

Don't feed me your "Save it for the right person" bullshit. Give me some helpful advice. This has driven me mad and even made suicidal many times.
   
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Re: Sex is a Physical Impossibility - April 7th 2010, 02:00 AM

Your best bet is to see a doctor





   
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Re: Sex is a Physical Impossibility - April 7th 2010, 02:04 AM

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Originally Posted by BabyIndia View Post
Your best bet is to see a doctor
Damn I didn't think it was a medical condition. Let me search it up and see what I can find.
   
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Re: Sex is a Physical Impossibility - April 7th 2010, 02:04 AM

I would also advise going to see a doctor, they will be able to suggest something to help



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Re: Sex is a Physical Impossibility - April 7th 2010, 02:15 AM

I'm sorry, maybe I'm having trouble understanding... so when you're erect, if you even just touch your penis, it hurts? That definitely sounds like a medical problem, I think it's fairly rare for a guy to feel pain there, unless they've been too rough... And I think that if you feel ready to have sex with this girl, you should feel comfortable enough to explain the situation to her. And remember there are other kinds of sex you can have without hurting yourself. But like everyone else said, definitely go see a doctor.



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Re: Sex is a Physical Impossibility - April 7th 2010, 02:16 AM

Sorry but were you taking the piss with my answer?





   
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Re: Sex is a Physical Impossibility - April 7th 2010, 03:12 AM

Not pain per se but more along the lines of extremely uncomfortable. Imagine trying to bend your finger the wrong way.
   
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Re: Sex is a Physical Impossibility - April 7th 2010, 03:21 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShimmeringFaerie View Post
I'm sorry, maybe I'm having trouble understanding... so when you're erect, if you even just touch your penis, it hurts? That definitely sounds like a medical problem, I think it's fairly rare for a guy to feel pain there, unless they've been too rough... And I think that if you feel ready to have sex with this girl, you should feel comfortable enough to explain the situation to her. And remember there are other kinds of sex you can have without hurting yourself. But like everyone else said, definitely go see a doctor.
I'm not saying we are going to have sex anytime soon we aren't even dating. Sorry if I wasn't clear before but we are planning on dating and she clearly stated that sex is a big part of her relationships. So it's not me who is the one ready it is her. I have been ridiculed many times for my size and problem so I'd rather try and fix it than actually tell her. It is bad to the point that she couldn't even give me fellatio properly. I'm hopeless when it comes to girls. I have never been able to open up to anyone and that is why many of my relationships head downhill. I really don't want to fuck it up with this girl.

I fucking hate myself.
   
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Re: Sex is a Physical Impossibility - April 7th 2010, 04:12 AM

Hey buddy don't say that. Talk to her about the problem, I'm sure she'll understand plus 5 and 1/2 inches is about average size for a fully grown man. When you consider the fact that the vagina is 5-6 inches anyway it doesn't make sense to have a penis any larger than that. As for your other problem I would go see a doctor. Hope I helped
   
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Re: Sex is a Physical Impossibility - April 8th 2010, 06:08 PM

What do you mean by it hurts though? Which part of the penis hurts? What kind of pain do you feel?
   
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Re: Sex is a Physical Impossibility - April 8th 2010, 07:21 PM

I'm not going to say save it, but I'm going to say I'm glad to hear that you know that you're too immature. Keep it up because a lot of people screw up their lives becase they view themselves as overmature.

I really think you should see a doctor like the others have said. If you can't flex your penis that's a problem. You want to have sex and you have the right to. We can't help you much more. Go in there and say, "Doc, I can't have sex and I want to, what's wrong with me?"


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Re: Sex is a Physical Impossibility - April 8th 2010, 09:53 PM

Hi Readein!!!

First off...... your penis is NOT 'pretty small'. It's not even 'slightly small'. In fact - it has nothing to do with 'small'. So stop believing that LIE. Many controlled size studies [i.e. studies where doctor's actually measured the penises IN the study] have concluded that the average size is anywhere from 5 to 5 1/2 inches long. And that's on a fully grown adult. Size wise - your penis is perfectly fine. The fact that you have been 'ridiculed many times for your size' proves only one thing. Those who 'ridiculed' you are both insensitive AND ignorant. To be more blunt - they are full of shit!!

FACT IS - there a MILLIONS of guys in the world who would LOVE to have a penis as BIG as YOUR penis!

Secondly...... PAIN [Or 'discomfort' that interferes with ones ability to do those things we might like to do with our body] is always a sign that something isn't quite right. Whether you like it or not - and IF you are serious about one day having sex - YOU have no choice. YOU are going to have to see a doctor. And if you think that would be too embarrassing - well - join the club. EVERYONE feels embarrassed about going to the doctor to talk about a sexual problem. And that's exactly what you have. And although - to YOU - it's a BIG DEAL [And it is] to a doctor - you're just another guy with a penis problem. One of dozens of guys the doctor will see every month.

You didn't say if your penis is circumcised or not. [Whether or not your foreskin was removed] IF it was - it's possible that it was cut off in such a way as to make the skin too tight - causing you pain. Can you move the skin on the shaft of your penis when it's erect? OR is it super tight? If it is super tight - that might be the cause of your problem. Whatever it is - a doctor should be able to help.

Let us know what the doctor says. OK?!

GBH - Craig!!
   
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Re: Sex is a Physical Impossibility - April 8th 2010, 10:56 PM

Hey there!

Pretty much agree with other posters.
but speaking with your girlfriend - Is a good idea, which may sort out the emotional side of things.
which IMO, could help alot!


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Re: Sex is a Physical Impossibility - April 8th 2010, 11:39 PM

Quote:
I'm not saying we are going to have sex anytime soon we aren't even dating. Sorry if I wasn't clear before but we are planning on dating and she clearly stated that sex is a big part of her relationships. So it's not me who is the one ready it is her. I have been ridiculed many times for my size and problem so I'd rather try and fix it than actually tell her. It is bad to the point that she couldn't even give me fellatio properly. I'm hopeless when it comes to girls. I have never been able to open up to anyone and that is why many of my relationships head downhill. I really don't want to fuck it up with this girl.

I fucking hate myself.
Alright, but if it's already got to the point where she is giving you fellatio, wouldn't she have figured out that there is a problem? I maintain that you need to talk to her. If you care about her, you should be able to share stuff like this with her. Otherwise, she is likely to end up feeling like you don't care about her or trust her.



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Last edited by Mel; April 9th 2010 at 12:15 AM. Reason: Removing quoted post which was removed.
   
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Re: Sex is a Physical Impossibility - April 13th 2010, 04:43 AM

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Originally Posted by ShimmeringFaerie View Post
Alright, but if it's already got to the point where she is giving you fellatio, wouldn't she have figured out that there is a problem? I maintain that you need to talk to her. If you care about her, you should be able to share stuff like this with her. Otherwise, she is likely to end up feeling like you don't care about her or trust her.
I meant that she couldn't if she wanted to. I'm going to try to explain this because it is a bit hard to do so. We aren't dating the furthest we went was making out whilst drunk. Surprisingly this is how we found out the we liked each other. We had always liked each other but never said anything. She didn't tell me that sex is a big part of her relationships but told her cousin which has been my best friend since middle school so understandably he told me. I really like this girl but unsure about dating her because of the problem I mentioned earlier. So it would be a bit weird sitting down and talking to her about sex when we are not even dating yet.

To everyone else it isn't really pain. To all the guys out there remember before you hit puberty and your penis would stand straight up when erect and uncomfortable to move down? It's supposed to go away shortly after puberty but it never did for me. So it is something most men experience but mine just hasn't gone away. I'm almost positive that it will go away eventually but I'm 17 and frankly I think I'm emotionally ready for sex but physically incapable. To me sex isn't really a big deal. Don't get me wrong I could go without sex for years.

Damn this is getting long but I feel I need to say something else. I am depressed and every time I get happiness I somehow ruin it for myself by thinking to much hence this topic. I am talking about something I probably won't have to face for a while.
   
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Re: Sex is a Physical Impossibility - April 13th 2010, 04:47 AM

Also I turn 18 in October so I really don't see why I wouldn't be ready for sex. I enjoy all the advice but please don't talk down to me.
   
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Re: Sex is a Physical Impossibility - April 13th 2010, 07:01 AM

First of all, I once met a guy, maybe an inch...HARD! You have nothing to worry about! Now, please go to the doctor. I'm sure there's something they can do to help you. Talk to your friend there and let her know that you're going to go to the doctor, and that you could use her support...as a friend. And I want to say something about true love here. I met this guy when I was 14, 2.5 months after I turned 14. A friend of mine introduced us over the phone and from the moment I heard his voice, I knew he was the one I wanted to spend my life with. I'll be 25 next month and am now married to that guy (5 years in August) and have 2 kids with him. True love CAN happen at any age. There's no such thing as not knowing what love is due to age. We love our parents right from the get go!
   
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Re: Sex is a Physical Impossibility - April 13th 2010, 08:39 AM

I'm not necessarily worried about my size. Also sorry for my response time I was kicked out for 5 days. After searching the internet I've came to the conclusion that I just need to wait a few more years. *sigh* Here we go depression.
   
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Re: Sex is a Physical Impossibility - April 13th 2010, 09:32 AM

Firstly, I don't believe anyone here was talking down to you.

Secondly, I don't understand why you are so utterly convinced that it it physically impossible for you to have sex if you haven't tried it. You seem to be making a lot of assumptions that aren't necessarily true. I'll admit that, being a girl, I don't quite understand what you mean, but since you are now saying that it isn't pain, it's just uncomfortable, I think you might be assuming too much.

Thirdly, not dating a girl because of the possibility of problems later on? If you like her and you want to date her, you should just ask her. If sex is very important to her and you are physically incapable of it, I already pointed out that there are other ways to please her that won't hurt you. If you like each other enough, you can sort these problems out when you come to them.

Fourthly, I'm sorry if my whole post comes across as harsh, but I think that you are over-thinking things here. And I think spending your whole life worrying and thinking is a horrible thing to do. I do the same thing and sometimes I just need someone to shake me and say "stop worrying!" So maybe that will help you .



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Re: Sex is a Physical Impossibility - April 14th 2010, 08:11 AM

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Originally Posted by ShimmeringFaerie View Post
Firstly, I don't believe anyone here was talking down to you.

Secondly, I don't understand why you are so utterly convinced that it it physically impossible for you to have sex if you haven't tried it. You seem to be making a lot of assumptions that aren't necessarily true. I'll admit that, being a girl, I don't quite understand what you mean, but since you are now saying that it isn't pain, it's just uncomfortable, I think you might be assuming too much.

Thirdly, not dating a girl because of the possibility of problems later on? If you like her and you want to date her, you should just ask her. If sex is very important to her and you are physically incapable of it, I already pointed out that there are other ways to please her that won't hurt you. If you like each other enough, you can sort these problems out when you come to them.

Fourthly, I'm sorry if my whole post comes across as harsh, but I think that you are over-thinking things here. And I think spending your whole life worrying and thinking is a horrible thing to do. I do the same thing and sometimes I just need someone to shake me and say "stop worrying!" So maybe that will help you .
I know what you mean. I over-analyze each and everything in my life but I can't help it. By the way by clever wording I basically already told her that I didn't want sex and she didn't seem to have a problem with it. Although I've come to find when a girl says they don't have a problem with something it could be quite the opposite. By the way I'm the same guy who started the "Why are People so Stupid?" thread and I would like to personally apologize to you and anyone else I offended.

Okay here is the news I have been withholding because I was scared of judgement but you people seem to be level headed so here it goes. The girl I speak of is 14. Although I feel a strong emotional connection with her that I have never felt before. When I'm around her I'm happy which is a very alien feeling to me. When she is in my arms my eyes well up with tears.
   
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Re: Sex is a Physical Impossibility - April 14th 2010, 10:13 AM

i agree with the others...I believe that is something you should ask a doctor about. But I'm just wondering are you circumsized or no? If not i think i may know a possibility.

And 17 is not to "immature" to experience real love. I fell madly in love when i was 16, and by 17 i had a son. I know i was in love and that it was real because i married him and i am still madly in love with him. people mature at different ages and don't let anyone tell you that you are too young to realize what love is. That is total BS!




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Re: Sex is a Physical Impossibility - April 15th 2010, 02:06 AM

I am circumsized.
   
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Re: Sex is a Physical Impossibility - April 15th 2010, 06:28 PM

Your not alone with that discomfort, I'm uncircumcised, but if my pulls my foreskin back and plays around with my penis that way the head hurts, but with the fore skin up it doesn't.

I think you should go for getting in a relationship with this girl she obviously likes you and although she may want sex or more physical activities later on she obviously wants to make it work with you and like people have mentioned you don't need to use your penis to make her feel good my gf and I didn't start using our private parts for pleasure until about 5.5 months in and we aren't having sex.

I'm sorry if I said anything offensive to you in that post about the Why is virginity stupid.

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Re: Sex is a Physical Impossibility - April 16th 2010, 07:50 AM

oh ok well never mind. I know sometimes when guys aren't circumsized the foreskin doesn't detach from the penis and when you get an erection it pulls the skin and it hurts. My cousin had to have surgery because of it.




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Re: Sex is a Physical Impossibility - April 17th 2010, 11:17 AM

5 inches is actually average size for men, don't fret about that. anyone who's ridiculing you for it is pretty stupid.

Anyway, seeing as how my boyfriend enjoys doing weird things with his penis when we're fooling around, I think it feeling the way you described when you try to move it is an odd thing and you should tell a doctor in case something is wrong.

Now onto other matters. You said you met her recently. Why are you worrying about having sex with her for? Even if she wants to, you shouldn't rush into it, especially if you may want a longer relationship with her. Sex can get boring fast and if you use the most exciting thing you can do together quickly, then you might start getting bored of eachother or something, you know what I'm getting at?
   
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Re: Sex is a Physical Impossibility - April 17th 2010, 04:41 PM

It really doesn't sound that normal to me man, you need to see a doctor. I've been to the doctor once involving penis issues and it wasn't even that bad, a little awkward but not much.

Since you're circumcised maybe they butchered you up the wrong way? I only say that because you said your erection goes upwards, so maybe there is not enough skin to just let it go down a bit.
   
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