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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Why do parents disapprove of porn? - December 5th 2010, 06:35 PM

I realize that parents don't want their children to make bad decisions or become sexual at a young age. I also understand that pornography is very unrealistic and could give a young person the wrong ideas about real sex. However, I don't understand why some parents are so strongly against their teens watching porn. I'm going to be seventeen soon, which means just a year after that I'll be legally old enough to watch it anyway. If masturbation is normal and you're just using it to get you off, is porn really all that bad? I totally get why some parents wouldn't be comfortable with the idea. I know if I had a kid I'd be uncomfortable with it at first. But I just don't get why my parents are so against it. It makes me feel like a bad person for watching it.
   
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Re: Why do parents disapprove of porn? - December 5th 2010, 06:38 PM

I think you've pretty much answered your own question there.
   
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Re: Why do parents disapprove of porn? - December 5th 2010, 06:41 PM

I would be surpried if a parent was ok with their child watching porn. O.o


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Re: Why do parents disapprove of porn? - December 5th 2010, 06:43 PM

From my observation, parents like to be in control of what their kids watch and such. Giving them access to the internet and not preventing them from accessing pornography, they aren't in control. At least that's what I've witnessed.



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Re: Why do parents disapprove of porn? - December 5th 2010, 06:45 PM

Well, yeah, I already get that. But do they realize that by telling them it's bad, they give them the impression that their curiosity or sexual feelings are wrong? I mean, wouldn't it be better to just sit them down and talk to them about why they feel that way instead of saying it's wrong and they shouldn't watch it?

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From my observation, parents like to be in control of what their kids watch and such. Giving them access to the internet and not preventing them from accessing pornography, they aren't in control. At least that's what I've witnessed.
And good point. I think it might also make them feel like their children are growing up too fast.
   
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Re: Why do parents disapprove of porn? - December 5th 2010, 06:47 PM

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Originally Posted by Spider*man(girl) View Post
I would be surpried if a parent was ok with their child watching porn. O.o
Be surprised. My mom kinda 'knows' I watch it sometimes. It's weird. Not to mention she has over 40 porn videos in her closet, which of all I find untasteful. Ugh. xD Anyway, I think it depends on how laid back your parents are. As long as you aren't looking up porn on THEIR computer. *cough cough* my brother *cough cough*. But yeah... Porn is porn, and parents are parents. They are two different things, yet they interact together. Parents have the right to their opinion, as do you.

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Re: Why do parents disapprove of porn? - December 5th 2010, 06:48 PM

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Originally Posted by LittleFish View Post
Well, yeah, I already get that. But do they realize that by telling them it's bad, they give them the impression that their curiosity or sexual feelings are wrong? I mean, wouldn't it be better to just sit them down and talk to them about why they feel that way instead of saying it's wrong and they shouldn't watch it?
I agree they should talk to the child about it, but they should not approve of children watching porn.


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Re: Why do parents disapprove of porn? - December 5th 2010, 06:50 PM

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Originally Posted by LittleFish View Post
I realize that parents don't want their children to make bad decisions or become sexual at a young age. I also understand that pornography is very unrealistic and could give a young person the wrong ideas about real sex. However, I don't understand why some parents are so strongly against their teens watching porn. I'm going to be seventeen soon, which means just a year after that I'll be legally old enough to watch it anyway. If masturbation is normal and you're just using it to get you off, is porn really all that bad? I totally get why some parents wouldn't be comfortable with the idea. I know if I had a kid I'd be uncomfortable with it at first. But I just don't get why my parents are so against it. It makes me feel like a bad person for watching it.
i think it's because some parents hate thinking there children are growing up and like to think they are innocent sweet angels. They find it hard to believe or see it any other way.
Put it this way though, any parents that say porn or sex is wrong are just fools, i bet they have or do still watch porn and have sex! so yh.
   
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Re: Why do parents disapprove of porn? - December 5th 2010, 07:01 PM

So maybe it's not that they think it's wrong, but that they simply aren't comfortable with their children taking such a huge step toward growing up. Because exploring sexuality is definitely a big step.
   
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Re: Why do parents disapprove of porn? - December 5th 2010, 07:02 PM

I think that it's because they're parents and they raise their children the way that they see fit. If they don't want their children watching porn, then I don't think that it's something to negotiate. It's okay to talk to your children about these things... I think it's actually good to talk to your children, but there is a time for everything and I would probably not be cool with my 12-16 year old watching porn. A little bit older, I don't know... maybe. But it would depend on the individual maturity level of the teen.


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Re: Why do parents disapprove of porn? - December 5th 2010, 07:09 PM

Well yeah, they're children. Porn isn't for children. That's why parents disapprove.


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Re: Why do parents disapprove of porn? - December 5th 2010, 07:17 PM

Well, yeah, like 12 is way too young in my opinion. But I think 16-17 is old enough, considering porn can be legally purchased at 18. Like you said, though, it really depends on their maturity level.
   
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Re: Why do parents disapprove of porn? - December 5th 2010, 07:26 PM

I wouldn't approve of my children watching porn.


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Re: Why do parents disapprove of porn? - December 5th 2010, 08:59 PM

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Originally Posted by Spider*man(girl) View Post

I agree they should talk to the child about it, but they should not approve of children watching porn.
But, why? I'm trying to start a debate, I'm just curious. The only "bad" thing I see with porn is it may give people a bad body image as a lot of famous porn stars are caked in make-up or have had plastic surgery.

Edit: As for actual children watching porn (16 or under) is wrong, I agree, but if you're older I don't really see the problem.


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Re: Why do parents disapprove of porn? - December 5th 2010, 09:13 PM

I think it's mostly that if their kids start watch porn, parents assume the next thing is that they'll start having sex. Having sex is a grown up thing, and no one wants their babies to grow up.

Personally, I'm against porn because too many people are forced into and/or trapped in the industry, and it's more or less impossible to know who is there voluntarily and who is being victimized. That's why I'll be mad if my future children watch it. They can read dirty stories and flip through Victoria's Secret ads all they want, but I don't want them watching porn.


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Re: Why do parents disapprove of porn? - December 5th 2010, 11:10 PM

I watch porn. My mother is aware I watch porn. She's not happy with it, but she's not out to stop me , either. Would I be 'cool' with my children watching porn? I'm sure I'd feel the same way as my mother. I wouldn't be out there buying them porn films, but I'd accept it as a part of growing up. Depending on their age, I doubt I'd feel the need to set privacy controls or limit computer time/activity.
   
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Re: Why do parents disapprove of porn? - December 6th 2010, 01:23 AM

I think some parents consider that porn devalues sex and sets unrealistic expectations for sexual encounters. From what I understand, parents aren't necessarily against it, but they try to not get involved when it comes to their kid watching it. Don't ask, don't tell. They're not going to outwardly support something illegal.
   
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Re: Why do parents disapprove of porn? - December 6th 2010, 01:41 AM

Well if you have to be 18 to purchase it, why should parents let their 15, 16, 17 year olds watch it? That sounds to me a lot like giving underage people cigarettes or alcohol... It's illegal.

But that's not the main reason that I wouldn't allow my son to watch it with my knowledge. For me, it would be because it devalues sex and is fake... it'll give him unrealistic expectations and he might be let down when he is finally with a real woman and doesn't get the same kind of sex that he's watched.


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Re: Why do parents disapprove of porn? - December 6th 2010, 02:47 AM

Knowing me, I'll probably be the cruel mom who has ridiculous parental control on my child's computer. I know I would have hated it if my mom had done that, but for this reason, it's necessary. Given all the trouble I got myself into online whilst a minor, and I didn't even watch porn, I would not want my child to make the same mistake or even greater mistakes.

Granted, sheltering children isn't necessarily the best way out, but it's better than having them become sex addicts at an early age. I guess you can say I was somewhat sheltered, even though I had a computer in my room with unlimited internet access at all hours of the day.

I would not knowingly allow my child to watch porn because they will be exposed to sexual references and images soon enough. In today's society, children do not have to "watch" porn to become exposed to it. We live in a world centered completely around sex, and I cannot approve of it. Maybe it's the "old school" way I was raised; my mother was raised by older parents and instilled her values into me.

I understand the perspective from a sixteen or seventeen year old. It's like, why can't twenty year olds buy alcohol in the United States? Why can't seventeen year olds buy cigarettes? It's the law. There may not seem like there's a big difference between seventeen and eighteen, but they had to draw the line somewhere, because there sure is a difference between ten and eighteen.

Honestly, I believe pornography is morally wrong, and even if I had an eighteen-year-old child, I would not knowingly allow them to watch pornography under my roof, because it's my house and thus they must abide by my rules even if they are of legal age. It's that simple. Parents don't need a reason to banish their children from doing something as long as they live under their roof.

Now I'm starting to sound like my mom. >_> My poor future children.


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Re: Why do parents disapprove of porn? - December 6th 2010, 06:40 AM

not sure if im the first guy or not.... but my dad was very open with about that and told me it was normal to watch it and actually gave me his old "skin bin" from before he met my mom.... my mom on the other hand is very prudish and totally avoided the subject and any dealings with porn and questions i had...

i think its perfectly normal to watch and your child could do much more..... i think around puberty level is okay so 13-14.... so id be completelly okay with my kid watching porn at around that age..

for privacy controls we all know we would have found ways around them and certain sites being blocked would have made us even more curious..
   
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Re: Why do parents disapprove of porn? - December 6th 2010, 08:08 AM

When my mom caught me watching pornography, she was supportive by offering to buy me playboy magazines. Of course, feeling awkward, I quickly declined. She said the reason why she didn't want me watching internet pornography is because it's "fake" and that I should instead look at pictures. I've been watching pornography since I was 8 years old, and it hasn't really negatively affected me. I felt obligated to lose my virginity, not because of pornography, but because of society's views on what it means to be a "man." Regardless of whether I watch porn or not, I have biological desires so I wouldn't be able to change that. If anything, I have a dependency on pornography for visual stimulation, but I'm not doing drugs, drinking alcohol, or smoking cigarettes. When I had sex for the first time, I was well aware (and pretty spot on) of what my first sexual experience was going to be like and therefore wasn't very disappointed in my performance. And of course, I'm not in jail for anything that's related to rape or sexual harassment. And I've been watching internet porn for 12 years so...I don't see anything bad with it. If a kid wants to masturbate, I'd say give him some tissues and let him do his business. My mom was supportive and therefore I never really felt the need to rebel against her. She only mentioned Playboy magazines once, and she said she'd even buy me condoms if I ever wanted to have sex with a girl (but I never did). So I'm gonna be the same way -- let them know that what they're looking at is potentially not realistic, not to meet up with anyone on the internet, and let me know if there's a problem. 'Cause if you tell a kid not to do something, then there's still a chance that they're gonna do it anyway. The question is will they tell you?



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Re: Why do parents disapprove of porn? - December 6th 2010, 08:29 PM

Pornography, as a function of pop-culture, plays a large role in shaping the ideologies around sexuality, gender roles and interpersonal relationships. It goes beyond the realm of fantasy, and has a profound psychological impact on how the population as a whole perceives the male and female gender roles, how the population perceives inter-personal relationships and ultimately the act of sex. Pornography has, by virtue of it's pop-culture status, contributed to the perversion of sex. It has enormous ideological effect, just as any mass-media or pop-cultural content does.


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Re: Why do parents disapprove of porn? - December 6th 2010, 08:57 PM

Is there anyway your parents can tell you watched porn if you deleted the history? And can they see if you did if you watched it on an ipod but deleted the history? like can they see it on the bill?
   
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Re: Why do parents disapprove of porn? - December 6th 2010, 09:05 PM

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Is there anyway your parents can tell you watched porn if you deleted the history? And can they see if you did if you watched it on an ipod but deleted the history? like can they see it on the bill?
Usually, no. But I know how to pull up history, even if it's been deleted and I would imagine that some parents know how to as well.

Edit- However, if your browser has a "private browsing" option, nothing is stored in the history or anything while you're in private browsing mode.


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Re: Why do parents disapprove of porn? - December 6th 2010, 09:39 PM

but like if you watch it on your ipod there's no way they can see what sites you've been on if you delete the history?
   
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Re: Why do parents disapprove of porn? - December 6th 2010, 10:44 PM

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Pornography, as a function of pop-culture, plays a large role in shaping the ideologies around sexuality, gender roles and interpersonal relationships. It goes beyond the realm of fantasy, and has a profound psychological impact on how the population as a whole perceives the male and female gender roles, how the population perceives inter-personal relationships and ultimately the act of sex. Pornography has, by virtue of it's pop-culture status, contributed to the perversion of sex. It has enormous ideological effect, just as any mass-media or pop-cultural content does.
The key word here is contributed. Getting rid of pornography will definitely not get rid of the perversion of sex. And arguably, perversion of sex has existed even beyond pornography's existence. Pornography isn't responsible, it's just a contributing factor. Are you saying that pornography is bad?



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Re: Why do parents disapprove of porn? - December 7th 2010, 03:37 AM

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Is there anyway your parents can tell you watched porn if you deleted the history? And can they see if you did if you watched it on an ipod but deleted the history? like can they see it on the bill?
Well, there's always ways to tell pretty much no matter what you do, but unless your parents have a degree in computer forensics, deleting the history/using private browsing mode normally does the trick.


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Re: Why do parents disapprove of porn? - December 7th 2010, 11:48 AM

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The key word here is contributed. Getting rid of pornography will definitely not get rid of the perversion of sex. And arguably, perversion of sex has existed even beyond pornography's existence. Pornography isn't responsible, it's just a contributing factor. Are you saying that pornography is bad?
No, but I am saying that I understand why parents disapprove. Why would you approve of anything that could potentially distort your child's view of a beautiful act, like sex? I would not parentally block my child's computer, however I would never encourage the observation of porn (i.e. buying my son sexually perverse magazines)


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Re: Why do parents disapprove of porn? - December 7th 2010, 01:45 PM

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Why would you approve of anything that could potentially distort your child's view of a beautiful act, like sex?
So you're going to ban all romance novels, or all books that somehow involve sex? All songs about sex? Erotic art? All biology textbooks, because they present it in technical terms instead of as a "beautiful act"? Hell, you should probably prevent yourself from talking about sex as a "beautiful act", because it isn't always, and telling your child that it is could distort their view.

If you're trying to keep your child free from any cultural influence about sex, you're going to have to smother it at birth.



   
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Re: Why do parents disapprove of porn? - December 7th 2010, 02:31 PM

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No, but I am saying that I understand why parents disapprove. Why would you approve of anything that could potentially distort your child's view of a beautiful act, like sex? I would not parentally block my child's computer, however I would never encourage the observation of porn (i.e. buying my son sexually perverse magazines)
I responded to this in your thread, located in the current events/debates.



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Re: Why do parents disapprove of porn? - December 7th 2010, 11:56 PM

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So you're going to ban all romance novels, or all books that somehow involve sex? All songs about sex? Erotic art? All biology textbooks, because they present it in technical terms instead of as a "beautiful act"? Hell, you should probably prevent yourself from talking about sex as a "beautiful act", because it isn't always, and telling your child that it is could distort their view.

If you're trying to keep your child free from any cultural influence about sex, you're going to have to smother it at birth.
Absolutely not! Reading back over what I typed, I understand how you interpreted what I said, but that is not at all what I meant. I am very for the open honest discussion of sex, and its many connotations. I would just want my child to understand the realties of it versus the distortion. I would never promote it because of the way I feel it negatively portrays women, however I am very liberal and all for exploration and learning. I would just want my child to be fully educated before getting an idea of sex that is very, very wrong (for example, that it's easy, when in reality for many people, it's not).


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Re: Why do parents disapprove of porn? - December 8th 2010, 06:50 PM

I am not going to allow my child to watch porn until they are 18. Watching porn under 18 is illegal. I don't care how many people watch it illegally, I am not going to condone illegal activities in my household.
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Re: Why do parents disapprove of porn? - December 9th 2010, 04:23 PM

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I am not going to allow my child to watch porn until they are 18. Watching porn under 18 is illegal. I don't care how many people watch it illegally, I am not going to condone illegal activities in my household.
never thought of that actualy. yh but i don't think the police do much about it do they? i mean,what could they do? lol. porn is a good way for teens to get there frustration out and personally i think it's pathetic that it's illegal to watch! if it's legal to have sex at 16 then why should watching porn be illegal until theey are 18? thats why i don't follow stupid laws like that lol
   
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Re: Why do parents disapprove of porn? - December 9th 2010, 04:47 PM

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Originally Posted by I-Love-him View Post
never thought of that actualy. yh but i don't think the police do much about it do they? i mean,what could they do? lol. porn is a good way for teens to get there frustration out and personally i think it's pathetic that it's illegal to watch! if it's legal to have sex at 16 then why should watching porn be illegal until theey are 18? thats why i don't follow stupid laws like that lol
Even if the police don't do anything, it's still illegal. I am not going to condone illegal activities in my household ever. The kid will be just fine if they don't watch porn until they are 18.
I realize that they will probably look at porn at a friend's house or something like that, but I am gong to try my best to keep them away from that.
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Re: Why do parents disapprove of porn? - December 10th 2010, 01:29 AM

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i think it's because some parents hate thinking there children are growing up and like to think they are innocent sweet angels.
This is so true parents think that we must be their baby boys or girls for ever (lets rebal )

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Originally Posted by Brandon View Post
When my mom caught me watching pornography, she was supportive by offering to buy me playboy magazines. Of course, feeling awkward, I quickly declined. She said the reason why she didn't want me watching internet pornography is because it's "fake" and that I should instead look at pictures. I've been watching pornography since I was 8 years old, and it hasn't really negatively affected me. I felt obligated to lose my virginity, not because of pornography, but because of society's views on what it means to be a "man." Regardless of whether I watch porn or not, I have biological desires so I wouldn't be able to change that. If anything, I have a dependency on pornography for visual stimulation, but I'm not doing drugs, drinking alcohol, or smoking cigarettes. When I had sex for the first time, I was well aware (and pretty spot on) of what my first sexual experience was going to be like and therefore wasn't very disappointed in my performance. And of course, I'm not in jail for anything that's related to rape or sexual harassment. And I've been watching internet porn for 12 years so...I don't see anything bad with it. If a kid wants to masturbate, I'd say give him some tissues and let him do his business. My mom was supportive and therefore I never really felt the need to rebel against her. She only mentioned Playboy magazines once, and she said she'd even buy me condoms if I ever wanted to have sex with a girl (but I never did). So I'm gonna be the same way -- let them know that what they're looking at is potentially not realistic, not to meet up with anyone on the internet, and let me know if there's a problem. 'Cause if you tell a kid not to do something, then there's still a chance that they're gonna do it anyway. The question is will they tell you?

Dude you mom sounds awesome! and i totaly agree with what she did! not telling you not to do it, cos if someone wants to do something parents saying no and tightening up the rules will proberly only make them want to do it more


Personally im not into porn but i dont really have a problem with it.
and i wouldnt want my kids to look it up but i wouldnt stop them as long as they are at the very least 15 xD


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Red face Re: Why do parents disapprove of porn? - December 19th 2010, 03:41 AM

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Originally Posted by CrimsonTippedPetals View Post

Be surprised. My mom kinda 'knows' I watch it sometimes. It's weird. Not to mention she has over 40 porn videos in her closet, which of all I find untasteful. Ugh. xD Anyway, I think it depends on how laid back your parents are. As long as you aren't looking up porn on THEIR computer. *cough cough* my brother *cough cough*. But yeah... Porn is porn, and parents are parents. They are two different things, yet they interact together. Parents have the right to their opinion, as do you.

I'm not sure if this was helpful, but I hope it was. xD

haha right my mom knew i was watching porn at like 13 lol i heard her coming in and faked being asleep and flipped the channel.. she came in and hit the "last channel" button and was like "hm not my personal fave but ok" and left leaving the porn channel on lol ( sorry if it double posts my comp froze up so i had to retype}






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Re: Why do parents disapprove of porn? - December 21st 2010, 03:57 AM

My mom would cry if she knew I watched porn the odd time (I'm only 12 so I can't blame her too much) she likes to think I don't know what anything means. I personally think that porn is a good way to explore sex and sexual feelings without actually having sex.
   
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Re: Why do parents disapprove of porn? - December 21st 2010, 05:39 AM

I'm not sure if this is always the case, but my parents are fine with me wanting to know more about sex. They just feel that porn objectifies women and creates false expectations as to what sex really is like. That might just be my hippie family, but I think they have a pretty valid point.
   
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