I'm having trouble with sex!

[littleabby]

So I am 17 years old and I'm dating a guy who is 20, who goes to the community college near my high school. We met at work, at the beginning of the school year, and we've been dating for 5 weeks.

This weekend we had sex for the first time, it was my first time to have sex. Kind of, I've fooled around before. He tells me he's only had sex with two other girls, but I have a feeling he might be underexagerating.

It was really steamy at first, but when he first penetrated me, i cried out with pain. It really hurt, but I let him keep going because I didn't want my first time to end like that, I thought it might get better if he kept going and he wanted to.

We haven't done it since and he keeps asking about it, I'm a little hesitant to do it again, and I just wanted to know if sex gets any better or easier?

Any help would be appreiated! Thanks

P.S. Btw, what is a clitoris and what does it do? I don't think I have one...

[flippinmayonnaise]

Hah, no worries, every woman has one. I'm not sure how much detail I can go into on here, so all I'm going to suggest is that you google search it. Wikipedia is a beautiful thing (:

Sex gets better. I had the exact same experience last year and it hurt much more than I expected. It hurt the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, and 5th times but progressively got better. The most important thing is to have a partner who respects you, supports you, and is willing to go slow and abide by your wishes. My boyfriend was incredible and made the experience so much easier for me.

The more you do it, the easier it gets, but it still will hurt a bit. Use a lot of lube!! Helped me a ton (: My sex still isn't incredibly orgasmic but it's getting better.

Good luck and keep your head up!!

[taylalatbh.]

Hey there,

Firstly, I'll address the clitoris issue. Yes! You do have one. As for where it is, lets say it's the first little 'lump' at the top of your private area. For a more detailed example of this, google it. (But be warned there might be some graphic images). It's the most sensitive part on a females body, and when stimulate, could lead you to having an orgasm.

As for sex hurting the first time you do it, it's completely normal. It hurts for almost every girl the first time that they have sex. It might still hurt once or twice when you have sex again, but the more you do it, the less it hurts. Maybe next time you have sex, take it a lot slower, let him 'play with you' first. If he stimulates your private area (and your clitoris!) you'll become very aroused, and lubricated down there. Which would make sex easier and less painful. You could also use lubricant, too.

It will definitely get easier. It's one of those things that you have to keep going at to learn how to do it. And it definitely will stop hurting, and become pleasurable in time. Just let him know that it hurt the first time, and that you would like him to be more careful and take it slower with you.

I hope things go well next time! Feel free to message me if you'd like to talk anymore. Take care.

[zumbaqueen2012]

Hi!
Google is your friend when it comes to detail about the clitoris. But basically its a little bump, if you like, at the top of you lady bits. It feels good when stimulated.

Completely normal for sex to hurt the first time, or even the first few times. Plenty of foreplay to get the bodies natural lubricant working helps, and if you need it, lube.

Also, just remember, there is no rush, take things slow and easy, and talk to the guy about it. He should respect your wishes.

Things do get better, it just takes a bit of practise first!

Good luck
x

[Smitten]

As has been said, the first time you have sex is the roughest. Compare it to riding a bike (cliche I know) each time you ride it, it gets easier and more fun. You have to go slow at first and get the hang of it, but after a while you are going fast even around the sharpest curves without much effort.
As for the Clitoris - I am sure your boyfriend can show you exactly where it is if he has had multiple previous partners.

[bitesize]

Totally normal. Sure the first time I had sex I could barely even get it in and thought I was doomed to a life of non-penetrative activity...and now I love sex (:
Your first time is always going to be a little, or a lot sore, but the more you do it, definitellyyy the better it gets. It's understandable that you feel nervous again but maybe you could say this to him and I'm sure he'll understand.
Next time, make sure you're wet enough beforehand. Relax. If you're anticipating pin you'll be tense and you'll tighten up. Lube or lubricated condoms are a HUGE huge help. Trust me. And go slow. If he uses his fingers first it might loosen you up a little and make it more comfortable.
As for the clitoris issue, the others have given good replies. However I wouldn't rely on your boyface to find it...maybe go exploring yourself!!

[Smitten]

Originally Posted by bitesize

As for the clitoris issue, the others have given good replies. However I wouldn't rely on your boyface to find it...maybe go exploring yourself!!

Boyface?!?! lol.. I was not implying that she should have him search it out with his face. although it may not be a bad Idea if she thinks that she may not be physically "Excited" enough. I'm sure she has gone exploring herself before, but I am sure that if he has any substantial prior experience that he can find it fine. I can pinpoint one nearly instantly, it really isn't that challenging.

[andie09]

I promise you, every time you have sex it gets a lot easier and a lot better. The first time is almost always painful. I shutter to remember my first time. Just ask him to take it slow, that helped me.

As for your other question, it's a super sensitive part of the "down there". Every girl has one. I promise, if your boyfriend goes exploring you will know it when he finds it.