Non-PG13: I'm having trouble 'coming'.

[hazza95]

The story is, my boyfriend and i have been going out for nearly 7 months now, and we feel very comfortable with each other, and we give each other hand jobs, however, its OUTSIDE of the undies. I can always make him 'come', but when he does me, it seems like he is doing everything right. He even asks if this or that feels good, etc. But i just can't come! I havent told him that, but he knows it takes me a LONG (15-20mins)time to feel stimulated enough.
Before he gives me a hand job, he has me quiet aroused, but maybe it is the lack of lubrication near the clit? Funny thing is, i don't really masturbate (I have tried it).... i thrust at a pillow on the edge of my bed to orgasm. I can't even get MYSELF to orgasm INSIDE undies, giving myself a handjob. He has dry humped me a few times, and i've 'come' every single time! I can't understand why i can't with a handjob. Is there any tips to help? Am i doing something wrong?

[TheLittleNinja]

Hey There

This is completely normal It can take a while before you work out what works with you - especially with hand jobs

Would you let your boyfriend inside your undies? And see if that works?

It might be that handjobs just aren't your thing - not everything sexual has to turn EVERYONE on

[hazza95]

Ah, you have a point. Yeah, we're just working up to that stage where we can go inside undies. But when we do each other, we kiss the whole time. lol. I dunno, its juts a thing

[Jaguar]

Claire is right. It's different for everybody. That's why when you have sex with a new person there can be a period of finding out what works for you and him.

It's a good sign that you can come by dry humping, and if that's the way that's easiest for you then that's what's best to do. If you can orgasm by humping the corner of a pillow with your hand helping you can try similar things with him helping. If you want to teach yourself to come with him fingering you then try putting his hand on yours and showing him what motion feels best for you. Don't concentrate on having an orgasm at first but only on making it feel good. Sounds like you haven't been naked with each other yet. It might be different when you are, or at least with your pants down. When you do that, try using some lube like astroglide. It'll make things better.

When you do get to the point when you want to be naked with each other, the stimulus of seeing and touching each other naked can be a little distracting so don't be discouraged that you can't have an orgasm for a while after you start that. It can take time to get used to it. BTW, dry humping works without clothes, too, so do what you need to to orgasm and what feels best.

[bitesize]

I have a très sensitive clitoris and orgasm best by dry humping so that's generally what I do Everyone's different. but the others are right, experimenting is best. Just keep trying and you'll find out what's right for you!!

[hazza95]

Wow, thanks guys! Didnt think id have so many comments! No, we havent been naked together.

[TheLittleNinja]

Well, can I just say, I admire the length of time you and your guy have been together, without feeling the need to 'have' to get naked and stuff. I think that's beautiful that you can have that sort of relationship

[ks829]

i had a similar problem, he could never get me to orgasm, during sex or handjob or anythinggg and it was frustrating... so what i did was i started doing it myself and figuring out what felt good and how to get there, and then after i tought him where to touch, etc, and its still hard for him to do it... and reallllyyy easy for me to get it done myself, but we are trying... so honestly, work yourself in the shower or something when no ones home (to avoid the "whats taking so long?!" lmaoo) and figure out almost exactly what moves, spots, etc, get you to orgasm and then teach it to him

warning tho... it gets addicting. :-0

[WillO'Wisp]

I have always had that problem too. You're just not easily aroused by anything, so if nothing arouses you or turns you on or really makes you crave an orgasm, then it's nearly impossible to have one.
Surround yourself with things that arouse you or think about something that really turns you on. Could be watching a video with something arousing in it while he fingers you, anything. Whatever works.