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Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, and similar topics, ask here!

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Penis Size Adequacy - January 28th 2011, 01:27 AM

I know that penis size is only marginally significant when it comes to a satisfying sex life, and that skill is more important...but it's only logical that the physical significance has to be there, or else one's sex life will be lacking -- something I'm afraid to experience, as I've seen it happen way too many times.

I also understand, after having spoken to many, many women, that the most commonly desired penis size (in a purely physical sense, not having to do with skill) is in the range of 5.5 to 7.5 inches (average to somewhat above). I'm at about 4.3 inches long and approximately the same girth, which is somewhat below the average (ethnicity taken into account), and consequently significantly smaller than the average desired length/girth. My girlfriend and I are both virgins, and plan to stay as such for a while, so I know that she won't have anyone in mind/prior feelings to compare me to when we do have sex; but I do worry about my ability to please her to her full potential during intercourse.

We have fantastic foreplay, but she absolutely hates giving me oral because of the taste. I almost every single time initiate oral unto her before she feels pressured into doing anything, and have offered to alter my diet a bit to improve my taste...but she keeps denying it and saying that she doesn't want me to change in order to please her. It really seems like a cop-out, but I suppose it's just indicative of the notion that she's probably not ready to give oral sex...but the fact that she expects oral sex from me, and refuses to give, sends me the message that there's something wrong with me down there other than my taste...(we haven't tried flavored condoms yet, but they're notorious for not giving the male much sensation during that form of intimacy). It makes me feel like she is turned off by me below the waist; as she won't even consider touching me down there...let alone do anything more.

For the women in this forum who have somewhat moderate experience with this -- is a roughly 4" penis sufficient (for you, personally)? I'm having some real problems with my body lately and this is probably the biggest obstacle...

It's so irritating to have this mentality about a penis my size, but still see other people younger than me complaining about having a 6" member (and subsequently being called "average")!

I really want to be rid of this insecurity long before I start having sex.
   
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Re: Penis Size Adequacy - January 28th 2011, 01:33 AM

To answer your question a four inch penis can be adequate if the guy knows how to use it. In addition, it doesn't hurt to hone your skills involving your tongue and your digits.

As for your issue with your girlfriend, I would talk to her straight up about how you feel. Don't be afraid to tell her your self conscious and you would like to know why she doesn't want much to do with you down there. It may really be that she just doesn't like oral; some girls don't. But until you talk to her, you won't know. I would recommend a very frank discussion with her. If it turns out she is unsatisfied with something, ask what you can do to improve the situation within reason. Hopefully you can get to a place where you don't feel insecure and she doesn't need to feel pressured to do anything, and it will be a much healthier situation for you both.


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Re: Penis Size Adequacy - January 28th 2011, 01:39 AM

Perhaps I should re-define "adequate"...

Here, instead of "enough to make me satisfied"-adequate, I think I'm leaning toward "I don't flinch when my friend talks about her boyfriend's 7 incher"-adequate. Would it be enough (for you, personally) to make you not desire or fantasize about anything more?
   
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Re: Penis Size Adequacy - January 28th 2011, 05:54 AM

Personally I have never got much out of oral sex. I can understand why the idea could seem unattractive to females, I doubt most straight guys would feel comfortable with performing oral sex on another guy and I guess their reasoning could well be carried over to this situation.

I would advise making sure you are clean. Remember, your penis is covered in skin so it should, in theory taste like skin (to me skin tastes pretty bland). In my experience giving oral to guys has been pleasant enough as there has been no taste.
Obviously discuss this with your partner, bare in mind that compromise is nothing to be afraid of and sex isn't usually every thing in a relationship.

Quote:
Originally Posted by QuantumModulus View Post
Perhaps I should re-define "adequate"...

Here, instead of "enough to make me satisfied"-adequate, I think I'm leaning toward "I don't flinch when my friend talks about her boyfriend's 7 incher"-adequate. Would it be enough (for you, personally) to make you not desire or fantasize about anything more?
As you've already mentioned, length isn't everything. People will say different things, different opinions etc, but as far as I understand length can be, quite literally, a pain.
Try to imagine the space allocated in the female body to accommodate you, it isn't vast and roomy down there. You don't want to hit the cervix, can be quite painful from what I understand. Length increases the chances of this.

From what I've heard, very few females orgasm from penetration any way. So as Superstar said, best get up to speed with your oral and digit skills


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Re: Penis Size Adequacy - January 28th 2011, 11:03 PM

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Originally Posted by QuantumModulus View Post
Perhaps I should re-define "adequate"...

Here, instead of "enough to make me satisfied"-adequate, I think I'm leaning toward "I don't flinch when my friend talks about her boyfriend's 7 incher"-adequate. Would it be enough (for you, personally) to make you not desire or fantasize about anything more?
No. When I am with somebody and attracted to them, I am attracted to them for how they are, not in comparison to other people. Hearing about a man with a bigger or thicker penis isn't going to make me dissatisfied with my boyfriend or not want to fantasize about him anymore, should he theoretically be smaller.


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Re: Penis Size Adequacy - January 29th 2011, 12:23 AM

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Originally Posted by Superstar View Post
No. When I am with somebody and attracted to them, I am attracted to them for how they are, not in comparison to other people. Hearing about a man with a bigger or thicker penis isn't going to make me dissatisfied with my boyfriend or not want to fantasize about him anymore, should he theoretically be smaller.
I appreciate your response, but I really don't want to open up a discussion about emotions here. I hear answers like these to completely non-emotional based questions about this same topic, and it really just makes me believe that women evade answering a question with any degree of specificity to make sure that they are politically correct and don't offend anyone. My question is on a purely physical level, and I know that if two people are genuinely in love then penis size won't matter. It won't make her think more or less of me (I hope). I don't worry about my partner not loving me for who I am; I merely worry about not being able to give her the maximum amount of pleasure she can receive (in terms of intercourse, in this case). I think sex is important in a relationship.

The fact that I'm below average in terms of size and the desires of the average women, as well as how I have absolutely NO experience, does absolutely loads for my self-confidence...[I think that insecurity by far overrides anything caused by the lack of oral sex.]

By the way, I wasn't giving that example of "adequate" literally...my point was merely to ask whether a 4" penis would be physically ideal for you; and if it would be enough to make you not want anything more [physically]. Please let me know if I need to clarify.
   
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Re: Penis Size Adequacy - January 29th 2011, 12:24 AM

Having a large penis to satisfy a woman is totally an ideal in the porn world. It's simply not true. It would make logical sense that "bigger is better" if you think about it graphically, but it's not the determining factor. If a woman says that she "requires" a man of a certain size, I don't think it's actually because her vagina "requires" a bigger size (necessarily) but that, psychologically, she requires it. Because if you think about it, if some women fall for the impression that bigger is better, they get more in the mood -- excitement builds up, therefore more blood flows to the vagina, and essentially it's the IDEA of having something bigger in her vagina that turns her on, rather than the actual penis that turns her on. You get what I'm saying? I'll provide an example in the real world:

Let's say that you're a professional drag racer who knows a lot about how cars work. When it comes to drag racing, the only thing that matters is performance. Any car is capable of being beaten, just like any car is capable of crashing into a wall. It's how you handle your car, and your performance that helps you win in the end.

Hopefully that makes a little bit more sense.

The only reason why I'm responding to this thread is because I don't really think anyone is going to get rid of your doubt. But you have to understand that sex is more psychological than it is physical. For instance (WARNING: Rape and abuse)
Spoiler:
If an 8 inch man intentionally rapes a woman, is she going to have an orgasm just because he has an 8 inch penis? Of course not! She probably won't enjoy it.


So, size has nothing to do sufficiency. Blowjobs/handjobs are acquired skills, so if a woman has been dating guys with average size, then she's obviously going to know how to give blowjobs/handjobs to average guys. She could suck at giving blowjobs to under average guys, as well as over average guys. Typically, people 16+ generally know how to drive cars, but you can't just hop into a new car. I drive an 85' Firebird Trans-AM (picture in signature) and when I first drove my grandfather's 2010 Chevy Malibu, I was prematurely braking hard and oversteering because my car can't brake for shit (it doesn't have ABS) and my steering isn't as responsive than my grandfather's car. I know how to drive, but I just had to get used to driving in both cars. Same goes for my uncle's jacked up Ford F-350 -- that thing takes up the whole damn road. I can drive but SHIT that was difficult. Anyways, acquired skill. You get my point.

With that being said, some women just don't like giving blowjobs. If you LIKE to give your girlfriend oral sex, then don't stop. But if you're not doing it on your own accord, then that's not necessary. If she doesn't give you blowjobs, you don't need to be giving her oral either. You either compromise on something, or you just do it on your own accord and not because of her.

Your biggest challenge is accepting that you have an under average penis size. I have an average penis size, but my sex is no different than yours. In fact, my sex has consisted of nothing but awkward sex that only made me feel like shit afterwards (for the most part lol). Two inches is not a drastic change. It is different, but it's really not a big deal. The only way it would be considered a problem is what society says. If society says that "oh, guys with smaller penises are less masculine" then you would have a problem with society, but we all know that's not necessarily true because I'm sure there's homosexual men who are well endowed.

So when it comes to women, it's no big deal. If she says it's a big deal, then you don't need to be dating women like that because she's ignorant. Size has nothing to do with performance and if she says that she doesn't like giving blowjobs because of how you taste...then so be it. We all taste differently. There's no such thing as people tasting good. However, you can enhance the flavor by buying those sensual jelly packets that taste like strawberries and stuff like that. Dip your penis in jello. It's whatever!



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Re: Penis Size Adequacy - February 1st 2011, 03:32 AM

Thanks for your response Brandon.

The only reason I'm led to believe that penis size makes a physical difference during intercourse is because most women with any experience will say that a 2" penis is just as poor as a 10" in terms of pleasure given. If the extremes are valid points of contention, then why aren't the intermediary points?

Most women won't claim to have a "required" size, that's true. But most (even though they are reluctant to easily give the information) do have an ideal range of sizes that they enjoy the most. My insecurities stem from not fitting into ANY ideal range that I've ever seen. I worry about not being as pleasurable to her with 4" and a lot of skill (further on down the line) as with 7" and the same amount of skill (hypothetically).

(I'd also like to point out that if it's a 2" difference you're talking about, it's above average. :P Please don't patronize me..)

Please don't read too far into my statement. I don't want an unreasonably large penis. I just wish I had an average size, and am getting tired of seeing others complain about being above average...
   
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Re: Penis Size Adequacy - February 1st 2011, 04:54 AM

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Originally Posted by QuantumModulus View Post
The only reason I'm led to believe that penis size makes a physical difference during intercourse is because most women with any experience will say that a 2" penis is just as poor as a 10" in terms of pleasure given. If the extremes are valid points of contention, then why aren't the intermediary points?
No doubt does 10" make a physical difference when compared to a 2" inch. Let's consider what would happen if a woman wasn't aroused enough in worst case scenarios:

1. Let's say the guy is 2 inches and it's an awkward sex moment. She's not really feelin' it. What's that mean? Well, there's not enough bloodflow to the vagina, she possibly isn't secreting enough lubricant, not in the psychological mood for it so she's probably thinking about other stuff and not having a desire to enjoy it, so she fakes an orgasm because she can't feel it. OR

2. Same scenario, except the guy is 10". Well, in this case, she can definitely feel it considering the size. However, because she's not secreting enough lube and all that jazz, the 10" actually HURTS.

So this is mostly a difference between not feeling anything vs. feeling more than you want. Either way, she's either faking an orgasm, or she's screaming in agony and not enjoying it. Therefore, both scenarios suck and no size is more beneficial than the other in these circumstances.

I'm sure there are women who have had nothing but aggressive sex with well endowed men, but I'm going to assume that your girlfriend doesn't have a vagina the size of a tennis ball.

I don't really understand that last question in this quote, so you're gonna have to elaborate more on that. But I just want to reiterate that women may prefer a larger size, but it's not because women physically require it, but psychologically (and maybe that ties into BIOLOGICALLY even). It's like this:

Let's say you're about to get punched by a scrawny woman because you cracked a sexist joke. Your brain recognizes that she isn't going to hit your stomach very hard, so you don't tense up your stomach as much (if at all). But if you have a guy who's built and he's about to punch your stomach, your stomach is probably going to tense up. Why? Because it's preparing for an impact. Your body wants to cushion the blow as much as possible to avoid damaging organs and bones. Same goes for women. If a woman is about to have sex with a man who she knows is well endowed, then her brain is gonna be like "all right, this dude is pretty damn big...so here's what I'm gonna do. Send messages to her vagina to get that blood flow going pronto, secrete EXTRA lubricate, and forget about that man you almost ran over today...THIS IS YOUR NIGHT hunny!" So the vagina is like...all right, it prepares for impact to benefit her body. All of the things the brain sends her body to do for her vagina helps promote intensity. Those effects can be achieved through foreplay and all that shit...that's part of the reason why a lot of couples look at pornography before having sex. To spice up the sex life.

So having a large penis may help, but it's not the determining factor. You may have a fast car, but if you can't drive it then you're gonna crash into a wall or spin out and lose regardless. So it's not necessarily about size, it really is how you use it if you wanna think in terms of biology and psychology.

Quote:
Originally Posted by QuantumModulus View Post
Most women won't claim to have a "required" size, that's true. But most (even though they are reluctant to easily give the information) do have an ideal range of sizes that they enjoy the most.
From my experience, women tend to rate sexual experiences based on intensity rather than penis size. I talk to one female on MSN every now and then and she has a friend with benefit and she says that he's "good in bed." Good in bed doesn't necessarily mean "well endowed." There's really no correlation, in my experience. You might suggest otherwise.

Quote:
Originally Posted by QuantumModulus View Post
(I'd also like to point out that if it's a 2" difference you're talking about, it's above average. :P Please don't patronize me..)
Oh no, I thought you said you were 4 but you said 4.3. Definitely in that case, I'm about 1.7 inches bigger (on good days lol). Yeah, I'm still bigger but hey, you're the one with the girlfriend. I've never engaged in foreplay, let alone have sex with the same girl more than once. I've only had two sex partners my whole life (one I met on TH, and one who had insecurities and a troubled past). While I can boast in one area, you can boast in another. It pretty much evens out. Just because I may be bigger than you really doesn't mean shit.

Quote:
Originally Posted by QuantumModulus View Post
Please don't read too far into my statement. I don't want an unreasonably large penis. I just wish I had an average size, and am getting tired of seeing others complain about being above average...
And I can completely understand that! I don't blame you for thinking that. Under-average isn't a very positive word in society. Average ain't that great. Everyone wants to exceed and do well, make a difference and shit. I can understand where you're coming from, but I'm just letting you know that there's plenty of reasons why good sex is an acquired skill and not something that is based on size and shapes. Be positive my friend. Just think about guys who are two inches, they'd probably be like "why are you complaining...yours is 4 inches." See what I mean? It could always be worse!

Quote:
Originally Posted by QuantumModulus View Post
Thanks for your response Brandon.
No problem.



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Re: Penis Size Adequacy - February 2nd 2011, 04:22 AM

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No doubt does 10" make a physical difference when compared to a 2" inch.

...

Therefore, both scenarios suck and no size is more beneficial than the other in these circumstances.

I don't really understand that last question in this quote, so you're gonna have to elaborate more on that. But I just want to reiterate that women may prefer a larger size, but it's not because women physically require it, but psychologically (and maybe that ties into BIOLOGICALLY even).

...

So having a large penis may help, but it's not the determining factor. You may have a fast car, but if you can't drive it then you're gonna crash into a wall or spin out and lose regardless. So it's not necessarily about size, it really is how you use it if you wanna think in terms of biology and psychology.

...

Yeah, I'm still bigger but hey, you're the one with the girlfriend. I've never engaged in foreplay, let alone have sex with the same girl more than once. I've only had two sex partners my whole life (one I met on TH, and one who had insecurities and a troubled past). While I can boast in one area, you can boast in another. It pretty much evens out. Just because I may be bigger than you really doesn't mean shit.

...

Under-average isn't a very positive word in society. Average ain't that great. Everyone wants to exceed and do well, make a difference and shit. I can understand where you're coming from, but I'm just letting you know that there's plenty of reasons why good sex is an acquired skill and not something that is based on size and shapes. Be positive my friend. Just think about guys who are two inches, they'd probably be like "why are you complaining...yours is 4 inches." See what I mean? It could always be worse!
Sorry if my question was ambiguous, let me clarify:

If we can safely assume that, for example, compared to a 5" or 6", a 2" is poorer in bed (due to purely a lack of size), and that compared to those a 10" is also poorer in bed, then why can't we compare a 4" to a 6" for instance (or any other combination for that matter)? I think it's silly to say that penis size is completely irrelevant, because of the very fact that some penis sizes simply give less pleasure. That means that some must give more.

You admit that having a larger penis "may help", so tell me: how is that different from being better (in the most broad sense)?

I think it's valid to have insecurities about below-average penis size for one crucial reason -- from an evolutionary standpoint, if the majority of women enjoy having 5" to 7" penises during penetration, then naturally the average size should be around that range. Coincidentally, it is. Now, analyzing the statistics in the most basic form, we can assume that at some level (whatever it is, I'm not arguing) a penis with a larger or smaller penis than average will have some downside compared to the average range.

Lol, I'm not trying to say that it's okay to be perpetually depressed about it...now it's more of an issue for me to be comfortable with my body. It's just very difficult..

And of course men of 2" have the right to be annoyed by my post, I never said otherwise xD.
   
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Re: Penis Size Adequacy - February 2nd 2011, 08:20 AM

Jorge, I'll admit that I'm having a little trouble understanding what you are actually asking, but I'll try to give some answers anyway.

Firstly, I would really like to know who these women, who say they would prefer a 5" to 7" penis, are and how they've come to that conclusion. Because I highly doubt that many of them have actually taken out a ruler and measured the length of previous partners' penises. And most people aren't very good at judging length to such specific amounts.

Secondly, I highly doubt that the size of your penis has anything to do with why your girlfriend doesn't want to give you oral. What is far more likely is that she either doesn't feel comfortable giving you oral or simply doesn't want to. Perhaps she finds the whole idea too unhygienic, perhaps giving oral just doesn't feel good for her, or perhaps she is just being selfish. Honestly, I've never heard a girl say that she doesn't like giving oral because her partner's penis is too small.

Thirdly, it seems like you don't actually know how a woman's vagina works because if you did, I think you would realise that size really does not matter. For starters, a woman's vagina (when not aroused) is only about 3" to 4". When she is aroused, it will expand to about 4" to 6". But almost all the nerve endings in the vagina are in the first third of vagina and there are basically no nerve endings in the last third. So to give a woman the maximum amount of pleasure (if you're basing it only on intercourse), you would need between a 1.3" and 4" penis.
And even saying that, there are so few women in the world who orgasm from intercourse alone. Almost all women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm and your penis size is not going to help with that.

I was trying to think of a nice, concise way to end my post, but I must be tired because I can't . But hopefully, these answers help you in some way.



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Re: Penis Size Adequacy - February 2nd 2011, 12:43 PM

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...Thirdly, it seems like you don't actually know how a woman's vagina works because if you did, I think you would realise that size really does not matter. For starters, a woman's vagina (when not aroused) is only about 3" to 4". When she is aroused, it will expand to about 4" to 6". But almost all the nerve endings in the vagina are in the first third of vagina and there are basically no nerve endings in the last third. So to give a woman the maximum amount of pleasure (if you're basing it only on intercourse), you would need between a 1.3" and 4" penis.
And even saying that, there are so few women in the world who orgasm from intercourse alone. Almost all women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm and your penis size is not going to help with that.
Sorry if I seem terse here, but it's very early here and I'm in the same scenario. :P

Of course, if the length of the vagina when aroused is 4" to 6", then wouldn't that suggest that the nerve endings along this length would become more sensitive than they would if they were not aroused?

Consequently, I highly (highly) doubt that you'd say that you would be completely satisfied with intercourse if your partner had a 2" penis. I have spoken to women who seem to have a firm grasp on giving approximate measurements (women who have actually seen what 2, 3, 4" are, and who understand the physical significant of the values we speak of), and nearly every single one has said this, in fact: "Giving oral has been more fun, penetration -- not so much." In all honesty, I'd rather give better penetrative sex than receive better oral.

Do you believe your own words? a 1.3" to 4" penis giving the maximum amount of pleasure?

Just because the majority of nerve endings lie in the first third of the vagina, it doesn't mean that the rest of it has no sensation. Women can, as far as I can tell, feel a larger than average penis.
   
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