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View Poll Results: How do you view virginity? Physically or emotionally?
You can lose it physically without necessarily losing it emotionally 3 12.00%
Losing your virginity is purely based on physically losing it 8 32.00%
Losing your virginity is purely based on an emotionally intimate experience 3 12.00%
There is no difference. Losing your virginity is losing your virginity, and that's that. 11 44.00%
Voters: 25. You may not vote on this poll

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Virginity: Emotional or Physical? - April 2nd 2011, 02:54 AM

Yes, I realise there have been a number of polls regarding virginity, and I realise that there have been threads regarding the definition of virginity, as far as what's counted as losing it (or what's counted as sex) in hetero- and homosexual relationships. All of that is fine and well, and an interesting read, really, but that's not what this is about.

This was inspired by a conversation I had with someone I'm currently seeing, and was later discussed with a friend of mine. Though I can see where each of them are coming from, and they do have overlapping opinions, I'm still unsure as to how I personally view it. No, the intention of this thread is not to determine that, as I will come to my own conclusions in my own time. I'm simply curious as to your opinions.

Do you see losing one's virginity as purely physical, or do you see it as being emotional also? I want to note that I am talking consensual sex. I am not talking rape victims, and I will always stand by that rape does not constitute losing your virginity. But is it possible that you can lose your virginity by textbook definition, but not lose it emotionally? And do you think it's entirely possible to experience a "first time" with someone, emotionally speaking, if even if it's not your literal first time?
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Re: Virginity: Emotional or Physical? - April 2nd 2011, 03:01 AM

Well, you can lose it without being emotional about it, or you can be emotional and not worry about physical.

Or it can be both. There are endless possibilities for what it means, personally, it was physical for me, but after reflecting on it, it was more of both.

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Re: Virginity: Emotional or Physical? - April 2nd 2011, 03:21 AM

I agree. I chose the one that best suited it for my experience when I lost my virginity. Some girls (and boys) lose their virginity solely based upon a non-emotional state (non-attachment to the person their sleeping with) whether this on purpose (they chose to do it that way) or completely accidental (rape, etc.).

For me, losing my virginity had a lot of emotions into, since it was the first time I had even thought of sleeping with anyome amd that person was my boyfriend that I care very much for. I also view sex in this same view. I can't just have sex with someone. I have to be emotionally connected to them in order to sleep with them. To me, giving someone myself is more than I could give anyone, and I don't want to give myself to someone knowing their just using it as a physical experience.

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Re: Virginity: Emotional or Physical? - April 2nd 2011, 04:25 AM

I consider losing virginity based purely on the physical nature. The emotional part seems irrelevant as long as the relationship was consensual and legal. This thread is the first time I've heard anyone talk of "emotional virginity". If there are new emotions felt, that's great, if not, no great loss. Once someone has sexual experiences, they're no longer a virgin (again, consensual only). I don't view it as necessarily requiring penetration because that turns it into terminology based exclusively on anatomy favouring the male, so if lesbians had sex without penetrating, they would be considered a virgin if one were to abide solely by the penetration argument. Hence, I abide by the argument of sexual intercourse with or without penetration.

I vote for the last option because the emotional factor is irrelevant to me.

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Re: Virginity: Emotional or Physical? - April 2nd 2011, 04:58 AM

Losing it is losing it is losing it. You can say that it's not and you can try to take it back, but at the end of the day...you lost it. Why skirt around the issue? It's really not even a big deal, considering how many people have horrible first times and how few people stay with the first person they had sex with for the rest of their lives.

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Re: Virginity: Emotional or Physical? - April 2nd 2011, 01:02 PM

I technically lost my virginity, although it wasn't even proper sex, with someone I was casually seeing who didn't care much about me, because I wanted to just get it out of the way. We didn't really talk again after that, which didn't bother me at all. A few months later I lost it to someone I'd known for five years and had been seeing for a few months, and was really starting to like. We ended up getting into a relationship and falling in love. I view the first time as the technical loss of my virginity, but the second time with the second person felt a lot more real and a lot mroe emotional.

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Re: Virginity: Emotional or Physical? - April 2nd 2011, 02:02 PM

Losing your virginity is a physical thing. However you define it physically is your issue, but in the end, it is purely physical. I just can't see this happening:

Doctor: Are you sexually active?
You: I'm a virgin.
Doctor: So you've never had sexual contact with anyone?
You: No, I had sex, but emotionally, I'm a virgin.

It doesn't work like that. (I personally believe that rape victims are not virgins.) Once you have had any contact that could potentially result in receiving an STD, you cannot call yourself a virgin. You call tell yourself you're a virgin because of emotional investment and it can feel like the first time with someone, but if you have engaged in physical sexual activity, you're not a virgin.

Last edited by firecracker; April 2nd 2011 at 05:21 PM.
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Re: Virginity: Emotional or Physical? - April 2nd 2011, 05:01 PM

I appreciate everyone's opinions thusfar. It's interesting to hear them.

And I wanted to put a reminder in here because I feel firecracker's mention about rape victims might be a controversial one, I stated in my OP that I am asking this question based on consensual sex. I am not asking this question in regards to rape, and I'd rather people leave any opinions on rape and virginity out of this thread.
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Re: Virginity: Emotional or Physical? - April 2nd 2011, 09:57 PM

I can't put a label on this one...it's different with everyone.
For me, I wouldn't sleep with anyone just physically if I didn't emotionally feel any connection with the person. I couldn't stand just sleeping with anyone for the heck of it, or just for the pure fun. I don't see sex that way at all. It's supposed to be a special emotional moment shared between two people who love each other.
But like I said, everyone's different.
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