Non-PG13 (Strong Language): Am I a Slut? (be honest)

[charmbraceletxo]

First and foremost, let me reiterate the commentaries of a few other members by stating that, no, you're not a slut--HOWEVER, you are much too young (IMO) to be engaging in these types of behaviors. I'm a hardcore feminist--so your post begs the obvious question as to WHY you should be concerned with your reputation meanwhile your boyfriend faces no social consequences for the same behavior (after all, it takes two to tango, right?). My advice? Don't buy into the notorious stud-slut double standard...too many girls and young women do, and it's quite devastating. That being said, I sincerely hope that you're taking the necessary preventative measures to avoid any unwanted pregnancies, STI's, etc., etc. I have a kid-sister your age, and I perceive/treat her as just that--a kid. Seeing as how you two have already begun having sex, there's no sense in lecturing you about NOT having sex...just be mindful and responsible about it. Bear in mind that you're still undergoing tremendous biological/sexual/cognitive development--so don't jump the gun just yet by claiming that your current boyfriend is "the one." When I was your age, I was pathologically OBSESSED with this one particular guy...and I was adamant about being his future wife/mother of his children...needless to say, it didn't happen (THANK GOODNESS!). So, point being, things can and ARE likely to change as you mature and develop...so it'd be wise to refrain from making any life-altering decisions at this stage in your life.

[Haruhi]

Want the truth, you're not a slut. But I think your young and throwing your innocence away.

I lost my virginity at 14. So I was your age, and I regretted it, I thought he was 'the one'. At your age, definitely not. You're just completely in 'lust' at the moment. Not love. You are attracted to him. I believe once you're 16 or over, you can feel love towards someone. Not at 14.

I also have a sister your age, well 13. If I knew she was doing this or anything, I'd give her a clip round the ear. Seriously!

Just stay safe and protected though!

[DragonRider]

Ok. Right. So, first off, I've read all the comments in this thread and I think the general consensus is that you're too young to be engaging in sexual activity, which I agree with. Knowing that your boyfriend is 17 and you're 14, I'm inclined to question his motives, however, I do not know you, your boyfriend or your relationship so I am in no position to make an accurate judgement.

On the other hand, while I think that the way he approached it was a little cruel, The Man And XX Master was right in what he said. I know you hate the idea of your boyfriend being called a paedophile, but I'm afraid that's the way the law would see it.
What I want to say is; be careful. I do get the feeling - because of your age, the way you have responded to other posts and your attitude towards the whole situation - that you are not mature enough to be dealing with any of this. However, it's too late to do anything about that at this stage. And so, all I can say is be careful, be sure that your boyfriend is being careful and get yourself on some birth control. I don't know what country you live in, but here in the UK you can go to the doctor and they will give you free birth control. Make sure you educate yourself (and your boyfriend, if necessary) about safe sex.

Be careful and keep yourself safe. Please don't hesitate to PM me if you have any questions or worries x

[Sythan]

Originally Posted by sadkid5

No she should say that because i know he will dump her i know it will happen because it just will.She is losing it when people say the truth and i won't post anymore after this because i know she will become pregnant thats the only way she will stop having un safe sex.


Jeremy

No, you don't know that. He could very well decide to become a father, you can't tell what he's thinking.

[OMFG!You'reActuallySmart!]

Originally Posted by toxxxic21

It's not your answer that made me mad. It was the fact that you called my boyfriend a pedophile. (someone you likes to have sex with underage children...yes...I know what it means. I'm not stupid)

Unfortunately, that answer is incorrect as well as missing key components of what pedophilia truly is. This does not make you stupid, it makes you uninformed, however, to be fair, many people older than you don't understand what pedophilia actually is. I corrected myself already by saying your boyfriend currently is not a pedophile. The reason I thought so was because I was mistaken about his age, I thought he was 19 but he is 17. Are you angry when I called your boyfriend a future potential ephebophile?

Originally Posted by toxxxic21

I don't care if you call me a slut or whatever, but don't call me stupid. That's just rude. You don't know me or how my relationship is going.

I will re-iterate myself: do not ask for honest opinions. When you ask for such opinions, you invite yourself to possibly receiving comments you perceive as rude. However, I feel I should explain what I meant by you being stupid. I did not mean you are stupid in all areas of your life (i.e. academic) because I have no justification for saying that. Instead, I said you are being stupid purely in reference to the relationship with your boyfriend. Therefore, knowing all about you is irrelevant as it is in reference to one particular aspect of your life. This was my fault for not fully explaining in my previous posts, however, hopefully you can understand my reasoning and that is it not something I called you out of emotional impulse.

When I made my statements, I tried to be as objective as possible, in doing so emotions are obstacles that have been (temporarily) removed.

I don't know exactly how your relationship is going but neither do you. Hence, both of us and other users are purely speculating. Since it is pure speculation, there is no reason to immediately dismiss certain statements simply because they cause you to be upset.

Originally Posted by toxxxic21

I am sorry for kind of flying off the handle like that, but I have to deal with people like you calling me stupid, deluded, jail bait, skank, f*ck buddy, slut, ect...and calling him sick and a pedophile and telling us we aren't going to last EVERY day...it just gets a little frustrating after a while......

In all honesty, people you know the age of your boyfriend and you are morons when they say he's a pedophile. As I mentioned already, I was misinformed about his age, so I have retracted that comment and apologized. If it is still causing emotional damage, then there is nothing I can do, it is out of my hands.

Keep in mind, we all are called various insults for the relationships we're in or things we've done. Furthermore, keep in mind we have also been the ones you called others various insults, either to their face or behind their back.

[Madeleine.Claire]

Amoroso just gave some really good advice...

Jeremy, I feel like you're only here to attack her, and telling her to play mind games with her boyfriend is not okay. At all. If you don't want to/aren't capable of giving good advice, then please don't comment on here any more because at this point you're just hurting people.

Toxxxic: Like I told you yesterday, you can ask me anything and if you want you can PM me about ways to talk to your mom about the birth control.

<3

[Angelito]

hey i saw ur other post saying you love anal and love the feeling of him cuming on you or something, and in my school if you were to say shit like that you wood be considered a TOTAL slut :s sorry to say, but u did ask

[Ann2012]

Actually in my state it's illegal and he would be considered a pedophile. That's my state though.

I saw the other post too. Sorry but in my school you would be considered way worse than a slut. Because 1) your age, 2) the activities you are partaking in and 3) what you said in your last thread. Your choice though.

[Angelito]

Originally Posted by Ann2012

Actually in my state it's illegal and he would be considered a pedophile. That's my state though.

same here, doesnt matter if you love him, he would be considered a sex offender making his life a WHOLE lot harder

[TakeMeHigher]

who cares about what others think.... it's your life so do what makes you happy

[Madeleine.Claire]

What state do you live in Toxxxic?

Because where I'm from, the age of consent is 16 and then there are these weird laws on how they can only be three or four years older than you and one of those is with parental permission. Some of the people are concerned about your boyfriend getting into trouble with the law, they don't just want to call him names.

Anyways, I would figure out the age laws and consent and all of that for where you live, and know that no matter what, sex between you two is probably going to be illegal once he is 18.

<3

[Maloo]

In NY it is illegal. I'm just hoping her boyfriend doesn't get sent to jail and labeled as a sex offender for the rest of his life.

[Jeal0us0rchard]

I wouldn't. It depends on how mature the two of you are. If you were doing that with a bunch of guys than i would probably say it's a little slutty. If you really like him then it's not slutty.

hey, if it makes you feel any better, i lost my virginity at 14 :P.

[bipolar]

honestly, i dont think you're a slut. if thats the level that both of you are comfortable with and you've talked about sex and sexual relations and how they make you feel... then i think its fine. just be safe and use protection.

[toxxxic21]

The age of consent in our state is 17...so...it is illegal... :/

[Maloo]

Well then I hope nothing happens where he ends up arrested, because the label of 'sex offender' really messes things up for someone.

[Power Cosmic]

Alas, people are so judgemental these days. We should all just chill out. I know she's 14, and that's young, but think back to when we were fourteen.

I don't think you're a slut. For one thing, I absolutely loathe that word and the double standards it represents, merely a way of putting down women/girls who express their sexuality. Like, imagine if it was a guy, he'd get the admiration of his peers. Call me a feminist or whatever :P.


In either case, I think the threads getting a bit repetitive, so I'm going to close it now. OP, PM me if you want it re-opened.