Female Advice Preferred: i'm feeling awkward

[kaitoukid]

ive been dating my bf for just more than 2months .
ive got the feeling of wanting to have sex w him , although im not really ready for that but i just want to do this .
he didnt say he want that but somehow i know that if its a longtime rlts we will do this .
he lives alone , freely and hes two years older than me . i know hes experinced but im still a virgin .
what should i do to decrease my feeling ?

[Jaguar]

The feeling is natural, even if you've only been together for 2 months. For many people 2 months is enough to know if they want to have sex with someone, and others like to wait longer to get to know each other better.

To help yourself decide, look at the reasons why you don't. Are you just scared and nervous like everyone is before they lose their virginity, or are you unsure about him? Most people tend to fall in love with their first sexual partner, if they're not already, and from what you say about how you feel, I think you will be one of those. So check out carefully what he wants in the relationship and make sure it's what you want. It's ok to have sex with someone as long as you both are looking for the same thing.

If you're not quite ready for sex but want to do something intimate with him, you can massage each other, shower together or do things such as fingering and oral to give each other orgasms before you decide to do the big one.

[MacGuffin]

If you know you are not ready for sex, you may want to ask yourself why do you feel like you have to "just do it?" It's really important to be ready for your first, both on the physical side of things and the emotional side. I wouldn't suggest having sex unless you are absolutely certain it's what you want to do and he is who you want to do it with. Don't do it because you "kinda have the feeling of wanting to have sex with him." Sex is a bad thing to take half heartedly, and it can have consequences.

Also, you can't honestly presume he wants to have sex with you in the future. Is it a logical assumption? Well, given the progression of many relationships, yes. But you cannot know for sure until the topic is discussed. I say this because I don't want you thinking, "well, he's going to want to have sex anyway, so it might as well start now." Don't let what he wants factor into your decision. This is a decision about YOU, and no one else.

Now, if you decide this is what you want to do and are prepared for it, you can think about how to decrease anxiety. Like Jaguar said, it's perfectly normal to be really nervous before your first time, especially if it's with someone who is more experienced than you. After realizing that what you are feeling is normal, it's important to talk to your partner about your concerns. Let him know what you are feeling, and make sure you can come to a place of agreement over how things are going to be done. Like Jaguar suggested, I would start with other, less anxiety-invoking activities, like taking a shower together, or fingering/oral, sleeping together in the partial nude (with the EXPLICIT understanding that there will be NO sex), watching a sexy movie together (NOT pornography, just a sexy movie, perhaps one that has a love story but with a lot of physical intimacy). Go slow, don't push yourself to do something you are not ready for, and do things in your own time. I hope this helps ease your fears a little.

[Aletheia*]

The feeling is natural. We can't turn off hormones. They're there, and they're here to stay. If you don't want to have physical sex with him, there are other forms of intimacy to try, or you could try masturbating to curb those urges.