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Sex and Puberty For questions related to sex, puberty, and similar topics, ask here!

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crazygurl Offline
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Question My Boyfriend wants to eat me out... - November 20th 2011, 07:12 PM

First of all i should say, that i am not lesbian or bi, i was just an awkward person back then... and my boyfriend and i have had sex, he has fingered me and we have been dating for 1 year. (sorry if its long)

When i was in 4th grade me and my best friend were experimenting, and we ate each other out.. I never told my boyfriend this, and before when he asked if i had done anything other then kiss some1 i said no.. but now i came out and told him that i had.. And all he said after was that you let her and not me, and then he wanted me to drop it but its still bothering me. I dont know how to explain it to him why with out making it awkward.. Like alot of things have changed since i was in 4th grade.
My main worries are that imma be prickly cuz i do shave, and that imma smell or not taste good... and id rather not give him a bj, but i would give him a hand job.
Pleas help me
   
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Re: My Boyfriend wants to eat me out... - November 20th 2011, 07:51 PM

It's important to know that just because you did something when you were nine doesn't mean you are A) bisexual or a lesbian and/or B) going to want to do it again. I mean, you were a kid. Kids experiment sexually all the time with each other. Hell, I did, with a couple of other girls in my class. Just because you let someone do it to you when you were nine doesn't mean you still want it to happen now. So it's okay to feel the way you do about it.

However, that said, I do see his point of view, even if he didn't present it in the best way possible. Basically he is upset because he feels you are rejecting him. In his logic, you have done it before, so you should want to do it again. He's taking it personally that you don't want to, which is his problem and probably why he phrased things the way he did. Since this is the key problem, this is something you may want to address with him when you discuss these concerns of yours. And you WILL need to discuss them at some point. Communication is what makes relationships work, period. That includes in all areas sexual.

It sounds like your concerns are not mostly about the fact that you don't like it (although I will tell you that experimenting in that department when you are nine and doing it now would be two very different feelings, more than likely), it's more about you. Lots of women have the same concerns you do, about prickliness and odor and taste. I used to have them, in fact. But the fact of the matter is this: the guy going down on you has a pussy in front of him. He finds it and you gorgeous. He WANTS to go down on you. So you may have prickliness, so what? The guys I know actually find it more bothersome if there is hair there than prickles. That's not every guy, mind you, but it is most of the guys I know. As for smell? Vaginas naturally have a smell, that's something you cannot help. What you can do is wash thoroughly down there in the shower with a hot, wet washcloth. You can use soap if you want, but it's not recommended because it can actually get stuck in places and cause infections. Plus, if you do it right before he eats you out he can taste soap on you. And you can't really worry too much about how you taste; that's determined by a lot of factors and you can't address all of them.

My point is, he'll probably like it as long as it is clean. If you want, bring this stuff up with him so you can have him assure you in his own words that these things won't bother them. It won't be awkward if you don't approach it with the mindset that it will be awkward. The fact is, often in relationships people are told to "drop" something because the other person is still hurt and doesn't want to talk about it, while the person who was told to "drop it" is still feeling upset and concerned and anxious, too. It's natural to come back to these topics; in fact, I would be worried if couples didn't, because then it all just ends up coming out in a big fight down the line, and by then it is so built up it could ruin that relationship.

So talk to him. Let him know it's not him, it's you. Let him know what your worries are. AND that you aren't ready to give him a blow job. There is no law that says that you have to do that. There was a period in time where I was really uncomfortable with blow jobs, and so I just gave hand jobs. My boyfriend was happy with that, and I am glad he was; it's really the sensible thing to do because, after all, your girlfriend is still offering to get you off. And since it comes down to it happening by his own hand or a girl's hand, the smart guy would take the later option. If he is unhappy with it, or goes, "well, you owe me," don't budge on your position. Do not do something you are not ready to do, EVER. In fact, if he said "you owe me," I would really question the relationship. But that's just me. Just don't give into pressure.

I hope this helps. If you have anymore questions feel free to PM me.


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Re: My Boyfriend wants to eat me out... - November 20th 2011, 08:46 PM

thanks i got a whole new understanding with it now
   
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Re: My Boyfriend wants to eat me out... - November 21st 2011, 04:36 PM

I can't add anything to what Jordan said except that I don't like pricklies either, so I encouraged my gf to let it grow out long enough so it feels silky. Besides her hair pattern turns me on.


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Re: My Boyfriend wants to eat me out... - November 21st 2011, 06:30 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
I can't add anything to what Jordan said except that I don't like pricklies either, so I encouraged my gf to let it grow out long enough so it feels silky. Besides her hair pattern turns me on.
I would prefer pricklies and bareness over getting hair in my mouth!


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Re: My Boyfriend wants to eat me out... - November 21st 2011, 06:43 PM

I don't like it, and my girl doesn't insist. To each his/her own.



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Re: My Boyfriend wants to eat me out... - November 21st 2011, 08:51 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by crazygurl View Post
First of all i should say, that i am not lesbian or bi, i was just an awkward person back then... and my boyfriend and i have had sex, he has fingered me and we have been dating for 1 year. (sorry if its long)

When i was in 4th grade me and my best friend were experimenting, and we ate each other out.. I never told my boyfriend this, and before when he asked if i had done anything other then kiss some1 i said no.. but now i came out and told him that i had.. And all he said after was that you let her and not me, and then he wanted me to drop it but its still bothering me. I dont know how to explain it to him why with out making it awkward.. Like alot of things have changed since i was in 4th grade.
My main worries are that imma be prickly cuz i do shave, and that imma smell or not taste good... and id rather not give him a bj, but i would give him a hand job.
Pleas help me
Is it sad that I did the same thing with my ex best friend in that grade? lol But, now I feel the same way about it that you do. Lol alot of things change, Agreed. But, ^^ I like what the other posters said. Couldn't have said it better myself.


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Re: My Boyfriend wants to eat me out... - November 21st 2011, 09:31 PM

Don't feel like you have to do anything you don't want to If your really super NOT comfortable then tell him that, and tell him why. All I can say is you and I must be related, cuz I had the same fears as you, but eventually I let him try it and it waasn't anything like I'd imagined he loved I think more than I did, and it kinda feels like... amazing...


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Re: My Boyfriend wants to eat me out... - November 23rd 2011, 06:19 PM

I actually just had this happen to me over the weekend so I thought I'd tell you my story and see if that helps. because all the answers I have were posted. Anyways...

Just to explain I'm actually dating 2 guys right now. Anyways, my boyfrined is a huge germaphobe so he won't eat me out. And I'm ok with that, I'm not one to ask for it. But I was with my other guy, Egor. So we were fooling around and he had me tied on the bed. Basically, he forced me to let him eat me out. And it was amazing. For me, I just needed that first experiance where I had no choice but to let him at least try (he would have stopped if I didn't like it). Some guys just love the taste of a girl. I know I love the taste of a guy. And sometimes, being tied down helps you let go and let him try. I wouldn't recommend it unless you have a safeword that tells him to stop, which I did.


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Re: My Boyfriend wants to eat me out... - November 24th 2011, 08:51 AM

I liked it. I finally got comfortable enough to allow him to do it, and it was nice. Just relax, and if you are not enjoying it, stop.


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