Please tell me why this is, and is it normal?

[LostAngels]

I'll get straight to the point; I'm a girl, and quite frankly, I don't enjoy having sex.
I love masturbation, I do it regularly. And no, I have never had any traumatic experience, or anything close to, regarding sexual abuse.*

I know that something like 80% of women are incapable of reaching an orgasm with intercourse alone, but still, every girl I know (who talks to me about this) absolutely loves it, even though most don't reach climax either.

I love the idea of romance, and of course I have sexual fantasies. I love the act in the sense that I'm able to feel 100% connected with the person I love, and I'm a very compassionate person.
But I'm not a sensual person. I'm an attractive girl, with a nice body, but no desire to show it off, and I don't enjoy the idea of flirting with random guys or having sex more than I have to (when I'm in a relationship).*
Honestly, if I could find a boyfriend who was completely okay with not having sex at all, I would be in heaven.

No, it doesn't 'gross' me out, I have no problem with it. I just don't understand how girls complain about not getting enough sex, or how any girl could possibly be promiscuous... After the first few times with a boyfriend, it just bores me. I get no joy out of it other than knowing I'm pleasing him.

This isn't something I've ever told a boyfriend, because I realize how much of a complete turn off and worry it would be.*
Do I have the right to feel this way, should I tell my future boyfriends, and why could this be?*

[Nicole!]

Hey there, I moved this over to Sex and Puberty because I think you'll get more responses here.
I'd also just like to say that typically, girls have a lower sex-drive then guys. Its pretty normal to not enjoy having sex as much as guys do.

[Xx.Shes.Unbroken.xX]

Maybe try new things, new positions, sex toys? lol

[Revolution]

Hey there,

You're NOT alone. To be honest, sex is often like the emperor's new clothes. "Everybody is doing it, everybody's enjoying it, I have to enjoy it too" You don't. I didn't enjoy sex with my boyfriend the first few times, I just wanted to please him. Didn't dislike it, but didn't like it. It takes a while. For one, for me, it really takes a strong emotional connection to the person. And two, if you can orgasm with masturbation, you may just be more into clit stimulation, and maybe sexual pleasure will come more easier for you with oral.

To be honest, there may be guys out there you can find who choose to remain abstinent, or have very little interest in sex. it's hard to find in guys, but it DOES happen. Just keep open minded. But also keep open minded about your own sexuality. It may be just developing, and needs more time. Maybe you haven't found the special someone. Whatever the reason, you are not alone, and yes, this is normal.

[Emilycox]

I'm not sure if it's normal to feel like you. But so what if it isn't? Life would be boring if everyone were normal/the same. In some ways I'm almost the opposite of you. I get really turned on by the sight of a penis. I've done casual blowjobs and enjoyed it greatly. I still do it sometimes. So I guess I'm not normal either because most girls aren't doing casual blowjobs

[Angel]

Try different things. What is one (or a few, if you have more than one) part of the sexual experience that you like most? What feels good for you? If it's receiving oral, then perhaps you can ask your partner to spend a little more time on foreplay. Have you tried incorporating some of your masturbation techniques or practices into your sexual encounters? You know yourself best. Take control for a little while and get what you like out of the experience. A big part of developing your sexuality is discovering your preferences and finding out what works for you and what doesn't. Some people don't like penetration as much as they like clitoral stimulation. That's perfectly fine and there's no "wrong" way to have sex if it works for you.

[MacGuffin]

There are plenty of people in this world who like intimacy with others, but don't really like sex. Sure, sex is a way to feel intimacy, but for some people that is the only thing they get out of it, and they are okay with that. It's not the norm, but it's not abnormal. I read a story once in Post Secret that kind of juxtaposes your question: A man and a woman had been married two years. Both were still virgins, and both were okay with it. My point is you don't have to think of sex as this all amazing thing that everyone is supposed to enjoy and you just don't.

If this is something you are comfortable and happy with, and want to live your life this way, then by all means own it and make it a part of your relationships. But if you think there is any possibility it just may be that you haven't found the kind of sexual relationship that fulfills you, it might be a good idea to keep an open mind to the whole thing.

Some people above have already made some good suggestions. But sex doesn't have to lose its novelty after the first few times, and it sounds like that may be the issue. That or you may lose satisfaction if they are not capable of delivering the kind of pleasure you seek. I don't what it is; you have to be the judge of that.

There are hundreds and thousands of sexual positions, places to have sex, settings in which to have sex, accessories to use for sex, outfits to wear, games to play, etc. You can use masturbation during sex. You could also try and enact some of your sexual fantasies with your boyfriend; that might get you really into it.

Whatever you decide is perfectly fine, but perhaps give sex a few more chances before deciding. I am assuming you are no older than your twenties, so you are quite young in the search for finding your sexual niche. Give it some time, perhaps. But this is your choice. If you don't want to pursue sexual relationships, then don't. That is fine, too.

[thinkingandage]

Originally Posted by Emilycox

I'm not sure if it's normal to feel like you. But so what if it isn't? Life would be boring if everyone were normal/the same. In some ways I'm almost the opposite of you. I get really turned on by the sight of a penis. I've done casual blowjobs and enjoyed it greatly. I still do it sometimes. So I guess I'm not normal either because most girls aren't doing casual blowjobs

just enjoy what u're .